See this look on my face? See how I am doing my level best to keep my little mouth shut and not spew forth with a ton of obscenities that would land me in Time Out forever? It all started yesterday when Aunt Chrissy got it in her head to pee in my Cheerios by bringing my little twerp cousin Bosco over for a play date. Yeah, some play date. He clickety clacks around the house all freakin day trying to look all cute and inquisitive, and I get my heiniey smacked for growling at the little bugger. He throws the toys all over hell's half acre and I'm the one that gets scolded for making such a mess. He pees on the drapes....
Oh wait. That was me.
It's not that I don't like him, actually. I do. I like him just fine when he's at HIS house playing with HIS toys and sucking all of the attention out of the room with HIS mommie. It's when he comes here that I have a problem. It's all "Watch the baby!" "Stewey, share your toys!" "Stewey, don't tell your little baby cousin to jump off the roof!" "Stewey, be a good example!" "Stewey, put that pipe down, take off that little silk smoking jacket and go outside to play ball with Bosco!".
It's a crime, I tell ya. I had a really good gig going over here until HE came along. Three squares a day, a nice big bed to sleep in, treats galore, toys up the ying yang, a woman so wrapped around my little finger that she would rather die than upset, displace, or offend me in any way, and a perch from which I have been benevolently running the universe in the exact fashion I wish to run it.
And then along came Bosco.
Aw, Stewey! It's not like he lives with you. LOL...besides, I really think you love that little cousin of yours anyway. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteBosco baby looks like a lean mean snoring machine!!!! Too funny yet again!! You maka my day!!!
ReplyDeleteStewey, you need to get your 'Price' blanket back out to remind Mo-ther that you are no. 1.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, Coni, this reminded me of when my son was about 4 years old. He was not a cuddle-bug. Far too independent to snuggle in a chair with his Mo-ther. Then his cousin who is a year younger, came to visit and promptly climbed into my lap for a good snuggle. My son came over and pulled him out, sat in my lap, and declared, "My Mommy"! I guess you could say this was his way of peeing on the drapes (marking his territory)!
Coni you really should write a sit-com about your life with His Royal Highness.I just got home from a busy shift at the hospital and have now laughed so much all the stress is gone. Thankyou for being you.
ReplyDeleteAwwww. Poor Stewey! OMG! that is NOT Bosco sleeping in his spot! Oh no it isn't! I'd be ticked too! cheeky monkey!
ReplyDeleteStewey, you crack me up! And I do agree, Bosco has no right to be on the Prince blanket...Poor Stewey!
ReplyDeleteNow Stewey, you may or may not want to let your mom know that there is a thing called a number generator...I found it on http://www.random.org/
It's really cool, as if you look down the list under "numbers and strings and lists, oh my!" it has a list generator!!! Your mom could put in the list of all the pattern titles that she has as a UFO or a WIP and it will generate a list for you...I plan on using that gizmo to help me figure out the cross stitching I plan on doing for the rest of my life!
(I will also use the number generator too, to pick out patterns when I am all caught up - all my patterns are numbered in black books where I keep vitals, I suppose you can call them stitching journals of sorts).
And, please let your mom know, I ordered my ort jars and labels and should get them in about 5 days...free shipping that way from Amazon!
Hugs and Love,
Jennifer
Poor little Lord Fauntleroy, his life is one big PITA. I don't know how he endures the endless torture and agony of Bosco. Of course, Bosco is totally oblivious.
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