My mom can't come to the blog right now. She too busy accepting the "Queen High Exalted of the Whole Entire Universe" award while standing in front of the bathroom mirror clutching a shampoo bottle.
Really, people. You have GOT to stop being so damn nice to her. It goes straight to her head, and I'm the one that has to live with her and her ridiculous ego for days and days after she has one of these silly "FEE NEES".
So, in the name of all that is holy, I beg you. Please, just silently mutter something under your breath like "Gee, a lousy five finishes in a year and that woman expects us to jump up and down for her?" and then get on with your day. K?
Mo-ther and Aunt Chrissy were out most of last night. I at first suspected that they might have joined the 18th century and decided to go out on the town, but it looks like they went to the Targets instead. (Hence the shampoo bottle in the bathroom). Mom let her supplies get dangerously low this month, and I was almost on the verge of having to drive myself over to the PetSmart for some cookies, but all is now well thanks to a few well-chosen coupons. I always love it when Mom does a little shopping for the homestead. I get to inspect each and every bag and noodge noodge through them until I find what I'm looking for. Usually it's a new toy for me (!) or a bag of something tasty that gets my undivided attention, but last night I discovered that we are soon to be sporting some new drapes in the living room.
Yes, you heard it. New drapes in the living room.
Now before you admonish me not to pee on them, may I just point out that I've already checked the label, and they are, in fact, machine washable. I, furthermore, have no intentions of watering said drapes, provided I get the proper care, nutrition, and attention that I require. In other words, unless the old lady wants to be washing drapes every day this winter, I suggest that she forks over my AMEX card and the car keys, or I might have to get my naughty on.
There wasn't one bit of stitching last night, but today looks like a good one for the Happy Chair. Mom's headed to the grocery store and then I suspect that she will be in the jammies and slippers by late this afternoon. I wonder if I could convince her to fire up the fireplace, given the fact that it's about 47 degrees in here?
Either that, or I'm going to have to get my Snuggie out of storage.
I hope that wherever you are is exactly where you want to be. Stay warm and safe and dry out there and know that I love you very very deeply.