Sep 12, 2015

UGH-UST INTO SEPTEMB-AAAHHH

Stewey and I awoke to a crisp, breezy, sunny day.  It truly feels like I can come out of my little hovel now.  Thank you, dear friends, for all of your concern regarding my absence.  This was a lousy summer for Yours Truly, and although I have been decidedly unwell, methinks I will be on the mend soon.

What can I say?  I'm just too damn ornery to be sick.

The good news is that Stewey has found a new calling as a home health care aide.  He has become very adept at pulse monitoring (he stands on top of me while I'm sleeping and measures my breaths in and out on his little stopwatch), bathing (he has an afternoon snack on the bath mat while I soak in the tub), and medication dispensing (he stuffs all of my daily pills into a sesame bagel, but insists on a small piece of Virginia ham sliced to within one millimeter of paper thin as reward for not killing me by means of overdose.)

What's wrong with me, you ask?  Well. I suppose that I had hoped to remain an international woman of mystery, but the truth of the matter is that I am a kidney patient.  I have stage four FSGS, which means that I am one bad lab result away from starting dialysis.  I've had kidney disease for about thirteen years now, and have managed pretty well, but age is catching up with me and things are progressing pretty quickly.  I spent the last eight months on a drug called Acthar to see if we could slow things down a bit, but it doesn't appear to have worked, and I got the lovely parting gift of 30 pounds and the lovely side effects of powerful steroids.

I am also a thyroid cancer survivor and a Crohn's patient, so when I tell you that I've got more pills in me than a Walgreens, I'm not exaggerating by very much.  Needless to say, I am the poster child for autoimmune disorders.  

Which leads me to the conclusion that my parents were brother and sister, or I was hatched in some kind of toxic waste disposal facility.  

Or even more tragically, both of those things are true and I will never be Grand Marshall of the I Love Lima, Ohio celebratory parade.

So there you have it.  The deep dark secret that I have been holding close to my ample, yet saggy bosom for quite some time.  I am terrible at sharing these types of things, mind you, since I hold firmly to the belief that if I close my eyes tight enough and put my hands to my ears while chanting la la la la la, all will be rainbows and unicorns again soon.  I also seem to have some strange patholical need to remain positive and very vague, and not share every single detail of every single moment of my life despite this age of The Facebook posting and The Twittering and whatnot.

But for those of you who DO share all of the intimate details of your lives on The Facebook and The Twitter please don't stop!  I scour those things like some kind of crazypants stalker and can't get enough of the vicarious living, traveling, eating, stitching, parenting, organizing, dating, homekeeping, and whatnoting contained therein.

I have friends who have had the misfortune of knowing me my entire life who will tell you that I remain an enigma and that they couldn't tell you anything about what goes on in this head of mine, so please don't feel bad that all this time you thought I was a normal person....that's all part of the circus, my dears, and life behind the curtain is going to stay just that.

Unless, of course, Stewey finally publishes his expose' on life with spinster, and then I imagine that I will have to confess that I am just a hot mess of fear, loneliness, sadness, and frustration like the rest of the planet.

It's definitely not easy being me, but I'm happy to report that things in the reading, sleeping, and needlework departments are going swimmingly.  I have been devouring good novels at the rate of two or three a week (Holy Schmoley am I thankful that we have such an amazing library system here in Hoosierville!), and if all goes according to plan, I'll spend tomorrow up in the studio assembling The Spinster Stitcher Basket Of Autumnal Needlework fun.

I've been happily stitching away in the evenings, and have managed a finish and some good progress on pieces that have languished in the WIP bin for far too long.  Here are a few craptastic photos of the  progress:
The top piece is by Laura J. Perin Her Very Self and the bottom two are from Miss Threedles.

I do hope that you will forgive such a personal post, and I hope that this wasn't overstepping the bounds of our lovely little world.  I'm sure that Betty will send me an angry email about my crappy writing and the fact that I felt compelled to write about something other than stitching, but that's just the risk I will have to take.

I really do thank you for your notes and calls and "Where are you, dear Spinster Stitcher"s.  They have been so lovely and are just what the doctor (or in my case, entire team of doctors) have ordered!

Happy Fall, y'all!

With much love from The Spinster Stitcher and Her Little Dog, too!

52 comments:

  1. Oh we all deal with issues....and you seem like you got more than your share. Here's hoping the the marvels of medical science can help as much as possible and make life a tad easier. I for one am investing my retirement savings in pharmacuticals as I believe it is an exponential growth opportunity...LOL... or maybe I'll be able to wrangle a discount on my meds. . Love your stitching...so pretty! And Betty can just stick it where the sun don't shine... take care dear Spinster... we are all in this boat of life together!

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  2. Bloody hell Coni ( as we say in the UK)! You are going through the mill. Sorry that things have been so grim for you, but delighted that Stewie, stitching and books are getting you through. Hope that things improve and a cunning plan is resolved upon re the kidney issues. Take care and keep sharing as much or as little as you like...your internet fan club is rooting for you.

    Alison
    Godalming, UK

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  3. Have missed your posts. Love your sense of humor and find it even more remarkable with all you are dealing with. Chin up and with Stewey to lead you, I know you can carry forward.

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  4. I'm a great believer that a problem shared is a problem halved - I know it doesn't quite work that way but the principle is there and I truly think it helps.
    I hope you feel better for sharing and that it's not put you off doing it again. Take care.

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  5. You will always be a woman of mystery to me, regardless of what you want to share. Hugs!

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  6. I've missed you and Stewey. Keep your chin up.

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  7. Coni~ first, thanks for sharing with us, I hope you know how dear you are to all of your readers. It's like you are a dear friend, or cousin that we don't see often, but hold close to our hearts.
    I'm sure I speak for all of your real life friends, and those of us who are fans, that we hope that the illnesses slow w-a-y down, and that you get back to your normal spunky routines.
    Please, take care of yourself, and now that you have shared your secrets, we can all keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
    You are such an inspiration to us all, with your quick wit, and your marvelous stitching. All the best from Colorado~

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  8. I'm sorry to read that you are not doing well. I hope something can be done to help and slow down the progress. Your stitching stitching is beautiful as always. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  9. I am inherently a private person like you. That said I am glad you shared so that loyal readers can tell you they care!

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  10. I am inherently a private person like you. That said I am glad you shared so that loyal readers can tell you they care!

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  11. Feel better and tell Betty to go jump in a lake. Lol

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  12. I'm very glad to have heard from you! I'll be thinking of you and sending warm thoughts.

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  13. Thinking of you and adding you to my prayer list! Hope they can find something to slow down your kidney disease. Your shared projects are gorgeous.

    Robin in Virginia

    PS And that Betty doesn't need to come around annoying you. I like what Carol in the first response said.

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  14. I'm so sorry to hear that you are facing dialysis. My late husband was a dialysis patient for just over three years; his kidney failure was caused by a blood cancer. If he hadn't died when he did, he would have been back on dialysis. I do hope you can stay the course for now. If it would help you, please feel free to contact me; I'd be glad to give you some info on different types of dialysis. (I'm a no-reply blogger, but you should be able to click through to my blog, "A Crafter's Chronology" and find the link to my email there.)

    I'm glad you felt you could share your health struggles! We (that's a collective we) may never have met you, but when you've read someone's blog for a while, you start to feel like you know them. Hang in there, and keep us posted, ok?

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  15. Your posts have always brightened my day. I'm sorry your days have been gloomy of late. Sharing often can unburden and make more space for healing. Lots of sounding boards, here. Much love and luck to you and your loyal caregiver, Stewey.

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  16. I am so sorry to hear of all your health issues, but I am also a firm believer in the fact that the more people you have out there sending prayers up for you, the better it is. The power of prayer is amazing, and I will certainly be including you in mine. Hope you will have some good news coming your way very soon.

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  17. Hey lady, something told me to find your blog again today and see how things are in your world. I've been a bit absent from reading and commenting for some time. Lo, and behold... this most important post. I'm glad you've let people know. We all have "stuff". We all have heartache, pain, joy, and happiness. Just comes in waves sometimes, and we're all here to support each other. I've learned a lot in my last year of my first half-century. Mostly that I don't know much. But, I do know the most important thing is to care about others and live for joy. Keep plugging along. Keep stitching, and please keep posting. Whatever you want. You brighten lives.

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  18. I'm so sorry to read that you've been ill, Coni. I hope you continue to take comfort in your stitching and in your fuzzy little guy. <3

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  19. Love, hugs, and prayers, Coni. Thank you so much for this post. You will have many cyber fans sending prayers for your health and many people rooting for every step you take in controlling your situation. And I firmly believe in the power of prayer.

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  20. I am so so sorry to hear of your health issues. I, too, believe in the power of prayer and will be including you in mine. It is obvious from the comments that many people will be doing the same, which is a very good thing!

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  21. It's so good to hear from you! I am so sorry you are dealing with health issues but am full of admiration for your positive attitude. It's wonderful that you have been able to read and stitch as they are so therapeutic (not to mention how therapeutic Stewey is as well). Sending prayers to you and also thanks for the joy you bring to so many.

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  22. Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well! And it is good to hear Stewey is taking such good care of you :) Your stitching is lovely as always and I will read whatever you write about. Take care and hugs and prayers sent your way!!

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  23. Coni, I am sorry to hear of your health issues. I believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking. Thinking of you. Please know that we are all rooting for you.
    Carolyn

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  24. Coni, you have been sorely missed and I was threatened within an inch of my life by my 4 little furbabies not to intrude. I am glad you chose to tell us what's going on and sorry at the same time to hear it. Sending you and Stewey love, hugs & prayers. Cathryn

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  25. Coni, I am so sorry that the rainbows and unicorns have been absent from Hoosierville. I hope Stewey continues to pamper you and to cater to your every whim (or at least not water the drapes). Please know that you are incredibly dear to all who follow you stitching adventures. As always, photos of your stitching inspire me to pick up a needle again.

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  26. Read, sleep and stitch ~ Sounds good to me!

    If you haven't read The Martian, I highly recommend it. I promise Mark Watney (the main character) will help you forget Kevin Costner ever existed. :0) Take care of yourself!

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  27. Oh my, God bless you, and your little doggy too.......We've missed hearing from you and are really sorry about your health problemss.....PLEASE continue taking care of yourself better even than you take care of Stewey!
    Take care and know you are loved! Blessings............

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  28. So sorry to read about your health issues. Like you, I don't like sharing intimate details about myself. I'm sure this was hard for you. Good thing you've got Stewey to keep an eye on you.

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  29. It's so nice to see you posting again. I really enjoy reading your blog and Stewey's escapades and seeing your beautiful progress pictures of your stitching/needlepoint. I'm sorry to read about your health issues and pray that medical science will find an effective treatment for you.

    I also agree with Carol's thought that Betty can just stick it where the sun don't shine.

    Take care of yourself. (Stewey, take good care of Mo-ther.)

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  30. Hi Coni,
    What a relief to click on your site and get a new posting (although I'm so sorry you've been dealing with so much). We in cyberspace have missed you! Like so many others, I will be including you in my prayers. You and Stewey are well loved. So take good care dear girl and stitch on!
    Best, jenny

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  31. Oh, dear God. So sorry you are dealing with all of those issues. I will send some prayers your way. Needlework is a great healer, so I am glad to see you stitching again! Please share every piece you put in your autumn basket. I have been wanting to stitch a fall-themed piece, but have not been able to come up with one, except Needle Delights Originals Autumn Logs, and I am still on the fence about ordering it. I was wondering where you had went, and am so glad you are back! Love to you and Stewey.

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  32. You are a bright spot in all our lives....may be return the favor by offering prayers and good thoughts.

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  33. Sorry to hear about your health issues, Coni. I'm only an hour away if you ever need anything, even if it's just some company.

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  34. Coni,

    I've been reading your posts for a year or two now, and they were so funny I actually went all the way back and read your post from the very beginning. You have always put a smile on my face and your needlework is just beautiful. I'm a cross stitcher but not on the level you are. I'm just beginning and your sight has always been an inspiration. I always miss you when you don't post and was happy to see you posted, until I read about your health issues. Just know I'm praying for you, take care, (Stewie needs you) and keep stitching!

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  35. I have missed you very much as your posts have always made me smile and your beautiful needlework inspires me so much. I am so sorry about your illnesses and want you to know that you are in my prayers too. I do want to thank you for sharing as I do think of you as a friend after reading all your posts and getting so much pleasure from hearing about your stitching and life with Stewie. Sending prayers and love, Liz

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  36. I am so glad that you are back! I love reading about your stitching, life and of course, Stewey! Feel better!

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  37. I am so happy to see a posting from you with health issues and all. I wish you good health, long life and every happiness along with your pal Stewey. I love your work but your humor is a treasure! Keep laughing.
    Big hugs!

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  38. YAY! I was so happy to see your post and know that you and Stewy are still here, I too am a mother of fur babies - two in my case. And I love to needle point, although I don't have much time for it. I'm always excited to see what you are working on and hear what Stewy is doing. I am sorry to hear about your heath issues and hope things will look up.
    Hugs and happiness your way!

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  39. Happy to see your post, but very sorry for your health problems. Take care.

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  40. Welcome back Coni. You have been sorely missed. Your attitude in light of all you are currently facing is marvelous. Prayers winging their way north from the southern part of our Hoosier State/

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  41. I am so sorry about your health issues. I hope the doctors can work out the perfect cocktail of drugs to help! Glad to see you are still stitching and that Stewie is taking care of you!

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  42. Thank goodness you are back!! We love you!!!

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  43. Dear Coni, you are in my thoughts and prayers. We all have missed you so and do not want to intrude on your privacy. However, know that you (and Stewey, of course) are beloved by so many of us.

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  44. Coni, I was sorry to read about your health issues. I hope things improve on that front for you. I'm glad you shared your situation with your friends out here in blogland. I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Take care my friend!

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  45. Coni, I just read your latest article in Needlepoint Now about "releasing the crazy" and boy, can I relate. Needlepoint is a true refuge from the sometimes weariness of everyday life. I loved the article. Actually, when I get each issue of Needlepoint Now I look forward to your page the most.

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  46. I've wondered how you were doing and have missed your blogging. I'm so glad the books and needlework help (don't they always?) As another resident of our beloved Hoosierville and a part of said amazing library, I confess to being thrilled that we played a small part in helping your summer be a little better. Thank you for the bravery of sharing. Hang in there.

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  47. So many people are suffering from health problems Coni, I am sorry to read of yours but kudos to you for speaking out and letting people know what you are struggling with. I'm adding my good wishes and prayers for you along with everyone else. I know it's not just the physical battle too but also the depression etc that comes along with it. You have many cyber-friends pulling for you so I hope that helps a little bit. Most of us don't appreciate our health enough until we don't have it anymore . God bless!

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  48. I'm so sorry that you are falling apart at the seams, you need some TLC or a new body. Maybe Stewey could help you craft one? The six billion stitches woman - we can rebuild her!
    Nice to see you blogging again anyway. I love your humour.

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  49. My first post to your blog but I have enjoyed reading about the adventures in your life and your very humorous outlooks about the world in which we live. I too suffer from Chrons and my prayers and good thoughts are with you always. Keep stitching, reading and loving your friends and family.

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  50. Oh Coni, I am so sorry you are not well...I kind of suspected you were hiding things from us Spinsterettes (there, we have a name for your fan club!) but I figured you would share when you wanted to. That is a lot of medical horse hockey to have to deal with!! I believe you should have my email if you ever want to rant. I have been informed of my own health issues this month, and am trying not to crawl into a corner and blubber my eyes out. Chronic disease sucks, plain and simple.

    All the very best to Mr.Stewey esq...love you and wish I could give you a big ole hug!

    xo mj

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  51. Oh Coni, now I understand why you were silent for such a long time. I wish I could just hug you!! I also have quite a number of serious health problems, but so far I am blessed with the ability (through lots of pills) to control mine so far. Please remember your cyber-friends love you (and Stewie). So glad you are beginning to enjoy life again!! Many prayers will be coming your way.

    Debbie in Kansas

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