Oct 21, 2016

BIT OF A ROUGH DAY, BUT WE'RE STILL HERE

Stewey's leg worsened overnight, so we made a trip to see Dr. Niemann first thing this morning.  Unfortunately, it appears that the tumor is growing and his poor skin is starting to abscess from the pressure of it.  He's not in pain and does not seem to be too bothered by it, but I'm afraid that I will have to let him go in these next few weeks.  

My instinct was to come home, crawl in bed, and just bawl the day away, but somehow my car turned itself toward campus instead.  Before I knew it, Stewey and I were sitting at the Grotto with our faces in the sun, watching the people come and go and the flickering of the candles.  We lit one too and prayed that we would both be brave and peaceful as we touched the stone from Lourdes.  It was the most quiet hour my heart has felt since July.

I wish I could tell you that I am strong and calm and hanging in there, but I seem to be in a little bubble of shock that makes me want to freeze time and never get to the point where I have to make that decision.  Everyone tells me that I will know when it's right, but all I know right now is that I am just not ready to lose him.

So we're going to take our meds and wash our boo boos and keep them clean and hang out in the Happy Chair and eat turkey bacon.  We're watching lots of movies and reading lots of stories, and I am trying my best to remember all of the stuff I want Stewey to tell my mom and dad when he finally leaves me and goes to them.  Crazy, isn't it?  Me imagining my Stewey Little in his little smoking jacket and cravat noodging my mom for a kiss or cuddling with my dad on a football Saturday.

Oh well, whatever gets us through, I suppose.

Progress continues on Vaceila.  I'll have updates for you in the next few days.  In the meantime, do something wonderful and come tell us all about it and have a fabulous weekend!






73 comments:

  1. I know there is nothing that can make you feel better right now, but I just want to say that when I had to say goodbye to my precious Reggie it happened so quickly, I had no warning and basically took him to the emergency vet and had to make that decision quickly. I would have given anything to have known ahead of time, so I could have had special days with him, to cuddle more, give him more treats, etc. I hope it gives you some comfort to know that you have had many weeks to give him your undivided attention and love. I'm praying for you and Stewey, you are on my mind everyday. I hope he will let you know when the time is right ((((hugs))))

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  2. My heart breaks for you. I have been through this so many times and there is nothing that makes it easy. Your love for each other will live on forever. Enjoy every second you have left. BIG HUG

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  3. I'm so sorry for these hard times you are going through. Hang in there.

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  4. I am so sorry you and Stewy are having to prepare for this journey. You, letting go. Stewey, moving to that rainbow bridge. I am keeping you both in my prayers and sending a warm blanket of comfort and peace to cover you both.

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  5. All I can say is I am thinking of you and Stewey,I have been,like so many others,where you both are but each of us is individual so our experiences are different and personal as are our memories.Please take care of you as well as your beloved Stewey.

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  6. Dear Coni and Stewey,you are in my thoughts and in my heart.

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  7. Coni and Stewey my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

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  8. Dear Coni, I haven't been commenting on your blog but I have been following. My heart just aches for you. Stewey is so special and so loved. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

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  9. Lovely picture of you two. My heart goes out to you.

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  10. My heartfelt thoughts are with Stewey and you. I have had this experience and know that I will have to suffer through it again with my precious babes once they reach that time in our lives. Just know that you and Stewey are not alone and we pray for good times for both of you.

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  11. So very sorry that the prognosis for Stewey was not better. It's such a hard time, I've been through it and my heart goes out to you. You're both in my thoughts, far away in Normandy xx

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  12. Thank you for the picture-the love you share is a wonderful thing and a reminder to all of us why we have pets.

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  13. (((((((Coni and Stewey)))))). I have no words of wisdom that will lessen the pain but you are both in heart and prayers.

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  14. Such a beautiful picture of you two, God bless you both

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  15. Sweet little Stewey. I wish I could hug you both.

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  16. I am so sorry, love Stewie and hug him and he will be with you always....

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  17. Hugs and strength for you both.

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  18. You can see the love on both your faces. <3 Hug for you and a hug for Stewey, you two were meant to be together.

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  19. Coni, you and Stewey have been on my mind today. Sending gentle hugs to both of you. Have a peaceful weekend!

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  20. My beautiful Belle developed bladder cancer and we had to put her down over Labor Day weekend. Fortunately we knew it was coming and had a week to spend with her, giving her extra treats, letting her go visit the people at the nursing home one more time and going for a last long walk (with even a little quarter mile jog to remember our miles of running). It was hard, but it was the right thing. Your picture reminds me of the two of us that last week. ((Hugs)) to you and Stewey.

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  21. We lost one of our beloved cats this summer...and I'm sitting here crying with love for him and in sympathy for you and Stewey. I'm not sure it helps to know other people know exactly how you feel. . . but we certainly do.

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  22. DearConi, I have been in the same place you are now. Both times I knew I had to let go. I made an appointment with the Vet both times and found that it was an easier way to let my precious babies leave me. So many of us will cry with you and ache. Our fur babies will greet Stewey Over Rainbow Bridge. No words can really help you but we're trying our best. Hugs to both of you.

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  24. I am so sorry. I went through this 7 years ago with my beloved dog and not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Stewey will be with you always. Sending love and hugs to both of you, and the strength for you to get through this.

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  25. Oh Coni, we've been there and know your pain, anxiety, and fear. It's horrible for us, it's relief to our babies. We had a mobile vet come to our home, knowing it would be easier for her, and that we would be in no condition to drive home. The pain is unbearable, but is outweighed by the years of unconditional love, laughs, and cuddles.

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  26. Oh dear, I'm crying already. I know how heart breaking this is for you. As you know we just went through this recently. All I can do send you both hugs across the miles and continued prayers.

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  27. I have been reading your blog but not commenting. I get such a kick out of you and Stewey. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I too have been there with beloved fur babies. Take your cues from Stewey. He will tell you in his way that it is time. My thoughts and prayers. You do beautiful needlework.

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  28. When I think of you and Stewey I picture two pals supporting each other through difficult times. You are true comrades.

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  29. I love your blog, your humor, your stitching, and your sweet Stewey. Your photo together is gorgeous. You are blissfully loving each other. I'm a dog lover, and have been where you are several times. I know your heart aches, but love will get you through. Stewey needs to feel your strength so he can go through his final time here peacefully. Enjoy every minute with him. He's darling! Prayers to you both.

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  30. I keep you both in my prayers for strength and comfort on this journey. There are never the right words to say - blessings on both of you as you shared a wonderful life with each other that will never end in your heart and it is my greatest hope that you will meet again in your time.

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  31. I can add nothing to the heartfelt comments already made except my prayers and thoughts are with you both.

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  32. How lucky you both were to find each other and build a whole lifetime of memories. The love you feel for each other will never ever go away. But this is so so hard, my heart cries with you both. Breathe him in Coni, hold him close, that's just what he's doing with you. Xxx

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  33. gorgeous picture of you both and glad you have a bit longer to make those memories ... had a giggle at him being in his jkt talking away to your mum and dad , it was a lovely image :) take care ((( hugs))) love mouse xxxx

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  34. That photos says it all. Love, prayers & blessings to both of you.

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  35. Prayers for you and Stewey. I'm so sorry you and your beloved pet have to go down this road. Luv MaryO

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  36. Prayers for you and Stewey. I'm so sorry you and your beloved pet have to go down this road. Luv MaryO

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  37. Sharing your sadness and sending you both lots of love. Thank you for the picture. You are both in my heart.

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  38. My thoughts are with you, all pet guardians have gone through this. My advise, my first cat as an adult had mouth cancer, I never thought about it until the day came when I knew what had to be done. It actually made it easier, enjoy your time together now. Laying in from of a fire ,well fed and loved who could ask for more.

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  39. Praying for peace and sending much love to you and Stewey. Cuddle and love on him as much as you can.
    When you let him go and he crosses over on his way to your Mom and Dad, please have him stop and tell my Mighty Joe that I love him and miss him.

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  40. {{{Hugs}}} That's such a sweet picture.

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  41. Thinking of you both. Darling picture.

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  42. Dearest Coni,
    Stewey will let you know. My vet once told me that the first thing our pets say on the other side is "Thank you." Your mom will snuggle with him and he will regale her with the stories of all of his antics with you.
    Peace, Jenn

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  43. I have bee following your life's adventure for many years with delight. You will know when it is time, and Stewie will let you know too. Peace to you both.

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  44. Thinking of you both Coni. That's a gorgeous photo.

    Alison

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  45. You're in our thoughts here. We know how hard this transitioning period can be. :(

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  46. Wow Coni, I think this is the first time you've included yourself in a photo, and what a beautiful photo. Stewey is one very happy pup.

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  47. That would have to be the most beautiful photo that you have ever shared.

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  48. Sending many hugs and prayers for you and Stewey! I remember the day you brought him home, and the love that you two shared will last you all of your life. I just wanted to let you know my heart is breaking for you, and you still have a very special place in my HEART! Frame that picture of the two of you for a lifetime of wonderful memories.xo

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  50. Beautiful picture. Keeping both you and Stewey in my thoughts and prayers.

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  51. I always read your blog and never comment. I love your writing and am envious of how you can write funny...which I can't do. But I have to chime in to say Hubby and I both are sad for you and your little dog. You are so lucky to have each other, true companions. Try to be brave.

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  52. First of all, Coni, beautiful photo of you and Stewey. So sweet. Love Stewey fiercely and take care of yourself. And make no apologies to anyone for doing either of the above. Surround yourself with people that truly understand what you are going through right now and will go through in the future. Never apologize for truly loving someone.

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  53. My heart is sad for you and Mr. Stewey.

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  54. Hugs to you and a little scratch behind the ear for Stewey.

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  55. Lovely picture. Such a tough thing to go through. I will be thinking of you

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  56. Oh Coni, I am so sad for both you and sweet Stewey...I am saying many prayers and sending many hugs.

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  57. With tears in my eyes I write to you. To loose a best friend ,a parent a sibling Is a that is so intense you think you will never survive. Stewey your littlest buddy will always be with you . He will run and meet your parents and bark on all four legs. He will jump over creeks and play in meadows. He will soak up the sun. He also will lead you to a new little best friend. Someone you will love, not like the love you have for Stewey, but the love you have to give. Coni, the world has changed so much that I can feel your pain through a computer without ever meeting you. Just know we are all out here for you and Stewey. Heaven will sing when he joins them .❤️

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  58. I am another one who reads your blog and never comments. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. Just know there are many who are out here praying for you and Stewey.

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  59. Much love and comfort to both of you.

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  60. Oh Connie, my heart breaks for you. Having just gone through this with my beautiful Sadie, I know how difficult it is to watch your little love slow down. She also had a rapidly growing tumor in her leg. I had to make the very difficult decision to let Sadie go in August. Like so many before me have said, you'll know when the time is right... Stewey will let you know, like Sadie let me know.

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  61. Loving thoughts to both of you....

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  62. I pray you will carry your Grotto experience with you throughout this time of bonding and letting go with Stewey and make that place the touchstone of these days and afterward. You will find comfort there. You are
    encircled in love and support by us all...Precious picture.

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  63. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

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  64. I AM SO SORRY! I pray for you and little man Stewey.

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  65. I love this photo of you and beloved Stewey. He brings you so much happiness and you've made a great life for him. I think your vet can tell you when you'll know, and I think in my heart you will know. It is terribly difficult decision, I've had to make it a couple of times now, but it is the right one for our beloved furbabies. I'm glad you are having good times together. Love and hugs to you, oh wonderful Coni!

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  66. Big hugs all the way from France to you and your little dog !

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  67. Oh Coni, I wish I knew just the right words to say, but I just don't....there aren't any. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you and I'm sending you many, many tender hugs. I hope you can feel them....

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