THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMMM.

Do you remember when Stewey decided that he was going to shoot photos of himself in contemplative poses and in artsy-fartsy lighting so that he would have something of significance for his portfolio? Well, moments ago I caught him in the living room with the digital camera on a tripod doing this:"I feel that the juxtaposition of light with the textural component of the wood grain on the floor lends itself to a more ascetically pleasing tableau and that it hyper-sensitizes one to my more gloriously fabulous side."

Now if I just knew what any of that meant I might be able to get on with my day without worrying that my dog is going to gas-light me into believing that he's smarter than I am. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I would have just opted for the more traditional Puppy School rather than the Montessori Academy for the Supremely Gifted and Precocious.

So my next wonder comes when I realize that I have been stitching Quaker Diamonds since August 12th and I'm not one bit bored by it yet. Is this some kind of record for me, or what? I don't think that I have ever worked on one project for this length of time without going into some kind of spastic 300-pound hummingbird routine of pulling everything out of my stash and bemoaning my lack of progress with the 8,000 half-completed projects. In short....what's up with that?!

Last night was the final piece of the puzzle with respects to the mess that is The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Aunt Chrissy and I watched it from our respective Happy Chairs, which meant that we were on the phone with one another during each and every commercial break giving our color commentary. We've come to the conclusion that Jacqueline effectively ended whatever good will she had established with Caroline and that Theresa never said the words "I'm sorry" because she really didn't have anything to apologize for and that Danielle is...well....I'll just leave it at that, since Mom told us to keep our potty mouths shut firmly if we didn't have something nice to say and that it was more ladylike to say "She's just not my cup of tea" rather than "I hate her guts enough that I want to rip her face off her head and drive over it with my car."

To counterbalance all of the BAD television I've watched, I started The West Wing again and am thrilled that I am understanding more than 31% of it this time. The only downside to watching this show obsessively is that it eliminates any tolerance you might have once had for bad writing, acting, and movie-making in general. We watched My Life in Ruins on Saturday night, and had it not been for the fact that we wanted to see where our grandfather lived as a boy, we would have picked up the phone and called Nia Vardalos directly and hollered at her for making such a ridiculously bad movie. I get that national and ethnic stereotypes can be cute and funny when they are caricatures of themselves, but Aunt Chrissy and I just didn't get the disgusting portrayal of Greek men. The only Greek men that we knew were our uncles...Connie, John, and Don....and not one of them remotely resembled any of the slobs that were in that movie. Our uncles were elegant, smart, devastatingly handsome, and passionate about family and beauty. I get that we might be alone in this assessment, but don't you think that movie could have been a really cute love story set among the beautiful ruins of Greece rather than an attempt to cash in on the popularity of My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Oey...makes me wonder how freakin' hard it is to write a decent screenplay.

So we're back to a Tuesday that feels like a Monday and this means that I'm wrestling with laundry and housecleaning today. As you can tell from the length of today's drivel, I am doing everything necessary to postpone said laundry and housecleaning so that the clock will tell me that "it's just too darn late in the day to start anything that labor intensive" and I'll have a nap and then some stitchy time before dinner.

I hope that you all had a wonderful weekend and that you're off to do whatever it is you want to do today!