Apr 26, 2009


Since y'all have commented about the picture over my fireplace, I suppose I should tell you how it came to be.

I'm famous for getting an idea in my head and then not shutting up about it until I get what I want. I am rather impatient that way. I'm also rather impulsive, which means that I am known to make ridiculous decisions on a moment's notice just because "I felt like it".

Aunt Chrissy and I were shopping in Bed, Bath, and Freakin' Beyond a while ago for nothing in particular (well, actually we were probably looking for things for her house, but what fun is THAT?), and I spotted a lovely floral painting that I thought would look just fabulous in my bedroom. I loved the fact that it was large and colorful and that it would be the perfect thing to lay my weary eyes on first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

So without any thought process whatsoever, I loaded the thing into the cart (actually, I probably made Aunt Chrissy carry it because that's the kind of girl I am), and headed to the register. Turns out it was on sale so much that they were practically paying me to take it (at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

Just as I was feeling all smug and self-satisfied, Aunt Chrissy gives me a look and says "How the hell do you think you're going to get that thing home?"

Silly me. I forgot that Sophia was a little sports car and not, sadly, a flat bed cargo truck. (Sophia was my previous car. She was a navy blue little Cadillac CTS with tan leather interior and I loved her. Yes, I name my cars. Let it go.)

(My current car is named Gia, by the way. I've also had a Birdie, a Beatrice, and an Olive, but those are stories for other days.) Back to our story...

Well, because I have a head like a rock, and because I'm the matriarch of our stupid little family, I made Aunt Chrissy stand there with the painting until I had grunted myself into a full flop sweat trying to figure out how the heck I was going to wedge this thing into the back seat.

Alas, it was not to be.

So we left the painting with the lovely kids at Customer Service and headed to Aunt Chrissy's house to pick up her SUV. (Sadly, this is the vehicle that she rolled four times and planted in a corn field a few years ago during an accident, so we don't have any names for her. We are, however, eternally in her debt and will always think of her fondly.)

We made it back to the store in about five minutes (we live just a mile or so away), and just as I was thinking that this was going to be easy (you can see this coming, can't you?), it started to rain. Hard. Ridiculously big huge fat raindrops that came at us from every direction.

I couldn't quite fit the picture in the back of her SUV properly, so I somehow convinced my grown-ass woman of a sister to get inside, lay on her stomach, and then reach up over and behind her head to hold onto the painting (while laying face down just inches from the pavement)...with the back hatch door wide open.

Let me summarize for you....."Coni Jo, I swear, if I live through this I will never forget that you made me lie face down in the back of my own car while driving home in a rainstorm holding a gd picture that you will probably decide you don't want anyways because you're so freakin' impulsive that you get these stupid hare-brained ideas at the worst possible times and then you involve me because I was stupid enough to be born your little sister and if I weren't related to you you would never dream of asking me to do half of the the stupid things I do for you and why can't we ever go out in the day time when it's not raining and do things like normal adult people who have some damn sense instead of a couple of doofus heads who are dumb enough to do crap that will probably end up with them getting seriously hurt or worse yet they'll ruin some piece of important property and then they'll end up in jail where there will be no television and they won't be allowed to stitch."

And then we got home.

I took the painting out, hung it up in the bedroom and have loved it ever since. I rotate it into the living room a few times a year so that I can enjoy it, and the big ass pear picture that normally hangs over the fireplace doesn't mind going into the bedroom one little bit.

Do you think now would be a good time to tell Aunt Chrissy that I'm thinking about buying a new mattress and box springs?


  1. I love your stories (poor Chrissy!) They always bring a smile to my day.

    The painting looks wonderful.

  2. I just love your brand of craziness!

  3. Go ahead and tell her. After all, you are the oldest which makes you Queen.

    Hugs from the oldest sibling in CH, laughing and wiping tears from my eyes

  4. That garden gate is so lovely :D

  5. I would have loved to have been the car behind Chrissy's SUV - I wonder what they thought? LOL

  6. Oh Lord. Have your new bed delivered or Chrissy might poke your eye out!

  7. I have a feeling Chrissy will be out of town when you buy the new mattress and box spring lol

  8. No, no. Spring it on her. She seems to enjoy it more that way. And then you can tell us another fantastic story.

  9. Love the new picture at the top of your blog! The Ort Retrospective, I believe you called it.

    And from the last post, your home is truly welcoming.

  10. Gosh! I wish my YOUNGER sisters lived closer so I could boss them the way you do your sister. But, I am the "nice" sister and they always end up bossing me. You do make me laugh though. BTW, did you ever finish the daisy piece by LJP? I broke down and bought it after I saw your piece. Jane is not the only enabler in the cyberworld.

  11. No no no! Don't tell Aunt Chrissy about the mattress and bed - I want to hear the story.
    AND what happened to Miss Lilly Frog and your wonderful Daisy piece- these unfinished stories cause me lose sleep so come on 'fess up with some photos!

  12. From one impulsive buyer to another, I understand. I once had a store strap a table on top of my car and drove an hour home on the highway with the table moving around. I took another look at your flower picture and now I want it!

  13. I've got to stop drinking my morning Pepsi when I am reading your latest story.

    I can't see too much through the spots on my screen anymore, (and don't have the proper cleaner to clean the darn thing), and my keyboard is so sticky, I'm having to go back and correct more typos than normal.

    I also get the hiccups from trying to swallow when I am laughing. .but don't change one bit! I'll happily change my ahem, drinking habits, to better enjoy your adventures!

    And no, I wouldn't spring the mattress and box spring idea on her without taking her to lunch first. .preferably someplace that is dark, so that you can't see her face when you suggest it, and that serves alcohol! Not too much that she isn't any help, but just enough that she will think it is fun! lol

  14. These kinds of shopping adventures are my favorite! My mom and sister and I have all kinds of shopping stories, many of which involve toddlers screaming like they're being tortured. Good times.

  15. LOL!! Poor Aunt Chrissy. I can just picture (no pun intended) her hanging out of the back of the car. The painting is lovely!

    Doesn't everybody name their cars? Right now I have Roxanne, and before her was Brenda, Erin, Gloria, Esmerelda, and I think my old Villager was called Brunhilde. I go with female names because women work harder. It's a proven fact. The only car I had that had a male name was the car my husband chose when we first moved here, that I absolutely hated. We called it The Junk Mobile for awhile, till he got mad, and then we decided to name it Leroy. Perhaps the fact that the car had a male name is the reason why it would stall at very inopportune times & not respond to mechanic's visits.

    Love your SB & Traveling Stitcher!

  16. Too funny! Tell Chrissy, I can relate, I'm the younger sister that gets bossed around by the older sister!!

    good luck on the new mattress and box spring!