Sep 15, 2010


Shame on you.

Yeah...I'm talking to you.

All of you fabulous stitchers out there in Stitchy Blogville who lovingly take care of your home and decorate it for the seasons and make things that look splendid, should get in your car right this very minute and drive to Hoosierville to knock some freakin' sense into me.

It all started innocently enough. Aunt Chrissy did her Fall thing a few weeks ago and decorated her home with all of the things she's stiched and collected for this here autumnal season. During one of my visits with my little puppy tot Bosco (we have a date every Wednesday), I looked around and thought "Geeze, Louise, my house looks like a cell in a minimum security corrections facility compared to this", so I set about trying to festive-up Chez Spinster to within an inch of it's life.


Huge, huge failure.

Let's take a look around, shall we?

First up is the view from the Happy Chair looking south. Here you will see a little dog on his perch, looking very disgusted. He's bemoaning the fact that, once again, his idiot mo-ther has completely failed in her attempts to do one simple thing that any second grader with a limited background in Art, Art History, and Design could accomplish. It will be days before he'll speak to me again:
So then we turn slightly to the right to take a quick glance at last night's stitchy progress on Quaker Diamonds. As you can see, I got very little done, but did manage to junk up the table that holds all of my collective crapola:
Then there's the dining room. One the wall are two needlepoint pictures that Mom made, her Jasper cabinet (with enough dust in it to qualify as an EPA clean-up site), and the tea cart that I tried to hide behind once when the babysitter wanted to spank me for sassing her. (Nope...wasn't the brightest child ever....and considering my substantial girth, it's no wonder that a stupid little dainty tea cart had NO intention of protecting me from a heiney whoopin' that I still remember to this day.) You'll notice my completely pitiful attempt at autumnal decoration here...a stack of Jane Austen books and a couple of resin acorn thingies from last year's Hobby Lobby clearance bin:
You've seen it before....the big white wall of nothingness! Only this time I've artfully added a few pieces of stitching on the console table and a ceramic pumpkin that a boyfriend's mom made me over 20 years ago. How hard would it be for me to pick up a gallon of paint, I ask you:
Stewey, in addition to being thoroughly peeved at my lame-ass homekeeping skills, is also upset over my bright idea to cull his toy box and only allow him to play with those that have an "autumnal theme". I carefully selected all of the toys that were fall or Halloween related, washed and dried them, and then moved all of the other non-themed toys into the guest room. He is definitely NOT amused, and I would imagine that if you look hard enough, you'll see that he watered the toy basket a full three minutes after I carefully arranged things into a cornucopia of fun:

I just don't understand it at all. It's not that I am completely ANTI-homemaking. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. I try and try and try to achieve a certain "look", but all I seem to come up with is Early Swamp Meet circa 1982. (And yes, I meant to say "swamp" there instead of "swap".) (Because, after all..who the heck would want to "swap" me for any of this crap?)

So thanks alot, friends. You and your gorgeous stitching and gorgeous houses and gorgeous families have made me want to pull the covers over my head today. Either that, or I'm going to find out where each and every one of you live, and I'm going to show up on your doorstep with a notepad in hand...ready to learn how to do what it is that you do.

Have a Happy out there in your wonderfully decorated houses that probably smell like gingerbread and freshly laundered clothes. Try not to feel to bad that a poor little unsuspecting spinster in the Midwest is sitting in her underpants today, delicately sniffling into a Kleenex over her complete lack of domestic capability. Don't worry about me...I'll get over it. Really. I will. No need to feel bad or anything. Sometimes these things happen....

Tee heeeeeeeeeee!!!


  1. I think your house, furniture, decorating and walls beat mine all to hell to be totally honest. And my walls are all white, and did you hear...that's the new home trend - back to basics. Its easier to add color with accessories than to paint a wall some color and hope it works. Your home is lovely, cozy and wonderfully decorated!!!

  2. I agree with Vonna. I always love looking at pics of your home. Simple, classic, elegant. I love the hardwood floors and your nesting tables and the shelves you have and the fireplace. There are many talented and creative stitchers out there, but remember that each one of us is unique. I saw a saying once and I think it was in a cross stitch magazine. It said "Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken" or something like that. Meaning don't try to be like anyone else. Be yourself. And also remember that what you are doing right now is all right. I also saw another saying that I take to heart. "I am not something broken that needs to be fixed!" Okay. I did not mean to write a book, but I hope you get my point.

  3. I think you are the coolest chic on the block! You always stitch the best looking charts and it makes all of us out here in blogland go out and buy the charts to stitch just like you! Or, I know I do.... I always love looking at your home pictures because it always looks so tre chic! I think you way under estimate what your viewing audience thinks of you! We love to look at your lovely home, your cutie pie puppy, listen to your funny tales, and read about your delicious dishes that you make! I almost dread the weekends because I know you will not be posting until the week proper. Keep up the great blog so all of us out here in blogland will have something to look forward to.! Gosh, I almost sound like I could be a stalker...

  4. I can only hope to have my house look like yours someday. I would love to see pictures of Aunt Chrissy's house if you think yours is so much worse!

  5. No matter how hard I try I can't get my house to look "perfect" either. So, I just stopped trying! Now.....if only I could get it to look clean!

    (I'm quietly crying with you!)

  6. I think the view from your happy chair looks great and I fall in love with that poppy artwork each time I see it!

    Great progress on the Diamonds!

  7. Decorate? Don't even know the word. Clean is as good as it gets around here.

  8. Coni,

    Your place is beautiful! I am so envious! What a gorgeous area to stitch with lots of light and lovely puppy dog too.

    I loved seeing your happy chair! :D Thank you for that. You make me crazy wishing I had a place of my own. (Live with the folks, still! Yay and Ugh at the same time! LOL)

    Quaker Diamonds looks scrumptious - and WHERE did you get those ORT jars??? It looks the perfect size for me to handle. :P

    And Coni, don't you fret hon, we love you just the way you are. You are a joy to read and know! :D

    Hugs to you and the Stewster!
    Jennifer H

  9. I have long admired the way you have that painting over the fireplace, your home is jealous and I am envious

  10. You have a very beautiful home and quite tastefully decorated. Some people tend to go a bit OVERboard with decorating. I say keep it simple...that is the best!

    As for little master Stewey, he'll get over it. No one likes change, and I believe he may have mentioned that a time or two.

  11. Coni,

    Check out the sale page at Page 5, half way down. Here's the link if it works.

    See the Jack Russel Terrier in cross stitch about half way down the page? When I saw it, I thought of Stewey. You would have to modify the coloring on the face, but you could do it. By the way, the house looks great. Do whatever you want with it. It's all yours!!!

  12. Geez! Just to have a happy chair would make me happy! Heck, I haven't even decorated for fall yet! All my 4th of July stuff is still up! I've tried to eek out for Sept with the mantle due to labor day being kinda picnicy stuff! hahaha
    Love your house, screw the rest! Tell Stewey at least he gets toys!

  13. There is visible floor in your home, and lots of lovely light - and you are complaining????
    Good Grief - your home is lovely and for the most part peaceful (sorry Stewey) Chuck a few more stitchy things around if you feel like it, but remember that more stuff around means more cleaning time instead of stitching time.
    Love the Poppy print. I look at my home and every flat surface is covered by .... stuff.
    Hugs!! Your home is lovely!

  14. Compared to my decorating scheme (early American pig)your house is more than lovely! I like white walls and never paint them (except white, of course).

    However, that being said, Halloween is my favorite holiday and I go all out with my decorating, inside and out!

    I look forward to reading your blog, it always brings a smile to my face and makes others wonder what I've been up to!

  15. Your home is beautiful...I agree with a previous commenter...we read so much about Aunt Chrissy's home and stitching...we would love to see some of her pictures to...maybe she could start blogging on weekends so we don;t have to wait those 2 days to hear from you??

  16. I agree with everyone else, your home looks terrific. I love the view from your happy chair. What a great place to sit!
    I look forward to reading your blog as it just makes my day!

  17. You, Coni, have a distinct advantage over most of the rest of us: you live alone (except for Stewey, of course). You can decorate however you please, and you don't have to worry about other family members disturbing what you have put out. Sometimes I feel like I spend most of my time cleaning up after everyone else. I agree with your readers who find simplicity, elegance and classic-ness (is that a word?) in your home. Enjoy it!

  18. We once had some friends called the Nolans. Their house was an empire of STUFF. There wasn't a surface that didn't have papers and magazines and clothes and dishes and bottles and and and...THINGS on it. Right now our house is Nolanized. The suitcases from our trip are still lounging around here and there. You can hardly open the front door because of the HUGE box sitting in front of it. If the dining room table has a surface I haven't seen it. Decorating? I still have my mother's cross stitched Christmas tree up from last Christmas.

    Your room is lovely. Light and clean. YOU CAN SEE THE FLOOR. Suck it up and accept some compliments.

  19. Who has a perfect house with gingerbread smells? If they have children, they don't have the time or are drinking their way through their Leave It To Beaver pretend life! That or lots of self medicating going on.

    I started with a 3 bedroom housenicely decorated, went to a 2 bedroom with a huge studio (perfect), and then moved backed to California. Space-challenged. Rooms became much smaller, more expensive, and beyond cramped. In the last move I was given the lving room (under duress) and my bedroom (I barely fit my bedroom furniture in it, and no place to put a thing. Really)as 'compensation' for taking care of my parents 24/7. Oh, and lets not forget the garage. That's where everything that isn't crammed into my 2 rooms is stored. They get the other 1800 square feet. There is a great kitchen in which I prepare fabulous meals whether I am deathly ill or not. Lots of good smells here. But I may start drinking at any moment!

    Anytime you want to come over is fine with me. But I think I would rather visit your wonderful airy, lighted, uncluttered home, Stewey, and roam in your back yard that does not appear to have drain holes all over where mosquitos gather all the time and make it impossible to go out in the back yard. West Nile, you know.

  20. I can never get my house to look "perfect" so have given up. I would love to have my house look as beautiful as yours. As for seasonal decorating I rarely succeed except at Christmas and even then everything seems to all end up in 1 or 2 rooms! I'm happy if I change the decorations on the front dooe each season! You are just the best!

  21. Your house is always beautiful. I live in an older trailer with dark paneling and it is cluttered. I look at your pics and sniffle, I want my house to look like that.

  22. I think your home is beautiful...and you said guest room somewhere in the post - it beats my decorating - so when can I stay? the lighting in your house and your stitching nest (aka happy chair) is the best!

  23. You have a gorgeous, gorgeous house. And you get to keep it however you (and Master Stewey) desire.

  24. where did you get the poppy artwork?

  25. Hello,
    I love your poppy artwork, wondering where you got it?