WHY I'LL NEVER GET A JOB DECORATING DEPARTMENT STORE WINDOWS, OR HOW I MANAGED TO SCREW IT ALL UP AGAIN THIS YEAR

My dog can't come to the blog right now. He's too busy throwing a major pout over our Christmas decorations (or lack thereof). I finally got so tired of hearing his bitching and moaning and kvetching that I broke down and threw some more stuff around the house to shut him up, but I think we're in for a loooooong winter:

"Why can't my stupid mom realize that if she doesn't get her head out of her a.. Santa Claus will miss us completely. I've already pooped on the guy. How much more can we get away with in one year?"

I've been stitching away on Rayond Crawford's Merry Christmas (the mystery class I'm taking from Bedecked and Beadazzled). I finally started to attach the bling:

Sorry for the ridiculously craptastic pic, but I've been so busy decorating the house for Christmas that I haven't had time to read the instruction manual that came with the digital camera. (Oh, I'm sorry. Was that snarky?) (She says, while smirking madly and chortling like a fiend.)

This is a new little Jim Shore that I bought myself over at the Hallmark Store. He sits next to my stitchy chair and I tell him all of my secret wishes for the holiday:

Next is my 2009 Jim Shore Santa gift from Aunt Chrissy. She got so desperate to see a little festivity around here that she gave it to me three weeks early with the hope that I would get my act together. (Note to self: Must not let Aunt Chrissy and Stewey talk privately anymore.)

Finally, here's the fabulous tableau that I put together in the wee hours of the morning. As you can see, I took the extra six minutes to fluff the garland before I threw it on the sofa table. Not bad for an amateur, eh?

I suppose that I should explain that this decorating situation is quite abnormal for me. From my student days on, I always went out of my way to tart my house up for the holidays, and I even went so far as to purchase a nine-footer one year. (What can I say? I lived in a condo with ceilings that were about eighteen stories high, and I had visions of a really really tall tree.)

Anywhoose...it seems that my mojo has been lacking for the last few years, so I suppose that I had better remedy that situation quickly, or I will be minus one very peeved little dog. For all the love and attention he gives me throughout the year, I suppose it's the least I can do for him. I mean, after all...he doesn't ask for much....just his own blog, car, room, bath, bed, TeeVee, silk smoking jacket, cigar humidor, blonde bombshell "friend", and social secretary on call 24/7. What's a few shiny ornaments thrown in for good measure?

Damn dog.

Here's hoping that you're having more luck with your own celebrations this year! I suppose a hearty Happy Chris-ma-kwan-za-ka covers most of the bases, so Happy Chrismakwanzaka!