Apr 7, 2011


My mom can't come to the blog right now. I blame this fact on TLC's "Extreme Couponing", which captivated both she and Aunt Chrissy into the wee hours of the morning.

Here's a recap:


(sound of dial tone)

MO-THER (muttering to herself): GDMNIT! Why can't I learn to use a telephone like a normal person? Stewey? Come here and show Mommie how to call Aunt Chrissy on this here fancypants contraption....

And on and on it went. Once Aunt Chrissy was summoned and had tuned her TeeVee to the appropriate channel, the two of them sat in stupefied awe at the folks on the show who had enough stuff on hand to ward off a plague of locusts, a pile of hungry frat boys, or a small squad of anal retentive cleaning ladies.

I'm pretty sure it was the toilet paper that got Mo-ther and Aunt Chrissy into such a tizzy fit. The two of them buy the stuff like it's going to be discontinued at any given moment. Mom scours the weekend circulars and then hollers at Aunt Chrissy to get her shoes on because the Targets has Quilted Northern on sale and we're down to our last hundred rolls. (As God is my witness, I'm going to build myself a lovely little ski chalet out of them one of these days)

So once again, not one bit of stitching was completed last night and I was left to fend for myself when it came time for a NightNight story and a proper tuck in. (Mo-ther was glued to the 'puter, furiously lookly for websites that would teach her how to become a Sooper Cooponer.)

Today is rather gloomy and fraut with expectation around here. In exactly five days my Aunt Chrissy will turn 40 years of age and I am at a loss as to what would constitute a proper gift. She is, after all, my very favorite person on this planet, so I feel it necessary to express my love for her in a profound way. But what's a boy to do? I can't drive to the Mall (long story, but car keys are no longer kept within my reach) and online shopping is now off limits because of You Know Who, so I'm left with the prospects of heading up to the studio to craft something out of felt, DMC floss, and whatever left over mess of fabric I can find in the "I'm going to learn how to do all of my own finishing" pile that, alas, never quite materialized.

Any ideas?

I hope that you're having an extremely sooper day of your very own! Know that I remain....

Your loving pal,


  1. Oh my! That is so funny....my dad was exactly the same way...after he passed, my sister and I were cleaning out the house...we found a stash so big neither of us bought TP for a year!!!!!


  2. Stewey - hugs & kisses are always appreciated by favorite aunties.

  3. You know, I have to say I try to avoid most reality TV shows like that, although they are like watching a car accident. You just can't look away. As for Aunt Chrissy's b-day gift, maybe a framed photo of yourself, your bestest one? Or even a nice lunch out with a mani/pedi for you both? I'm sure you will come up with something great!

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  5. Well, Aunt Chrissy likes movies...How about one of those clay paw print thingees? You and Bosco could make it into a little ceremony, a la Grauman's Chinese Theatre! Rent a few good movies to watch on the TeeVee while you eat cake and let the impressions dry! :O)

  6. Hello, Master Stewey,
    You already know what to get for Aunt Chrissy..... Quilted Northern!
    Barb in Syracuse

  7. Dear Stewey, I was exactly like Mo-ther last night...I couldn't stitch for the life of me because I was gaping at all the stash of food/cleaning/TeePee those coupon snipping people had acquired. Alas, I am too tired to do thatt.. Life is too short to spend 2 hours checking out of the grocery store! I'm sure Aunt Chrissy will love anything you give to her!

  8. For Aunt Chrissy, instead of quilted Northern maybe a nice quilted Vera Bradley stitchy bag? They have some stunning color/pattern combos out. Maybe some special chocolates in the stitchy bag? When I am trying to spoil my sis, I send her a beautiful flower arrangement. She rarely gets flowers and I know she loves how they cheer up a room.

    Whatever you do, I know you'll make her day very very special! After all - you'll be the one to be spoilt in only a couple weeks!


  9. Along with hugs and kisses, favorite aunties just really like it when their nieces and nephews actually remember they have a birthday! And when mine didn't, I threatened to withdraw the support of funds, gifties, etc. (in a very immature rant, I might add) and they haven't forgotten my birthday since!

    How about a wonderful pair of Dovo scissors? Or, gift certificate(s) for her fav stores in the amount of $40? AND some time with family at a wonderful restaurant of her choosing?

    LauraB in Utah

  10. Stewey whatever you get will be pure genius and well-loved I'm sure! :D Cathryn

  11. OMG!! We were just talking about this show this (yesterday) afternoon!

    Sorry, but I am all out of gift ideas. :-(

  12. Oh my goodness you all have such grand ideas... I say a gift card and a check to the American Red Cross each for $40.00 in Aunties name... and Cake and Ice cream of course.
    Happy Birthday Aunty Chrissy!
    PS My Fathers vice was those disposable razors. He died in 1981 and I have never bought razors again...I am down to one package however.

  13. I saw that couponing show also. Who really needs that much stuff? Alot of it will go to waste. I think some of it should be given to their local food banks.

  14. OMG! I was totally sucked into that coupon show. I don't think I need a stockpile...that was kind of scary...doesn't that stuff go out of date? I think my diet coke tastes funny if past the date!!??!!
    Hapyy 45th!!!

  15. Blog break?? How long will you be away?? it's been 8 days and I miss my Spinster and Stewy fix!! Love you guys and hope the "break" is over soon!! Miss you all.