Mar 7, 2011


*****WARNING*****: The following post contains a level of profanity heretofore not seen on this here blog. This post has NOT been edited for children and/or people who are offended by the use of some pretty salty language. If this type of thing offends you in ANY way, please do not read further, but return to our regularly scheduled programming once I've gotten this out of my system and my blood pressure has returned to normal. I repeat: Don't go any further if you don't like bad words. There are a lot of them to come and I am not going to apologize for them tomorrow.


Dear Dickhead.

Yes, I mean you. You were the idiot who decided to climb behind the wheel of a small plane last night and then fly it over Mishawaka (specifically, our neighborhoods), to terrorize and generally scare the living beJesus out of the hundreds of people standing in their driveways wondering when they would get to experience death by plane. And not death by flying IN a plane, but rather death by a fiery crash OF a plane flown by some jackass who thought that joyriding at night over a city would be fun.

If and when they find you, please know that I will be standing in the courtroom directly behind you, hoping that you will wake the F up and decide that you will never ever do something like that again.

Was it fun for you up there swooping around in the sky? Did you laugh as you heard us screaming that you must have been having some type of medical problem or that you must have lost an engine or something? Was it a thrill to come that close to the power lines on either side of Day Road?

What about the hospital that was less than a block away from you and your stupidity? Did you wonder how many people would have died had you crashed that plane into the side of it? What about all of the people sitting in the waiting rooms or the Emergency Room wondering if their loved one would get better, or survive that surgery, or would remember them after their stroke?

Hospitals no big deal for you? How about the eleven churches that were within yards of where you were? And how about the hundreds (if not thousands of people who were sitting in those churches attending Sunday evening services?)

Did you know that Main Street and Grape Road are the most heavily concentrated areas of retail and restaurants in the entire northern half of the state of Indiana, and that your timing was just right to take out thousands of people as they left work/dinner/errands/shopping/or the grocery store for the evening?

OK. So maybe that doesn't get you. How about neighborhoods? You know, neighborhoods where people live their lives and raise their families and eat their food and watch their TeeVees and pay their taxes and dream their dreams and love their loved ones? You picked a pretty good spot if you wanted to crash into a neighborhood. I mean, after all, you had Winding Brook, Savannah Pass, and The Forest all right there to choose from. Did you wave to us as you careened over our rooftops? Was it funny? Did it give you some twisted thrill?

You think you got away with it, you son of a bitch. You think that you swooped and flew and killed the engine and then buzzed the rooftops for forty-five minutes and then just straightened your wings and flew off into the dark night toward Michigan.

But we'll find you. Somebody saw your tail number. And somebody else will be able to give a pretty good description of your plane to the people who are looking for you. And they will. I promise you that. Because I spent MY morning making sure of it. I spent MY morning calling every single police agency and government department that I could find so that when they knock on your door they will know that there is a citizenry behind them that wants to see you prosecuted and then punished to within an inch of your miserable stupid little life.

Yeah, I know. I'm nobody, and I probably looked and sounded pretty silly when I talked to the 9-1-1 dispatcher telling her what was going on. I might even have sounded a little bit nuts when I called the Department of Homeland Security to tell them what had happened, or when I wondered aloud how this area would have reacted to (God forbid) a plane flying into the Golden Dome over there at Notre Dame.

But you know what? I don't care. What I care about is that you thought you would act the fool last night and take not just YOUR life into your hands, but the lives of thousands of people below you. And for that I'm willing to look like the world's biggest jackass.

They'll find you. I know they will. In the meantime, you can go straight to Hell and burn there for being a stupid selfish prick.


Dear local media:

The reason we will always be a backwater hayseed nothing of a place is because you think that Twitter is a good way to gather news. Just so you know....not everybody in your viewing audience is in the 18-24 year old demographic. Given the fact that this plane few DIRECTLY OVER YOUR BRAND NEW STATE OF THE ART MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR TELEVISION STUDIO, I would think that you would have thought to mention it on the 11 o'clock news. A simple "This happened, but we're all OK now" would have sufficed. Soooo, until you can get your heads out of your twelve year old asses and get off the damn internet, I'm going to assume that I would be better off watching CNN and reading The New York Times.


That concludes our rant for today. Thank you for allowing me to vent all of that out. Needless to say, standing outside at 7:30 at night watching an airplane swoop over you is rather unsettling, and I don't ever want to have that feeling again. I was terrified, as were all of the neighbors gathered in the street over at Aunt Chrissy's house (which is where Stewey and I happened to be for a Sunday evening visit). I am beyond grateful that the whole thing ended without a bang or a whimper, but I'm a little weary of the fact that one selfish bastard can really screw it all up for the rest of us.

I'll be back to normal tomorrow, I promise. In the meantime, I hope YOUR Sunday night was a LOT more peaceful than ours was!


  1. Holy Freaking Hannah! That would scare the bejeebers outta me too! Go ahead...rant some's okay! I'd be doing it too! Very well said!

  2. Well said Coni!! I too am reaching my limit of patience with selfish stupid people (though I haven`t witnessed anything quite so dramatic as this!)

    You go girl!!

    Kisses to Stewey

  3. So sorry this happened to you...I know it had to be scarey and glad you reported it....hope they find him and put him in jail...there has to be some sort of law against doing something so stupid!

    Hugs to you...

  4. OMG! OMG! OMG! I can't even imagine what you were going through, but good for you for actually DOING something about it! Calling and calling and calling. Because many people will complain about something but not do anything about it. I look forward to your return to sanity, i.e., stitching and Stewey peeing on the drapes. LOL.

  5. Brava!, Girlfriend! You said it!

    My god, I wish I had half the wits you had and the all the wits you possessed (plus nerves of steel to form coherent sentences like you) to be able to write this post - I'd be a freaking millionaire! I know that if it had been me writing it, it would have come out as a sputtering gibberish mess with a great amount of salt to boot.

    As it is, I am appalled that someone that stupid even lives or functions into anything resembling a human being, if you can call them that. And THEY BREED! Arghhhh.

    The inhumanity of it all. I am very thankful that you are all right, and that everyone is safe and sound. I'd be freaking out myself, and honestly, I expected a lot more salt, but you surprised me. (Not that you aren't capable of holding your tongue, please don't misunderstand me) I guess it's because I would have been so pissed off I would have had a lot more verbage of the salt kind so that's why I am surprised. You live with a passion and write well, you know, that's why I expected more salt. :)

    Hugs and Love to you and the family sweetie!

  6. Wow, that's just, WOW! Whoever it was is going to be in SERIOUS trouble with the feds (rightfully so).

    I'm so sorry for your distress, Coni. Please keep us posted on developments.

  7. O.K. I know it was scary and I'm sorry that you had that experience...but OMG you are sooo fricken funny!

    I'm at work (on a break) and I laughed out loud! I especially love the disclaimer at the top and your salutation!

    I'm laughing now just thinking of it.

    I hope they catch that arse too, and the prosecute him.

    Because as funny as your post was...his actions were not.

  8. How incredably stupid!! Find him, bind him and toss away the key!!!!

  9. I don't blame you! My father and husband are both GA pilots and what you describe is totally unacceptable. The FAA can be a nasty organization to have to deal with. After 911 they are still pretty cautious about pilots and planes and let's hope that they eventually find this DH. One more thing, GOOD FOR YOU. The more we sit around and take that kind of behavior and do nothing, the more terrorized we will be. I applaud you. GET 'EM

  10. Coni, you go girl! Sounds like a frightening ordeal. Good for you for speaking out and standing up for yourself and your neighbors!

  11. Oh my goodness gracious! That would have scared the ling daylights out of me too!

  12. You go, Coni! I hope when they find this guy they will let you be first in line to kick his sorry butt.

  13. Having lived just outside of NYC on 9/11, I would have felt the very same way with the exact same fury. I think anyone with any sense of humanity would feel the very same way, regardless of where you lived on 9/11. I'm not special.

    My only hope is that whomever the idiot is that was flying that plane was drunk or on drugs. Otherwise there is no way I could fathom what would possess someone to commit such actions. I cannot comprehend a brain that would do something like that were it not under the influence of something not human.

  14. Go Coni!! What an ass, I hope they catch this person. Not funny and everyone is just lucky it ended without a tragedy.

  15. Holy moly! That idiot should be caught and scared half out of his wits like he scared you and everyone else affected by his actions. It would have only taken one stupid little mistake...just one. I hope they catch his stupid ass. And ground the hell out of him.

  16. Go girl, at least you reported it to the appropriate people. Anyone would have been scared to death by such idiotic behavior. Please let us know if the sonofabitch is caught
    I hope Stewey was o.k. during all of this and Aunt Chrissy and Bosco.

  17. Good for you! I am so sorry you all were so terrorized by this. I sincerely hope they get him! :{ Cathryn

  18. Wow. I'm glad nothing bad happened! Please let us know when they catch this guy.

  19. Well said. We are surrounded by idiots.