Dec 14, 2011

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF HAM...

The answer to the question "Does Stewey like ham?" is fraught with drama (as are all things related to Your Lord Highness of The Whole Entire Universe.)

Stewey suffers from seasonal allergies, as does his cousin Bosco, but unlike his cousin Bosco, Stewey demands that he be administered his allergy medicine in precisely 1/8th of an ounce of Wilson Virginia Ham.

Sliced precisely to .5mm from the deli at the fancypants grocery store.

On a Thursday evening in which the ambient temperature of the vehicle does not exceed 54 degrees Fahrenheit.

And said ham must be carefully folded around said allergy medicine perfectly, or within a split second and a half Mommie Dearest here has to fish it out of the shag carpeting and try try again.

(Now before you tell me to get cheaper ham or use a piece of cheese or buy the Greenies pill pockets, can I ask you a question? Have you MET Stewey?)

You'll be happy to know that I had not one, but TWO ham and cheese panini yesterday. I'm viewing that little sad fact as a training exercise and not an indication that Aunt Chrissy needs to call Dr. Drew and Co.

Again.

"On this episode of People Who Think They're Celebrities Rehab, the Spinster Stitcher tries to overcome her addiction to cured luncheon meats while simultaneously revealing that she is, in fact, knee-deep into her Jeffrey Dean Morgan obsession, and would like to finish stitching every single work in progress found languishing in her studio."

7 comments:

  1. I think those greenie pill pockets are the bomb! My Leo (a 13 lb JRT) has been taking antibiotics in pill form for an abscessed tooth and all I have to do is put that pill in the pill pocket, smush it so that he can't smell the pill and voila...he swallows that sucker lickety split. Before pill pockets, years ago when I had Leo's mom and dad, I used to use peanut butter. Worked like a charm. Try that, maybe it'll work.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My miniature schnauzer, Nero, has been on twice daily anti-seizure meds for almost two years. After trying multiple delivery methods (cheese, peanut butter, the pill pockets, etc), the two most successful are pepperoni slices and small marchmallows!

    After recent dental surgery, he ended up needing five pills a day and he was in heaven with the extra treats. Little did he know the secret filling inside....

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. - I love ham too! Since I work for a food company I get a restaurant portion one each year and manage to consume it entirely (dh and kids help a little).
    2. my fussy dog crosses her front legs when she sits on the couch and I do think that is weird!
    3. I think I can stitch everything in my possession which is why I still buy more.
    There are the reason I think we may have been sisters in another life. Love you spinster!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey, it could always be worse....you could be eating headcheese, which is one of my personal weaknesses....much to the total, complete and utter disgust of my family.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so glad that Dash only requires a bit of velveeta! Also have you seen The Accidental Husband? Oh such a bad movie except that Jeffrey Dean Morgan plays a fireman - so completely watchable. I am looking forward to the remake of Red Dawn, he plays Powers Booth!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Every since we had Bud fixed and he had pain meds, he doesn't have a problem taking pills. His monthly heart worm pill goes down unassisted, I'm just glad he can't get pass those child protective caps on my blood pressure meds or I'd be in trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That Stewey sure has his Momma wrapped around his little paws! My doggie gobbles down everything even his Prednisone pills....I do wrap them in a small bit of Kraft American cheese but he grabs it so fast he nearly takes my fingers off with it.

    All this talk of ham is killing me ...I love Honey-Baked Ham but my other half is not big on ham (crazy man....)

    ReplyDelete