Feb 23, 2011


I promise...there will be stitchy stuff on this here blog one of these days, but in the meantime:

Last night Stewey and I hit the hay at about 1am. (What can I say? I was enthralled with Piers Morgan's chat with Colin Firth, and Lord knows I can love me some Colin Firth just before bedtime.)

Oh, wait.

That didn't sound quite right.

Let's try again, shall we?

I have long admired Colin Firth and his work, so when I had the opportunity to view an interview that he gave recently on the Piers Morgan show, I watched with rapt attention. Then I went to bed.

That's better.

Anywhoose....not more than an hour after I had wished Stewey good puppy dreams, a PACK (and I mean PACK) of coyotes started howling and barking and growling right outside my bedroom window.

You know the expression "my blood ran cold"? Well, for the first time in my life I had that experience, and had it not been for the fact that there was a whole wall and a window and a pair of Target clearance rack drapes in between me and the PACK of coyotes, I'm pretty sure I would have had to discard my mattress today. I. Was. Terrified.

Given my last post, I would imagine that all of your comments will be "What did Stewey, the fierce and beastly hunter do?".

Let me save you the typing.

Stewey, the fierce and beastly hunter didn't move an inch and continued snoring away under the blankets as though absolutely nothing was happening. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that had I, in fact, had the accident that would have caused me to have to discard my mattress, he wouldn't have noticed and would probably have gone right on sleeping through the dismantling of the big girl sleigh bed right there in the middle of the bedroom its very self.

This morning when I opened the living room drapes, I noticed all kinds of crazy hell out there in the snow that had previously covered the back yard and patio with nary a mark. Paw prints, fur, what I can only presume to be the blood of some poor unsuspecting chicken that was sacrificed in some sort of satanic ritual right out there in my very own back freakin yard, which, by the way, just happens to be right out there in an adjacent position to my very own back freakin bedroom.

I hate nature.

****I realize that y'all might think that I would want something to be "done" to these coyotes or that I am not sympathetic to their plight. So let's get a few things straight about that....firstly, I would NEVER want to hurt any living creature (except, possibly, for the idiot woman on the cell phone in the smack gd middle of the aisle at the Targets the other night), and secondly, I know that these poor creatures have to live somewhere new and exciting because we're all idiots and are not taking care of our planet, blah blah blah....BUT I LIVE IN INDY-FREAKIN-ANNA for cryin' out loud and NOT the Austrailian Freakin Outback or the American Freakin Wild West! I could have been the wife on Green Acres! I don't like things that crawl, hop, slither, bark, gallop, run, howl, mate, and/or live outside of the confines of a nicely appointed condo that comes fully equipped with Crate and Barrel dishes, 300 thread count sheets and a nine pound Jack Russell terrier who watches Charlie Rose while wearing a silk smoking jacket.


  1. We see and hear coyotes often where I live - semi-rural area - but never under my bedroom window!
    Our nature yesterday was a hawk that flew through my front yard and dropped the baby jackrabbit he was carrying. Poor thing was stunned and not in great shape but we wrapped him up and got him to a wildlife rehab place that specialized in jackrabbits - hoping nature was kinder to him today.
    Be glad you weren't a chicken is all I can say!!

  2. Pictures please...of all the gore! LOL! So glad you don't need to replace the mattress1

  3. When I hear the yelping of the coyotes it's usually a rabit they have caught. Last week outside my courtyard was a bunny tail....We see them in daylight roaming around occasionally. Stewey is selective to what he needs to give attention to!

  4. I've lived here in GA for 11 years now. I've heard people talk about coyotes but I thought they were pulling my leg. In GA? This far south? Ahem....a couple months ago someone shot a large wild pig and left it on the side of the road and one day I was going to town and what do you think was there feasting on rotting carcass? I stopped and backed up and he went back in the woods a little bit and stood watching me then took off. I knew it was a coyote because it looked exactly like Wiley Coyote. The long snout, scruffy head, big ears. That was only 2 miles from my house. :o( I'm glad I have a 6 foot fence around my yard. That's scary stuff there.

  5. The coyotes near where I live are bold as brass. Several years ago, I was working at home while my daughter was recovering from surgery which had her in full-length casts on both legs. She was laying on the floor watching TV in the living room, just inside of the big sliding glass doors to the back yard. I was in the adjacent office at the computer facing the window that overlooked the yard. A coyote jumped over the 6 1/2 fence at the back corner of the yard and started toward our trash bins. I was out of my seat so fast it'd make your head spin. I ran through the house and out the kitchen door (closest to the trash bins), yelling like a mad woman. That coyote didn't even react until I was about a foot away. It finally turned tail and went back the way it came. Scary stuff! We added height to the fence in that area and put in lattice above the gate in the breezeway, but they still found their way in. We don't live in that house anymore, but there are coyotes in the more densely-populated area where we live now, too.

  6. Apparently, from what I have read, they area becoming more common in urban areas. After all, there are no natural enemies. They are taking down dogs/cats at a pretty regular rate. Some morons cut down a bunch of trees, about destroying an entire forest habitat. I spotted a pair of them lopping along the hill about 5:30 p.m. one day. Guess they were relocating.

  7. I would NEVER want to hurt any living creature (except, possibly, for the idiot woman on the cell phone in the smack gd middle of the aisle at the Targets the other night)

    Word. Seriously people, hang up!

  8. I have similar coyote stories. I moved from "in-town-PA" to "out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-KY". I especially hated the snakes that would cozy up along the side of the house next to the porch, next to THE DOOR I would innocently skip out of on a sunny afternoon!!

  9. I can't believe Master Stewey didn't even wiggle a whisker at the noise! I swear our dog can hear the coyotes from miles away (and I hope they stay miles away).

  10. We have 'em here too in the panhandle of WV. The hunters shoot them often and although I hate to say it, I'm glad. I would be very careful putting Stewey out in the back yard alone, to do his business before bedtime. We always go out with the dogs at night, and I look around before we step down off the deck. At nine pounds, Stewey really isn't much bigger than a jack rabbit.

  11. A couple of years ago, here in SW Ontario, they started taking pets in the neighbourhood, and there were a couple of reports of them following small children around... I haven't seen a rabbit in two years now... I used to see several in my sideyard every day... In addition, a full grown woman was killed by coyotes in a park in New Brunswick (It may have been Nova Scotia, though)...

    In other words, watch Stewey...

  12. I live in a Chicago suburb and we've seen coyotes roaming in our very well populated neighborhood. There have been small dogs killed by them in their own yards around here. I hate those things.

  13. I'm afraid you wouldn't like living in the alternate universe in which I reside. Rural Southern California, amongst the coyotes, mountain lions, scorpions, and my personal favorite, rattlesnakes.

    I can never let my three princes..um..dogs out in the backyard without supervision. You haven't lived until you've seen a middle aged woman in an old nightie chase a coyote out of the yard with a golf club.

    You'd be surprised at what you'd do if anyone was after your Stewie!

  14. Coni, I'm with you -- I hate nature! Stay safe inside.

  15. Well, I guess I'm way out of step. :-) I live out in the desert just a little west of Tucson, AZ. Almost every night I get sung to sleep by the coyotes. I love hearing them. I also have a female bobcat that likes to sit in the tree outside my bedroom window in the spring. Each year she brings her little babies around. What a joy to watch. The most wonderful critters are around every day: cotton tail rabbits, hares, javalinas, hawks, tons of gambel's quail, cardinals, coyotes, bobcats, and lots of others. I consider myself blessed.
    Pamela, Tucson

  16. You. Are. Hilarious. Hahhahaha - thanks for the laugh.

  17. I hear ya about the coyotes. I saw one in the park behind our house. When I lived in NS I heard them hunting nearly nightly...and the bald eagles were bad too. I never let my Tessa (Min Pin, 8 lbs)out alone or not on a leash. Don`t let Stewey out by himself without an armed escort!

    I love nature, and couldn`t shoot an animal if I was paid...unless it was threatening me or my pets. If they mind their business they are safe from me...

    Kisses to Stewey

  18. I live in the middle of the woods near the middle of nowhere (seriously, you can see nowhere from my upstair's window). So, yes, there are coyotes--ugly, rangy, coyotes who have been run out of their woods by people who think subdivisions are a good idea. Don't get me wrong--I'm not some rabid tree-hugging, nature girl. I kinda feel sorry for the animals--and, duh, nature.
    But what really got me in your post was the lady in Target with the CELLPHONE. Now that woman deserves our unmitigated scorn. Along with the entire free-ranging population of unfettered cellphone abusers. Like the one who wandered into my needlework shop yesterday ON her cellphone and proceeded to carry on a long conversation while gesticulating to me for help while she shopped and talkled. Made her purchases and left without so much as a thank you and never once moved her cellphone from her head region. I guess I should just be thankful she shopped with me instead of on line :)

    P.S. Don't let Stewy roam free.

  19. Yikes. My blood running cold moment was a couple of years ago when a fox 'got' a goose. No mistaking those screams. I am with you when it comes to nature... I'm glad it is outside!

  20. Literally, LOL! Thank you so much, BUT, I hope those coyotes find a lovely home SOMEWHERE ELSE! You and I both would have had an accident (were I unfortunately enough to have that happen to me). As for Stewey, I'm sure he heard and thought sleep was the better part of valor so to speak. Thank you for your blog sharings. :D Cathryn

  21. Just saw a show on History Channel about a young woman who was attacked and killed by three coyotes in Nova Scotia. They had lost their fear of humans.

    Maybe it's the unusual winter that has them more desperate.

  22. Deborah says:

    I'm with pamelaric...I love nature.

    Here in Asheville I get to see deer, bears, groundhogs, and all sorts of naturey stuff.

    What gets ME is insects! Those, I could do without.

  23. We have a coyote problem here as well. It appears as if they have been increasing in numbers lately. Let's face it, they do not have anything taking them out. We have those nightmarish sounds every night because they decided to house themselves in our neighbors abandoned boat. I am beginning to feel like the stalked prey. It may sound strange but the only way we can get them to den somewhere else is to mark the woods with our scent. Sooooo, I gather the 4 boys up and tell them to go pee in the woods near the den. Gross but it works.

  24. Be careful wth those coyotes. I live smack dab in the middle of a subdivision but one snatched my little Maggie cat last year and killed her in broad daylight. Now Clarice only sees nature on tv.

  25. In our woods at assorted times: We have deer. We have bunnies. We have wild turkeys. We have had moose. We have a fishercat. We also once had a Bobcat. We have Hootie, the barred owl who comes to sit on our back balcony rail. We have coyotes, including one particularly lovelorn one walking along the back stone wall, back and forth and back, yowling and barking for his true love which he must have found because he has not been back - at least not back looking for another love.

    We keep our dogs and cats close, really close - and mostly inside or very close to the house.