Jul 27, 2016

FUTZINGDAY SPINSTER BLISS

Bosco on the left...Stewey on the right.  In about ten minutes, they will reverse and then do that over and over again until playtime.  

They must have a little timer hidden somewhere...

A little more progress on Bargello Challenge.  I ripped out that background section because I had turned my canvas upside down and the resulting stitches were different somehow and caused a bit of an annoying shadow...

My sleepy BabyDear...

And an awake Bosco (who doesn't care to have his photograph taken one little bit):


Puppy toes and a nose from last night's stitching...

Today will be comprised of some futzing and putzing and not much else.  After I get a chore or two finished I will contemplate grilling some chicken and then sitting down to finish a library book before stitching.  If I time everything correctly, I should be finished with the Bargello Challenge just in time for the opening ceremonies of Rio.  Wonder what will make it into my Olympic stitchy basket this year?  (Rumor has it that I am actually thinking about re-starting Patchwork of Peace!...stay tuned for a final decision on that one!)

Hope you have a lovely day...futz away!

Jul 25, 2016

A LITTLE BACKGROUND



I started the background sections of the Bargello Challenge and had several trial and errors before settling on 3-ply DMC floss in my lightest color.  So far, I'm pretty happy with the end result, so I think it will stay.

For now.

The deadline for the piece is October, so I have a few months to fret and tweak and rip and re-stitch anything that really bugs me, but I'm hoping I can resist the impulse to do so.  How about I make a public pledge on this here blog to just finish it and then leave well enough alone?  That way, if I feel the urge to do something stupid you will all hold me accountable and I won't have to come up with some crazypants explanation as to why I am turning in a jar full of thread fragments and a partially stitched canvas with tire tracks on it.

(Hmmmm.  Wonder if I'm on to something?  I could also publish my weekly to do list and menu plan, and when I fail to get out of bed or opt for a bowl of Cheetos for dinner instead of a chopped salad and salmon, you could shame me right back into submission.)

(Except then I would turn you all into task masters and hall monitors, and I have at least eleven or twelve of those in my brain already.)

Noooo, I think we'll just keep the status quo for now.  I'll bumble cluck my way through stuff and you'll get to have a few moments each day to think to yourself "Thank God I'm not that idiot spinster who can't find her way out of a wet paper bad with two hands, a flashlight, and an enormous pair of saftey scissors."

You're welcome, friends.  Anything I can do to help.

Happy Monday to one and all.  I'm off to get an Aranesp shot, a bit of gas in the car, some more DMC floss, and a few groceries for the week.  Hope your day is equally as exciting!

Jul 22, 2016

BLECH...

And just like that...we fell back to Earth.

Stewey and I were happily enjoying our tea and toast this morning when Bosco came bounding into the dining room.

"Aunt CJ!  Cousin Stewey!  The new uniforms are here!  Can I get one?!  Can I? Can I?"

And with that, he bounded right back out of the dining room to resume his cartoon watching.

"What do you suppose that was all about, Mo-ther?" Stewey asked, as he peered over the Times.

A few minutes later and I was reminded why I have such a love/hate pathology with my semi-beloved alma mater.  I give you the 2016 Shamrock Series uniforms, as unveiled yesterday to horrified alumni and salivating pre-pubescent mouth breathers alike:

Once again, I am left to feel like the proverbial old lady hollering about the world going to hell in a handbasket and why oh why can't you damn kids just stay off the grass?  I get it...I'm not exactly what you'd call the target demographic for this stuff, but what nineteen year old really loves the color of...shower mold?  

Oh well, at least we won't have to worry about the dry cleaning bill if the damn things get dirty.  These dun-colored monstrocities should hide whatever messes the team decides to roll around in quite nicely, unlike the Stapuft Marshmallow Man get ups from a few years ago:

Oey...back to breakfast and the newspaper.  Maybe I can read a nice article about the Republican national convention or global warming to calm down...

Jul 21, 2016

OK...NOW THE UNIVERSE IS JUST SCREWING WITH ME

I've been thinking about that damn yellow butterfly all day.  Moments ago as I was getting ready to unplug for the night, I checked email and got a note from Miss Charlene.

Guess what she found on her bike ride tonight?


Holy crap on a cracker.  This has been a very interesting day!

And yes, in case you were wondering...that is the exact same butterfly that came to Stewey and me this morning and I'm pretty sure if you look closely enough at it you'll see that it's wearing a Notre Dame class ring, has a love of Oreo cookies, and knows that there is no way in the world his idiot daughter would ever be able to survive without a little help from her friends...

Tomorrow we're buying lottery tickets.

HOLY SYMBOLS, BATMAN!



Today is my dad's birthday.  He would have been 84 years old today.  I mention this beause I'm pretty sure that the universe is trying to tell me something and that it somehow relates to my dad or my mom or both, since I have been missing them like crazy lately.

(Or, I've finally lost my mind completely and it's time to go to the special facility that's been holding a room for me since sometime in the late 90's when I decided to live my life as though I was a normal person trapped in the body of a portly yet well-meaning spinster.)

I saw a yellow butterfly today.  

OK, so maybe it was more like I swatted and ran away from a yellow butterfly that was careening around the back yard like some kind of crazypants kamakazee spiritual symbol thingie...but nonetheless, I saw a yellow butterfly today.

Normally I would not have really given this too much thought, but for some reason this crazy butterfly decided to get my attention as it flitted between me, the patio umbrella, and then Stewey.  And it did this for about fifteen minutes before I started to get a little creeped out and came inside.

So we got on with our morning and decided to go out for our second constitutional of the day, and there it was again!  The exact same butterfly.  And, just like before, it hung out right there in the yard with Stewey as he hopped around inspecting each and every blade of grass and leaf before deciding to plop himself in the cool damp grass for a snooze in the sun.  

And the stupid butterfly stayed there. 

So now I'm back in the house wondering if I've had a heat stroke or if I have once and for all dropped my basket entirely. 

According to the Google, seeing a yellow butterfly is a good omen and means hope and guidance.

Hope.

And guidance.

I can't think of two things I could use more of right about now other than a full time housekeeper and a fistful of Target gift cards.  All this time I had been wishing on stars and lighting candles and chanting mantras to whoever would listen, when all I needed to do was find a stupid yellow butterfly.

So that's the report from Lunaticville today, kids.  Here's hoping that your neck of the woods is full of hope and guidance too.

And butterflies.

Jul 20, 2016

WEDNESDAY...WEDNESDAY

Progress continues on the Bargello Challenge:

I've really enjoyed this tremendously and think that I learned more than I bargained for in the process.  I learned that sometimes you can, in fact, have an idea in your head and actually execute it, but that it might take you a few tries and tweaks before you see it come to fruition.  In my case, it was the colors that went sideways on me before falling into place.  The design was there...I knew I wanted to do a "band sampler", but I really did think it was going to be a red, purple, and yellowish band sampler and not a rainbow sherbert band sampler.

Oh well...live and learn.  Live and learn.

Today is going to be a quiet day here at the homestead.  I have been feeling a bit punk and think I'm a quart or two low.  (My kidney disease causes me to have anemia, so when my hemoglobin drops it's similar to the car needing an oil change.)

(Too bad I don't have a little indicator light on my dashboard that would tell me when it's time to go juice up!)

Never fear, however...some labwork and a big fat shot ot Aranesp later and all will be put to rights once again.  In the meantime, I snooze and rest and think happy thoughts and encourage those little kidney beans inside me to keep hanging in there a little longer!

Stewey continues to play Patient to my Nurse Ratchett.  He seems to be quite happy to let me cuddle him whenever necessary, and each evening plays a gentle game of spaceship with me while I toss Bosco a ball to fetch.  (The spaceship is actually an interactive toy that I fill with food, and as Stewey noodges it about, pieces fall out and he eats a bit of dinner that way.  Otherwuse, I'm afraid it would be all cookies, all the time around here!)

The mowers and landscapers are mowing and landscaping, the sun is shining on the garden, and all is calm and bright today so far...hope it is the same in your neck of the woods!






Jul 18, 2016

A LITTLE STITCHING...A LITTLE PLANNING

My Bargello Challenge is still coming along.  I managed to almost fininsh another section yesterday while watching a little marathon of "The  Newsroom".  I have to say....I never would have imagined that I would like these colors together as much as I do.  Makes me think of a big bowl of sherbert!

With the Olympics just around the corner, I decided to start gathering projects that might be suitable.  I had originally thought these might work:

But, now I'm wondering if this one might be more fun done in reds, whites, and blues:

Or I might just break with tradition completely and stitch Poppers as is, since the colors kinda scream Rio in August to me for some reason.   Three weeks to decide...

Stewey and Bosco and I overdid it a bit yesterday.  It seemed like every time I turned around we were chasing pumpkins or eating cookies or running outside to look at the clouds.  I am so desperate not to miss one single minute with him that I think I'm driving us both 'round the bend a bit.  I need to calm the heck down and just...be.


Jul 17, 2016

SUNDAY...SUNDAY

Bit of an overcast morning, so the boys and I are enjoying an extra cup of French Roast with the paper.  We just can't seem to get moving today.  Would it be so wrong to have a pajama day and do nothing but stitch and watch movies?  Probably not...so looks like that's what it will be.


Yesterday was a simply lovely day with my EGA guild sisters.  We had a wonderful potluck picnic, learned how to make little beaded snowflake ornaments, and then heard a presentation about attending the Royal School of Needlework.  I was away from the house for much longer than I intended, but I think it was good for all of us to have a little break.  Stewey probably enjoyed snoozing in the sun without having me hover, Bosco was able to just be himself without me having to warn him to be careful of Stewey, and I really needed a moment to be something other than a fretting Mommie Dearest.


My Bargello Challenge piece is coming along nicely.  That's the thing about bargello...once you get the pattern established, the actual stitching of it goes pretty fast.  I'm still concerned about the thread coverage, and hope that the instructor won't deduct points for it, but I do like the color and texture that is resulting from using perle cotton, so I suppose that counts for something.


I hope that you are having a lovely, quiet, happy, and peaceful Sunday.  Do something wonderful and then cone tell us all about it!

Jul 14, 2016

QUIET THURSDAY

We're enjoying a lazy day so far.  Stewey is napping in his little bed and Bosco is snoring in the Happy Chair.  I'm going to grab a long scrubby shower and then head to the grocery for some quick provisions and then make it home in time for our afternoon nap.


Our appointment with Dr. Niemann was very helpful.  I was able to ask questions and wrap my head around what's to come.  The good news is that Stewey does not appear to be in any pain and is still doing very well on the meds.  

Thank you all for your prayers and support.  If it doesn't sound too hokey...both Stewey and I know that all of this good energy is what's keeping us going right now.  The love is...palpable and we're both wrapping ourselves in it like a blanket.

Jul 11, 2016

MONDAY...MONDAY

We had an oddly productive weekend here at Chez Hopeless.  I got it in my head that if Stewey was snoozing in the sun it would be OK for me to do a project or two to keep myself busy.

I cleaned the guest room, guest bath, laundry room, and my bathroom, did laundry, cleaned the office, cooked, made fruit salad, re-arranged my little dining room table cockpit and stitched.

Today, the cable guy came and upgraded all of my equipment, since apparently the hamsters that were powering my circa 1972 dvr thingies all decided to take a much needed retirement and after 27 years of being a loyal Comcast customer, they decided to give a girl a break and get her into the 18th century.

Tomorrow we will visit Dr. Niemann again, only this time I have my notebook ready with questions.  I don't know that the answers will be any better, but at least this time I'll know enough to ask them.

As soon as we're able, Stewey and I will find the words to thank you all for your notes and comments and support and love.  Nothing seems remotely adequate at this point.

For now...a little pic of my BabyDear hanging out under the table while I type.  Looks like it's time for a nap!

Jul 10, 2016

SUNDAY STEWEY BLISS

Mommie seems to like the cuddle bunny more that I do, but I'll humor her for a photo:

Only a little stitching, but we're trying to stay in our routines a bit:

Jul 9, 2016




Today I learned that it's OK to let Stewey have some peace and quiet in his little bed in front of the patio window while I get some things done. I've been afraid to let him out of my arms, but realized that he loves laying in his little bed and I don't want him to miss that.

I picked up a cuddle bunny at Target yesterday and laughed as I watched Stewey pounce on it and squeek the squeeker over and over.  It's floppy and soft and has a sweet face, and I think that it's more for my comfort than it is for his...but that's OK.

My biggest fear in all of this is that I'm missing something...something I should be doing or asking or demanding or trying.  I just don't want to make a bad decision because of me being stupid or selfish or ignorant.  We sat in front of that xray, the words "bone cancer" were spoken, and everything after that was a complete blur.  I've started reading about it online, but get more and more terrified and more and more devastated every time I do, so I just try to breathe instead.

Amputation and chemotherapy.  On my baby.  My heart.  My one true little love.  Would those two things cure him and allow him to live a long and happy life, or am I just buying a few very sad, very hard, very miserable months?  When I asked Dr. Nieman what he would do if Stewey were his, he told me to bring him home, love him, and keep him comfortable, and I nodded dumbly and drove home determined to do just that.  

But today I agonize if there isn't somebody or something out there who can tell me that there is an alternative.  A new medicine or therapy or idea or treatment.  Or maybe the diagnosis is off somehow and this is actually fixable....and then I realize that I'm just grasping at anything I can to avoid the reality of it all and I fall back into the nightmare.

Someday I will reveal all of my deep dark secrets that give this situation...context.  Needless to say, if this was the only thing that had fallen on my head lately I would be rather ashamed of my hysterics.  But the list of major "issues" on this spinster's shoulders is long and heavy, my friends, and Stewey and Stewey's companionship was the last piece of duct tape holding me together.  

I'm terrified.

Jul 8, 2016

When I asked Jesus to take the wheel, I had no idea he would be such a lousy driver.

Jul 7, 2016


DEAR FRIENDS...

When I started writing this blog, I never imagined the friends that I would make, both near and far, and how much one person could more possibly enjoy the feeling of finally making it to the cool kids' table.

But who am I kidding?  You continue to read this blog and, I suspect, continue to put up with me and my silly shenanigans because of one reason and one reason only.

Stewey.

Eleven years ago yesterday, I held that little three pound bundle of fur in my arms for the first time and can honestly tell you that I thought my heart would burst with the amount of love that was inside of it.

Today, I'm pretty sure that that very same heart is going to break into a million pieces.

Stewey has bone cancer.  And, despite the fact that I would give my own life to save his, there is absolutely nothing I can do but keep him comfortable and spend as much time with him as I can.  I know that I am in shock and I know that there is a very large part of me that wonders if I will actually survive this, but for now I am just trying to breathe in and out and not let him more than two inches away from me.

Yes, I realize that with all that is going on in the world, the impending loss of a pet seems positively trivial, but I make no apologies for my tears or admission that this little creature has been the absolute  love of my life and I have not one single clue how to navigate this.

So I will ask you to pray for us and to keep us in your happy thoughts.  I might not be here at the blog  as often as I have been, but I know you'll understand.

Stewey sends his love, too.  I am pretty sure that he knows and understands the diagnosis, because he laid very gently in my arms at the vet's office and when Dr. Nieman gave us the news he reached up and kissed my tears away before laying his little head on my shoulder.  We're in the big girl sleigh bed for a nap as I type this, and he is snuggled in close listening to the clickety clack of the keyboard.  

I think he is at peace.

WHY I DECIDED TO SIT ON THE LOVESEAT, BY THE SPINSTER STITCHER HER VERY SELF

For two little dogs that do not get along very well, these two sure spend a lot of time together.  That Happy Chair was Jack Russell Central last night, and despite my strongest arguments as to why I should be allowed to sit there, I was dispatched elsewhere.

Forthwith.

I suspect that this is all just part of the conspiracy.  When I returned home from appointments and errands yesterday afternoon to discover a present for me on the dining room rug, neither Bosco nor Stewey implicated the other.  (Normally, Stewey is only too happy to point out that HE wets the drapes like a civilized gentleman, as opposed to doing something else in a most undignified manner while squatting over an area rug.)

Today will occupied with more appointments (for Stewey this time), some stitching, reading, and hopefully afternoon nap taking.  It's been rather warm and humid here, and that just seems to zap what little energy I have right out of me.

This, however, is keeping me company when I am awake:
I'm so happy with how it's coming along and am thinking that now that I've got the colors and patterns sorted, I might focus on improving the thread coverage.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll switch it all to DMC floss instead of perle cotton, break out the laying tool, and try a v3.0!

(For those of you who've asked...I'm just laying the general pattern for each of my sections.  The open areas of canvas will be filled in with gradations of color, and the backgrounds that are too small for the pattern will be basketweave. )

That's the Thursday report, kids.  I hope that your Thursday is everything you want it to be!

Jul 6, 2016

MOMMIESTEWEYVERSARY

Eleven years ago today, a little furry creature became my BabyDear.

What a ride.


Yes...I made a scrapbook.  What can I say?  Spinster...pet.  (You do the math).

He was a good sleeper from the very beginning...

And still is...


Even as a baby he looked exasperated with Yours Truly...

And still does...

Thank you for changing my life, Stewey Angus McGrunty vonNudgie Piddlekins Little Skittles BabyDear Willowswamp.  I couldn't love you more if I had given birth to you myself.

Kissy kissy kissy,
Mommie Dearest Mo-ther Crazypants Idiot Spinster Head

Jul 5, 2016

CHELL-O, BARGEL-O!

I really did think that yesterday was going to be a housecleaning day.  (I mean, come on, I bought the equipment and all....you would think I would have used it!)

I did this instead:

When last we left our heroine, she was contemplating using her first attempt at the Bargello Challenge as an automobile floor mat.  I liked my design concept well enough...but those colors!  Oey!

So I gently and lovingly removed v1.0 from the stretcher bars, fished around in my stash a bit, and...voila!  Version 2.0.

You really can't tell from my craptastic photo, but the colors are hot hot pink and deep rich orange...two colors that I normally wouldn't have thought of as in my wheelhouse.  But there's something about this combination that is just really blowing my skirt up, so I'm going to stick with it and enjoy the ride.

The weekend turned out to be quite spinster blissful, actually.  I did all of the things that make me happy.  I slept, I read, I cooked, I stitched, I kissed my boys on their little wet noses, and I blogged.  What the heck else could I possibly have asked for?!

Jul 4, 2016

Jul 3, 2016

LET THE GAMES BEGIN...

Meet my new best friend.

For some time now, I have contemplated buying an upholstery cleaner for the Happy Chair, the bedroom chair, areas of the bedroom carpet, and anyplace else that needs a periodic bath.  In the past, I've always called the people with the coupons to come do it for me, but it occured to me that for the cost of one of those cleanings I could have a machine of my very own.
So now I'm going to go read the directions and then send Stewey and Bosco to the movies for a few hours while I turn this place into a sparkling clean bastion of good smelling fabric nirvana.

What are you doing today?

Jul 2, 2016

OMG...SHE'S GOING TO START DATING!

I blame Patrick Swayze for this latest trip down Crazypants Lane.

Last night as I settled in to stitch, I tuned in to the Lifetime Television for Women channel and caught a replay of Dirty Dancing.  Yes, I've seen the movie before...(I don't really live in a cave surrounded by dog pee and Housewives)...I just had never really noticed HIM  and how he looked at HER during that last dance.

I swooned, I tell ya.  Positively, absolutely, completely swooned.

Right there in the Happy Chair.

So that got me thinking about what it might be like to find some poor half-blind, half-crazy man that would look at ME like that and I pondered taking a gander at online dating sites.

I did well enough answering all of the questions about what I might be looking for in a mate...kind, funny, smart, generous, patient, etc etc...but when it came time to creating my profile I hit a brick wall.

First is the matter of a profile picture.

Here's the one that I selected:

Stewey and Bosco pointed out that this one might be sending the wrong message.  After all...what proper spinster shows her thong to perfect strangers without so much as a howdie doo?

So I moved on to the profile itself and came up with an opening tag line that I thought was swell:

"International swimsuit model trapped in the body of a portly yet loveable spinster."

Again, I got nothing but a big fat VE-TOE from the Peanut Gallery.

So I tried this one:

"1950's housewife trapped in the body of a 1980's sex kitten (if the kitten were the size of a small Buick and had not so much...whiskers, per se...but rather a full-on menopausal goatee."

That one caused both Bosco and Stewey to take away my iPad.

(There seems to be a lot of different people trapped inside me.  I suppose that would explain a LOT  if contemplated more fully and with the help of a certified mental health professional.)

then thought about something a little more whimsical:

"Classic and comfortable...this vintage beauty is in need of a little TLC.  Body needs work, but the engine is optimistically ready for the next 50,000 miles.  Starter can be a bit tempermental, but with the right amount of Starbucks French Roast and a firm hand on the steering wheel, you can be sure it will eventually be quite a ride!"

Hmmmm.  Not sure it sets the right tone about my overall level of tolerance tor adventure.  If I go with that one, I suppose I'll need to add something about my propensity for just staying in the garage with a good book and some needlepoint.

He's out there...I'm just sure of it.  He'll be funny and smart and have kind eyes and will smile and laugh and know how to open a door and pick up a check.  He won't mind quiet nights watching a movie or quiet days watching the boats float by his multi-level well-appointed lake house that is fully equipped with a shaded patio for stitching, a fully-stocked gourmet kitchen, and a staff of friendly and discreet dog wranglers, cleaning persons, and butlers for You Know Who.  He'll love to read, will keep his politics to himself, and he'll appreciate the convenience of having a private jet to travel to needlework shops both near and far.  He'll like sports but won't expect me to play them.  He will know what it's like to love and be loved, and is without a crazy ex lurking in a closet, and he'll understand that the baby ship has probably already sailed with this particular gal.  He'll know how to fix things without having to whine about them, can order a meal and a bottle of wine without having to brag about it, and can be as comfortable in a ballroom as he is in a bowling alley.  He'll be big enough that I won't feel like a water buffalo next to him, yet small enough that we can both fit in the same zip code without tipping it over.  He'll be loyal and decent and hard-working, and will have a circle of friends and family that are as warm and fun as he is.  And, most importantly, he'll let me be me and all that comes with that.

I'm sure this lunatic quest will prove itself to be just a whim and I'll get back to the solitary confines of the Happy Chair before long.  Rumor has it that there might be a Ghostbusters marathon on the TeeVee later, so stay tuned...tomorrow I'll want to move to New York and wear a jumpsuit and proton pack.

Happy Saturday, kids!  Do something fun and come tell me all about it!

Jul 1, 2016

SHE ACTUALLY STITCHED!

Just a little progress, but I did manage to stitch a bit last night.  Thank goodness I did...it was getting bad enough I thought I was going to have to call in the authorities!

Today is paperwork day, followed by an afternoon in the studio.  There is a gorgeous breeze blowing, so I am going to open up the windiws and air the place out!

We're off like a herd of turtles!  Hope your weekend is starting out to be as swell as you want it to be!

Jun 30, 2016

UM...OK....THIS IS NEW.

In his eleven years, one month, and thirteen years on this planet, I have never seen Stewey sleep flat on his back like that.  Wonder if he's doing that to try to tan his tummy?!

"No, Mo-ther.  This is officially my pose of surrender.  Are we EVER going to get this place back to normal?  Now put down that wretched camera and fetch me my tea and toast."

Jun 29, 2016

BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP. THESE GIRLS ARE PLAYING BIG GIRL BALL.

If you happen to live in these here parts and know Martin's Supermarkets, then you know that they have some of the nicest people you've ever met working for them.  One if my favorites happens to be a guy named Mike.  I call him Mike the Butcher because...well...he's a butcher.

So Mike the Butcher had occasion to meet Misses Charlene amd Jane on Saturday, and when I happened to see him again today he mentioned how happy he was to see that I a) had actually found friends and b) that these ladies looked like they were definitely out of my league in the smarts department.

(Mike the Butcher gets a pass, since he has a very witty sense of humor and was just saying these things to tease me.)

(At least I hope that's the case.)

Last night, though, I really started to wonder if I'm repeating the "Thunderbird that really looked like a deranged chicken" incident of 1984, when I returned to Chez Spinster completely exhausted from my day and evening with Misses Jane and Charlene and the ladies of the guild.

These are women to admire and adore, I tell ya, and there I am just hoping to somehow fit in and hang with them without completely embarrasing myself right into more of a hot crock pot full of mess than I already am.

Thus the comparison to 1984... Senior year at Lima Central Catholic High School.  For the big game against our arch rival Shawnee, my BFF Valerie Murino and I got the bright idea to charge the field before the game as a fierce Thunderbird (our mascot) defeating an Indian (their mascot).  We planned out a little skit demonstrating a battle of epic proportions, and although we imagined what would be today's equivalent of the Game of Thrones Battle for Winterfell, the result was...eh....not so much.

I enlisted the help of my cousin Brian to build the fiercely fierce Thunderbird costume, and given the budget (which was probably loose change I fished out of my car) and the time frame (which was probably about fifteen minutes), the end result was more..."large spray painted foam chicken head perched on the shoulders of a portly and hopelessly uncoordinated idiot who insisted on carrying out this little extravaganza despite the dire warnings of the band director, the head football coach, and most of the St. Rita's Medical Center emergency medical staff."

But I did it, kids.  I was determined to hang with my team and show my school spirit, and in the midst of all of this, hope that my bravery, athleticism, and fearlessness in the face of certain humiliation would be enough to earn me a spot at the table with the cool kids.

I gotta tell ya....the class of 1984 has nothing on my Guild ladies!  These are some wickedly talented, funny, smart, and lovely women.  And when it comes to stitching, they play in a league all their own. There are cross stitchers and needlepointers and beaders.  Some of these ladies also quilt and sew and knit and crochet...some are great chefs...some are hardcore bike riders or golfers...some are business women or teachers or accountants or nurses...and some are professional artists.  Most are moms or grandmoms, some are not, and some are wives or girlfriends or widows or exes.

And then there's me...adjusting my big foam chicken head and plunging head first into anything they've got going.  I don't know if I am going to be able to keep up, and I don't know if I'll figure out how to not be such a babbling numbskull around them...chattering like a circus monkey that got into the liquor cabinet, but at this point...I'm just thrilled to be invited to play!

Stitchy updates soon, I promise.  I've had a little hiatus, but am totally reinspired by all of the fun stuff I saw at House of Stitches (and by the two new projects that made their way into my shopping basket.)  I'm thinking that I will plunge ahead with Twilight and see if I can't get it completed this week, and then I think it will be time for some cross stitch!

Happy Futzingday, kids!  Do something futzy and come tell us all about it!

(Aren't you glad I didn't call it Hump Day?!)

Jun 28, 2016

PRANCIE DANCING ON A COOL AND CLOUDY TUESDAY

I got to spend the morning with Miss Jane, and I get to spend the afternoon with Miss Charlene and the rest of the girls from South Bend's EGA as we head over to La Porte for dinner and a House of Stitches trip.

There is not a spinster on the planet who is happier than me at this point.

I received a very funny email from a reader of this here blog recently asking me if Misses Jane and Charlene are, in fact, real people or if they are imaginary friends.  After all, the reader wrote, I am a spinster with a talking Jack Russell terrier wearing a silk smoking jacket...so...you just never know.

First of all, can I just say that I am continually gobsmacked that there is anybody out there who actually READS this here blog, but who also takes the time to write to me and politely ask about my life?  Well, shucks...that's just so flattering and surprising to me that I get all mushy inside.

Yes, Virginia, both Jane and Charlene are real.  They are two of the smartest, kindest, funniest, most generously wonderful women you will ever meet, and I feel lucky to know them.  I have to say...all of the ladies in all three of the guilds that I attend are that way.  Not one bad apple in the bunch.

All in all, I would say that stitchers in general are a pretty swell bunch, no matter their ilk.  There must be something about this thing of our that makes it so, but for now I'm just happy to be a part of it, even if I'll never know exactly what it is.

Do something fun with your peeps, if you can, and come tell us all about them!


Jun 27, 2016

I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER...

I spent a few minutes planning yesterday, which usually means I struggle to find things to write in my book and then fret whether or not I have a sticker for it.

(It's a cult, I tell ya.  A big school and office supply cult of very very organized people.)

I started using an Erin Condren life planner last year and immediately fell into the cuteness of it all, but the probelm is...most people that use these planners have real lives and kids and jobs and things to do other than chase dust bunnies and Jack Russell terriers around the house.  True, it's been great to keep track of the umpteen million doctors' appointments I have in a week, but I was feeling kinda foolish to have this nice big fancy book with nothing in it.

And then this week rolled around and I actually had some stuff to enter!  Errands and calls and appointments and even a job interview!  Who could possibly be happier than I am at this moment to feel like a real grown up person?

WooHoo!

Still no stitching again last night.  Stewey and Bosco and I did a Game of Thrones marathon and I needed to sit up in the Happy Chair and really pay attention.  I felt very lost this season for some reason, so I wanted to get half a clue before the finale last night.

One last load of laundry to fold and put away and I am happy to report that every single solitary piece of clothing that I own (with the exception of the outfit I'm in now) is clean, folded, and properly hung/drawered/shelved.

Gee, if this keeps up I might actually get everything else done on the list this week!  Stay tuned...miracles can happen, you know!

Jun 26, 2016

EASY LIKE A SUNDAY MORNING

Yesterday was a shopping outing with Miss Charlene and  Miss Jane, so today is a recovery day.  These girls are professionals, I tell ya, and it was all I could do to just keep up with them.  Smart, decisive, no nonsense.  

(Me?  Not so much.  It took fifteen minutes to pick a canteloupe when I stopped at the grocery on the way home.)

(I really need to up my game if I'm going to hang with these girls, I tell ya.  This is varsity ball.)

No stitching to report. I don't know if it's the heat or some big decisions that I need to make that's making my brain want to grind to a halt and stay there, but hopefully things will resolve soon and I can get back to needle and thread.  I had hoped to pick up Twilight last night, but I was just too pooped to move.  

Speaking of too pooped to move...
(I just noticed that even Woodstock is too tired to sit up properly in the picture above!)

So Bosco's camped out on the perch.  Where's Stewey?

Where else would he be, but snoozing in front of his dahlia and basil.  

That's about it from this little corner of the world.  Steak and corn and tomatoes later for Sunday dinner.  I really hope I don't screw it up....been looking forward to a nice steak on the grill for about a month and a half!

Hope your Sunday is absolutely easy, too and that you are doing whatever it is you want to do today!

Jun 24, 2016

NO GO, GIRL.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Spinster.

I had absolutely no business whatsoever posting anything remotely related to the British departure from the EU, so my cheeky post that was here a minute ago has been deleted.

What the hell was I thinking?

Well, I guess I was trying to say "Good for you, British peoples for conducting this entire exercise as civilized, smart, passionate humans as opposed to bomb-wielding, fist-shaking, tyrannical, fire-breathing idiots who can't find a way to have a conversation, let alone hold a vote for citizen voices to be heard."

Truly...truly sorry to have offended anyone who was.  After a few minutes banging my head on the driveway, we'll get back to stitching and Happy Chairs and laundry and dog pee, I promise.

Cheers!

Jun 23, 2016

AAAAHHHHH, BACK IN THE COCKPIT ONCE AGAIN

The new colors for Twilight are just what I was looking for...watery, soothing, cool, and peaceful.  I am really enjoying my time with this one on the stretcher bars and seem to be slowing down quite a bit to prolong the happiness.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

We've had some wicked, wicked storms here in Hoosierville, but thankfully Chez Spinster has been spared so much as a leaf on the lawn or the lights flickering.  I was sure we were in for it last night and was contemplating heading to the guest bath for cover, but it passed pretty quickly and Ibefore I knew it, was wrapped up in Housewives.

I did, however, discover that little Bosco is simply terrified of thunder and lightning, so he and I huddled together and whispered to each other while Stewey snoozed...obliviously...nearby.  I told Bosco the story about the angels bowling, which is what my dad used to tell me during a storm.  We would sit in his chair together and Dad would say "OK, here comes a strike!" and then we would cheer like crazy while the house shook and the sky lit up.  (I never really did get a good answer about those lights...Dad said that the boss angel didn't know how to bowl, so he stood at the light switch and flippped it on and off so that he could feel like he was part of the fun, but I was suspect.)

Today is supposed to be a housecleaning and laundry day, but I'm not sure I have the energy for it.  I know that if I just buckle down and get it done I'll feel better, but the thought of all of that sweating and grunting and scrubbing and cursing makes me tired just thinking about it.  What the heck happened to the spinster that used to set aside four hours every Saturday to clean her house like an Amish woman?  I used to be able to do that, run errands, and still manage to go out to dinner and a movie!

Oh, wait.

I was also 22 years old when I did that.

This whole "learning to live with moderation" thing completely escapes me.  I keep remembering my friend Dr. Dan telling me to "Just find the grey, Coni!  Just find the grey!" in an effort to get me to stop careening from full throttle to comatose, but, what can I say?  I'm apparently a very slow learner.

So methinks today I will try to do a few things instead of many and I'll have a good soak in an epsom salt bath and I'll drink lots of water instead of Crystal Lite and then, blissfully, I'll get back to the Happy Chair for a little Thursday night stitching.

How about you?  What's on your agenda for the day?