Jan 15, 2010


My mo-ther can't come to the blog right now. I've dispatched her to the garage with some sensible shoes and a to do list. (I demanded the sensible shoes because she normally scuffles around the house in her bedroom slippers, and I just can't take the sight of them one minute longer.)

Here's what's on her TO DO list:

  1. Take down all of the Christmas decorations.
  2. Retrieve the appropriate storage receptacles from the garage and then insert said Christmas decorations into said receptacles.
  3. Organize the garage shelves where said receptacles are stored.
  4. Fluff up the guest room, dust and sweep it thoroughly, and remove excess crap from the bed. (This is in the event that my Aunt Chrissy wants to come over for a marathon Stitchy/West Wing evening.)
  5. Clean the guest bath, since I've decided to creep in there every now and then (and you never know what will be lurking for you on the rug).
  6. Do the laundry. All of it.
  7. Put the laundry away. All of it.
  8. Change our bed. (I really mean it, mo-ther. I demand freshly pressed bed linens or I'm going to find a new place to snuggle at night.)
  9. Dust. Everything.
  10. Clean the floors. All of them. Especially the area around the drapes.
  11. Wash the drapes. Again.
  12. Fix me a snack and put my Prince blanket back on my perch. (Might I suggest boef bourguignon and a sassy little Chianti?)
  13. Shovel the ice off of the front walkway so that the UPS man won't sue you when he hurts an ACL slipping his way to the front door to deliver something stitchy that you ordered but didn't need and promised you wouldn't buy now that your needlework stash is valued at a dollar figure more than the home in which we live.
  14. Take a shower, shave those legs, and do something about that unsightly mustache that makes me want to say "MISTER Mommie, I presume?"
  15. Give me cookies. Lots of them.

I, of course, will be camped out on my perch watching the squirrels eat the sunflower seeds out of the bird feeders. Damn squirrels.

Here's my list for the day:

  1. Nap.
  2. Stretch and yawn.
  3. Watch the damn squirrels.
  4. Nap some more.
  5. Pee on drapes.
  6. Eat cookies.

I do hope that your day is as productive as I'm sure my mo-ther's will be. (What can I say? If she doesn't get up off of her big fat heiney and do what I've asked methinks there will be consequences that she'll find most unpleasant.)

Stitch something fabulous!
With love from your pal,


  1. Man! Stewey, you are a tough task master! Maybe you could threaten me a little because I need some motivation to finish taking down and putting away the Christmas stuff too!

  2. Actually, the answer, as I have just discovered again, is to have overnight guests. You'ld NEVER allow guests into the "normal" messiness we all live in.
    Ergo my solution...Company at least once a month!
    The rest of the time is for relaxing with a good stitch!

  3. ah, my christmas decorations have been down and put away now for weeks!

    you are really cracking that whip! i think i'd just sit and stitch...WAY, OH WAY too much for one person to have to do!!! esp. by their self!!!

    coni, if you don't get it all done in one day, have stewey finish up tomorrow! :)

  4. Wow, Stewey can she come to my house next. I promise to feed you wonderful treats if you let her come clean my house too.

  5. That sounds like a day of not stitching to me. That won't do. But laundry is important, so I guess some time will have to be sacrificed. You could always do your bit Stewey, by not shedding or peeing on drapes.

  6. Now, now Stewey. Aren't you being a little harsh on Mommy? I mean if you want all those cookie snack then she will need a break.

    How about half the list today and the rest tomorrow? Or she will be soooooooooo tired she may not be able to move to make your dinner?

    (who is also owned by a rather demanding D-o-g.)

  7. Geez Louise! See, Stewey, your To Do List is why cats are preferred to dogs. Not that my boys don't have a list:

    Feed me
    Clean litter box

    That's it - that's all they expect of me. You be nice to Mommie or she might get you a cat!

    I think your Mommie should make you clean the drapes and floor... you made the mess, you clean it!

  8. Hmmmmmm..this list seems a little lopsided, don't you think, Stewmaster????

    Maybe you could help out a little by not peeing on the drapes :)

  9. Wow! That is quite the list. I am sure the house will be spic and span when the list is finished, but Mommie may not be in the best mood! You should have a glass of Chianti waiting for HER when she is done! And a cookie or five. mmm, cookies.

  10. Whoa, Stewey! I didn't quite hear the crack of your whip from way out west, but I'll bet your mommie sure did.

  11. Stewy you crack me up! I hope your mother listens to you. When she is all done with your list maybe she can have a great stitchy weekend!


  12. Wow Stewey the taskmaster! You could help your mother's cause and ease her workload if you would just leave the damn drapes alone and stay out of the guest bath!

  13. You are quite the slave driver, Stewey! If she gets all that done, she gets a star for the day!

  14. As your mo-ther would say, man o'man a chevitz, Stewey, your list makes me tired just reading it. I hope you reward your mo-ther with some cute poses and cuddles when she finishes her work! Please remember that she is merely human, not dog, and may have trouble living up to your high standards.


  15. wow Stewey, you are a slavedriver. I sure hope she isn't too tired to stitch tonight.

  16. Whoa Stewey, what are you thinking?? Your mo-ther is a human-not a machine. Perhaps you could do your part-not peeing on the drapes and not leaving "surprises" in the guest bath.
    And all work and no play makes mo-thers CRANKY-so don't say I didn't warn you.

  17. Maybe Momster should just REMOVE the drapes and just become a la naturalllll. I love having no drapes or curtains across all three sides on my house ... and lace curtains across the front. Course it heps that I am 100' back form the street buyt it's not like I walk around (OMGosh!) Nakid! No no oh no nononono!

  18. Wow Stewey I knew you'd get back at your Mo-ther on taking those pictures of you.

  19. Hey Stewey, show Mo-ther who is boss! Stomp those little paws just a little louder!

  20. Stewey, does your mo-ther have to do all of this? All in the same day?

  21. Master Stewey I think you need to roll up the sleeves on your little smoking jacket and help your poor mother! And make sure you share some cookie breaks with your mother too.

  22. Quite an impressive list. Your mommie's list that is, lol. Poor Coni.

  23. Hey Stewey, get a life...or better yet, learn how to change the sheets yourself. Has your mother not explained that dust is a protective covering for the furniture? Even Lester (and he's a pug, not known for massive brain power) knows better than to interrupt my stitching groove.

  24. I think Stewey has been looking through the computer at my house...and I am going to stitch ...I feel lucky and will take my chances