Jan 29, 2010


My mom can't come to the blog right now. Truth is, she's driving me nuts today with her pacing about the house. When I ask her what's wrong, she says "Stewey Darling, Mummie feels like half crap today."

First of all, may I just point out that she's taken to calling herself "Mummie"? I'm not buying it one little bit. She is Mom, Mommie, Mommie Dearest, or Mo-ther. Period. And, until she buys me a First Class airplane ticket so that I might actually visit the land of my ancestry where they DO call their adult women people Mum, I'm not playing along.

Apparently half-crap means that she doesn't feel bad enough to go pull the covers over her head, but she doesn't feel well enough to be upright and/or productive. I suspect that it has something to do with her lady time, but given the hysterics that topic brings up around here, I'd rather just say "she has a touch of the flu" and get on with it.

I knew she wasn't faking it when she awoke and headed straight for the thermostat to ratchet it up to a whopping 64 degrees. 64! Imagine my delight when I realized that it might actually get warm enough in here now to melt the little icicle that's been dangling from the tip of my peenie. I'm all for staying comfortable, but my stupid mo-ther's idea of comfortable is a meat locker. So when she decided to crank the heat up today because "her bones were cold" I knew something must be amiss.

Now before y'all go off half-cocked and write comments telling me to be nice to my mommie today, may I just point out that I am the one who heads into the bedroom every afternoon and stands patiently at the side of the big girl sleigh bed until somebody gets a clue and comes for a nap? Might I also point out that I am lobbying fiercely for an electric kettle so that I can finally make the old lady a proper cup of tea each afternoon? And, for the record, I am also the one who calls my Aunt Chrissy when I suspect that Mom is lonely, and good 'ol Aunt Chrissy comes over armed with my smelly little cousin and sitchy gossip.

So don't you dare judge me, Argentina. I do a pretty OK job of being nice when I have to.

There wasn't any stitching last night. I know that Mo-ther is determined to get that damn LHN ornament finished this weekend, but I still don't think it's supposed to be an ornament. At five inches square, methinks it will be much too large for the crappy little tree that we normally have. If she does carry through and stitch all of these things this year, maybe it will prompt her to pull out the big 'ol nine footer and we will have a proper tree for once! (Oh, if wishes made it so!)

I'm off to the bird feeders. I decided to give up my attack on the squirrels, and I've been experimenting with a few different recipes to see what they like best. Turns out, the little buggers will eat ANYTHING, so I'm going to order some more black sunflower seeds and be done with it. They just didn't seem to appreciate my cooking or baking skills, so I'm going to throw in the towel and feed them like the filthy little rodents they are.

We're off to the weekend! I am hoping that we get some West Wing viewing time in. We're almost finished with the fourth season, and despite the absence of Rob Lowe, I'm enjoying most of the plot lines immensely.

Cheerio! Stay warm and safe and dry and stitch/quilt/make/bake/eat something fabulous!

With love from your friend,


  1. I hope Mommie is feeling better soon and that you DO get some of your wishes, especially the electric teakettle, because nothing more brings me comfort than a cup of something hot. Have a great weekend, Stewey!

  2. Do take care of your mother! So glad to hear though that you are getting to thaw out some icicle issues!

    Enjoy your weekend!

  3. Coni -- it's all that laundry. So glad you surfaced! Half-crap is so much better than whole-crap but I hope you are feeling better by the weekend!

  4. Poor Stewey! Freezing your little tush off! I once read an amusing story about someone having a mouse in the cabinet under the sink. The homeowners were frugal and kept the heat at a blistering 60. Visitors remarked that the poor little mouse certainly wasn't coming inside to get warm! I think I'll go fix a cup of tea and send warm wishes your way!

  5. Stewey, I think your mommy dearest may need some serious stitching and cuddling time this weekend to make her feel all better. All of us in blogland are counting on you to take care of your mom.

    Years ago I kept an electric kettle by my bed. Every night I plugged the freshly filled kettle into a timer set so I could enjoy a freshly brewed cup of tea in bed before I had to start preparing for work. What bliss! How warming on a cold winter day! I may need to revive that practice...

    Anne (whose children would love to see the thermostat hit 64)

  6. Stewey, you are so unbelievably cute! (:

    As for you Mommie, I'm new to this blogging world, although I have been reading your blog for some time. Your humor is absolutely hysterical! I love your gorgeous counted canvases.


  7. Dear Stewey, please let your mommie know that I accidently found her blog in a very lousy day for me - and since then, reading the archives has kept me going. Honestly, I think that if weren't you and Coni, I would have cried a lot that day. So let her know she made someone else happy in a sad moment (not that horrible, but I was feeling down, so...). I guess that will bring her spirit up again. And the thermostat.
    If that won't do, just call Aunt Chrissy.

  8. Dear Spinster, You should know that a table full of stitchers had today's Stewey comments read to them so that they could laugh at a certain descriptive word. Thank you for making our Homestead stitch in a lot sillier than usual! Theresa

  9. Stewey, you could always wear a jacket around the house (not a frou-frou smoking jacket, a proper woolley one). As a woman of 'a certain age' I agree with the lowering of the thermostat...my husband has also complained his 'parts' are cold on occasion.

    Feel better soon Coni...hot tea, cold OJ and coddling will do the trick!

  10. You do a wonderful job, Stewey. Please pass along my best wishes for general feeling-betterness to you mOmmie. :D

  11. Hi Coni...I love West Wing...everytime you mention it in a post I have to watch some episodes again. Have you seen Commander in Chief. It was a brilliant show, would have last more than 1 season if the network hadn't kept moving its time slot about.