Oct 30, 2008


I give you Exhibit A:This is my stitching light. Now before you get all superior-like and tell me that that is NOT a stitching light, but rather a re-purposed desk light...I know. But I love this light. I have stitched with this light since the day I started stitching. It looks ridiculous in my living room, and I don't care. It's my stitching light.

You might also notice my glasses in the pic (they're on top of the canvas). These are "cheaters" that I purchased at Borders with a 40% off coupon and I love them. They make me look interesting. And very very smart.

You wanna' know how smart I am?

I set my hair on fire tonight with my stitching light and my spiffy glasses. Yes. That's right. Hair. On. Fire.

When you were a little kid, did you ever take a magnifying glass outside and set ants on fire? (Of course you didn't, but you heard about it, right?) Well, if you understand that concept (which apparently, I did not), you can achieve the very same results with a desk lamp and some 2.0 magnifying glasses parked on top of your head because you just had to watch the last four minutes of "Lipstick Jungle" without the distraction of glasses on your nose.

Please allow me to summarize: Sniff sniff. What the $#* !!! Stewey, Mommie's on FIRE! Quick, Stewey, call 9-1-1 just like they taught you in Puppy School! Oh wait, what am I talking about? You flunked Puppy School because you simply refused to remove yourself from being attached to my neck and you thought the other puppies were smelly and ill-mannered. Water! I need to put water on the fire! Oh why can't I have my usual glass of water on the table?! Why did I have to decide to stop drinking water after 6pm because I'm so tired of getting up to pee every six minutes during the night! Oh no! I was going to color my hair this weekend! I wonder if the FIRE will affect the ability for the color to get rid of the grey! FIRE! I! AM! ON! FIRE!

So I ran into the kitchen and stuck my head under the faucet for a full ten minutes. Crisis over, but the smell will linger, I'm sure.
"Mommie? Can I go live with Aunt Chrissy? I don't think this is a very good situation for me. Besides, when you go into assisted living, I want to make sure that somebody is managing the estate properly. I already know you're blowing my college fund on stitching, so perhaps this would be best."


  1. OH I hope it wasn't too bad. I'm so sorry but the way you write I am ROTFLMAO !!!! I really do hope you are okay.

  2. That will teach me to drink coffee whilst reading your blog - it is now all over the computer!
    I thank you, and Mr. Stewey, for all you go through to keep your public amused... :)

  3. Sounds like you will need a trim before you get a colour! Glad you are ok.

    My friend nearly set her living room alight by leaving a magnifier, without its cover, attached to her stand in a sunny window. Maybe stitching should come with a hazard warning?

  4. So very, very funny, but I'm glad you're ok. And I hope Stewey will stay with you because you might need him to watch out for you!

  5. Oh, my God, that was hysterical. Glad you are ok, and that no stitching was negatively affected by this experience!


  6. My first reaction - oh my gosh, I hope you're okay!?

    My second reaction - to let out a loud giggle which hasn't impressed the dog because I startled her from a nap and I am now being subjected to "the look" :)

  7. Yes, some lamps get very hot. Sorry about your hair, but youraccount is hilarious.

  8. I wish I had been a fly on the wall to see all this happening in real time (grinning).

    That leaves you thinking though, doesn't it? Danger lurking everywhere no matter what you do or don't do :-(

    I certainly would never have thought that stitching was just so darn dangerous :-(

    Glad you are ok :-)

    Pierrette =^..^=

  9. That is truly a cautionary tale. I will pass this one to those I know you use reading glasses.

  10. Bless your heart! I am glad that you and Stewey weren't hurt. This reminds me of an unfortunate incident during sorority rush pref night in college when another girl's hair caught fire (mid 1980s...big hair.. lots of hairspray...singing sappy rush songs in the front yard to rushees with lit candles...end of week with little sleep...sway a little...oops). Not a pleasant smell! Maybe you can light some scented candles...or maybe not on more fire! :)

    P.S. Let me know if you missed anything on Lipstick Jungle. I'll try to catch you up. Is that Kirby divine or what?!

  11. ROFL! I'm sorry to chuckle at your pyro-pilo adventure (I'm sure you know pyro=fire...pilo=hair), but that's darn funny. I can only imagine what that would have looked like to a casual observer. :-)

    PS...another "Lipstick Jungle" watcher! I was beginning to think I was the only one.

  12. Hilarious account but I am sorry that happened to you!! I needed a good laugh this morning and am glad I was drinking anything! A friend of mine had her magnifier over her pine table and the sun hit it and burned a hole in the table top. We all use covers now when not in use, but that would not have helped you!

  13. I am so sorry about your hair but I have this mental picture and my sides hurt from laughing. I love your blog.

  14. That's a winning story...I think you should turn it in to Readers Digest or something and get some money out of it :)

  15. Oh. My. God. That is HILARIOUS!!! And who knew Lipstick Jungke could be so entrancing? (But I am pleased to know there are other watchers out there - I love the show and I'm so afraid it's going to get cancelled, though I fear moving it to Friday nights spells its impending demise.)

  16. So glad you're okay! I about fell off my chair laughing when I read the account of your misadventure.

  17. I didn't realize cross stitching was a dangerous hobby. You gave me a good chuckle, but I'm glad you're OK. I guess you're not flame-retardant!

  18. Wow! I'm sorry to laugh at your hair being set on fire, but that was the best belly laugh I've had all day. I have that SAME desk light (love it!) and used it to stitch with until I realized how darn hot it was making me! Hope your hair is OK!

  19. Hi Coni,


    But I'm glad to hear that you are okay!

    Windy Meadow

  20. snorted tea through my nose reading that
    sorry about the singed tresses
    but oh so funny
    i have tears in my eyes
    love it

  21. I'm glad you are O.K., but your posts always make me laugh. This one was a gem!

  22. Oh my gosh, I almost fell off of my chair laughing! Hope your hair makes a full recovery!