DO THEY GIVE GOLD MEDALS FOR SLOTH?

My mom can't come to the blog right now.  She awoke at the crack of noon, slurped up a vat of coffee, wolfed down a bagel with chive and onion cream cheese, changed the background on her blog, and then decided that she needed a nap.

Yes.  It's evident.  I'm living with Shrek.

Thank you for your concern about my health as it relates to my recent gum-chewing incident.  The old lady exaggerates, of course, and I can verify that I only had the gum in my mouth for a few brief moments before she lost her head and pried my jaws open to retrieve it.  Just between us chickens, though, you should know that I frequently look for any means available for a bit of breath freshening, and I will continue to do so until Mo-ther employs a full time dental specialist to assist me with cleaning my teeth.  I am, if nothing else, fastidious when it comes to hygiene.

Aunt Chrissy and Bosco came over on Friday night to watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and we enjoyed a lovely repast of sloppy joes before settling in to our respective Happy Chairs.  Mo-ther bawled her way through the pageantry of it all (as usual), and then had her normal outraged response to the U.S. outfits.  "Why the **** does Ralph Lauren INSIST on dressing our athletes up like ****ing Delta Airlines flight attendants?!", she bellowed. "For the love of Mike!  Cant' he come up with a nice ****ing pedal pusher and some cowboy hats?!!! Berets!!  Jaunty scarves!!!!  What the **** is up with this??!!!"

By now, we're all used to this, so we just let her go until she either a) tires herself out, or b) heads back into the kitchen to eat something.

As for me, I particularly enjoyed the segment featuring themes from British children's literature.  What can I say?  I'm a complete sucker when it comes to Mary Poppins.

The Olympic stitching has begun, and I'm happy to report that a good section of AmyBear's Seasons was completed.  We've hit a bit of a snag with the multi-colored Watercolours, though, in that the blue is just too bright.  I'm fairly certain that there are suitable alternatives up in the studio, so as soon as I hear snoring come from the big girl sleigh bed, I'll sneak up there to see what I can come up with.  (Before you judge....please understand that I just can't take another four or five days of hand-wringing and hair-pulling as the old lady tries to re-invent the wheel by controlling the existing thread.  It's just a lot easier if I take matters into my own paws and switch the thread out already.)

Since it looks like absolutely nothing is going to be accomplished around here today, I might take advantage of the quiet and finish another library book or two.  We're really quite blessed in our area to have some fabulous libraries, so Mo-ther and I have been trying to take advantage of them a little more.  I'm about half-way through Wolf Hall at the moment, and although it's not my normal fare I am enjoying it immensely.

I do hope that wherever you are is exactly where you want to be on this fine Monday afternoon.  Please take care and know that I remain your loyal and devoted friend.

With love from your pal,
Stewey