See this look on my face? See how I am doing my level best to keep my little mouth shut and not spew forth with a ton of obscenities that would land me in Time Out forever?
It all started yesterday when Aunt Chrissy got it in her head to pee in my Cheerios by bringing my little twerp cousin Bosco over for a play date. Yeah, some play date. He clickety clacks around the house all freakin day trying to look all cute and inquisitive, and I get my heiniey smacked for growling at the little bugger. He throws the toys all over hell's half acre and I'm the one that gets scolded for making such a mess. He pees on the drapes....
Oh wait. That was me.
It's not that I don't like him, actually. I do. I like him just fine when he's at HIS house playing with HIS toys and sucking all of the attention out of the room with HIS mommie. It's when he comes here that I have a problem. It's all "Watch the baby!" "Stewey, share your toys!" "Stewey, don't tell your little baby cousin to jump off the roof!" "Stewey, be a good example!" "Stewey, put that pipe down, take off that little silk smoking jacket and go outside to play ball with Bosco!".
It's a crime, I tell ya. I had a really good gig going over here until HE came along. Three squares a day, a nice big bed to sleep in, treats galore, toys up the ying yang, a woman so wrapped around my little finger that she would rather die than upset, displace, or offend me in any way, and a perch from which I have been benevolently running the universe in the exact fashion I wish to run it.
And then along came Bosco.