Sep 30, 2016

INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW

Is there any better feeling on the planet than that first cool night of Fall snoodled under the freshly changed bedding to the flannel sheets and cozy blanket?

Stewey and I hit the big girl sleigh bed last night and stayed there until 1:30 this afternoon!  If we could have figured out a way to get our newspapers, coffee, and tea delivered...I'm pretty sure we'd still be there!

Hmmmm....wonder if I could set up a new cockpit in the bed with my stitching, etc?

It was good enough for Hugh Hefner...why not good enough for a portly spinster?


Sep 28, 2016

FUTZINGDAY, FUTZINGDAY

Kind of a cool, cloudy day here in Hoosierville...my very favorite.  I'm actually thinking about lighting the fireplace to see if Stewey will want to enjoy a few hours toasting his very tiny little buns.  For now, though, he seems quite content to hang out in his little bed in front of the patio window:
The bit of blue that you see on his leg is a "compression bandage" that I MacGivered to help with the swelling.  The tumor is causing a problem with blood flow, so applying the bangage is supposed to help...almost like support panty hose.  Fortunately, he doesn't seem to mind it at all, and I think it is really helping.

You know Stewey...anything to accessorize a look.

Progress on Vaceila continues.  I keep thinking that I'm going to get bored with her and want a change of pace, but so far, so good.  Maybe I'll just keep going until the bitter end:

I had a very happy trip to the Michael's yesterday morning.  I ran out of the DMC gold metallic thread and figured I would have to order it, but lo and behold, there it was right there in the stitchy aisle!  I think I even danced a little jig right there in front of God and everybody, since it meant that I was able to come home and continue stitching without having to fret.

Who's happier than me?

Hope your Futzingday is equally as lovely.  Do something fun and come tell us all about it!

Sep 26, 2016

MONDAY MONDAY

Well, here it is.  Monday again.

We had a very quiet, snoodle-ly weekend here at Chez Spinster.  I putzed a bit, slept a lot, stitched a little, and cuddled Stewey to within an inch of his life.  

Today we're going to do more of the same, plus a little laundry.

Vaceila is still coming along nicely.  I intend to continue playing with her, but I am going to head up to the studio this week (now that it's not so beastly), and we're going to put together The Official Autumnal Basket 'O Stitchy Fun and Goodness to get us through October and November.  Then, once December arrives, we'll see what we can do about some of the Christmas WIPs that have been languishing.

I hope that your week is off to a wonderful start.  Do something fun and come tell us all about it!


Sep 24, 2016

GROUNDED

Darn it, anyway.

I'm supposed to be in Goshen, Indiana today with my stitchy peeps.  One of the guilds is having an all day stitch-in and luncheon, and I looked forward to it for weeks.  

Alas, it was not meant to be.  I am still under the weather and decided to be a grown up and tend to my ughs instead of going out to play.  I know it's probably the right decision, but still...I feel like a six year old who has been placed in time out for being naughty.

Stewey is ailing, too, so methinks that a day spent snoodling up in the big girl sleight bed might be good for both of us.  

Hope your Saturday is swell.  Here's a little progress pic of Vaceila:

Sep 22, 2016

DRINK...CHECK. LIPSTICK...CHECK. PULLING MYSELF TOGETHER? NOT A CHANCE.

I managed to get out of the big girl sleigh bed to run some errands and go to a couple of appointments, but not much else.  The  good news is that I did find a sparkly new lipstick rolling around the back of my makeup drawer that should be suitable for both Autumn and my new attitude.

We'll see how long this lasts.

(The drink was Crystal Lite Fruit Punch, thankyouverymuch.  Can you imagine ME on the hard stuff?)

Still stitching away on Vaceila.  Moving the q-snaps tonight and starting page three!  Woo Hoo!

Sep 21, 2016

Sep 19, 2016

MONDAY MONDAY

Quiet, sleepy, stitchy weekend here at Chez Spinster.  Mr. Crohn's reared his ugly head, so I spent the majority of my time drinking Gatorade and thinking happy thoughts.

Oh well...a few more flare ups and I will no longer weigh enough to tip over my zip code!

Fun with Vaceila continues...

Sep 16, 2016

TAKE THAT, MISS SASSY BRITCHES!

Every time I get up on my high horse and feel like I'm Queen High Exhalted of the Universe, the damn thing rears its pretty little head and bucks me off, right onto my big fat heiney.

After my pronouncement that I was just going to do my thing, I sat down to stitch only to realize that my stitching of the entire second page of this design is off by one stitch someplace.

One lousy stitch.

Now, I know what you're thinking.  "Oh, dear Spinster Stitcher!  Don't fret over one lousy stitch.  Surely the intricate design of the angel's dress will allow for compensation someplace."

But this is me we're talking about.

So I went into the kitchen and set the timer on the microwave for two minutes and I got an ice cream sandwich. 

(What can I say?  My diet has consisted of foods that any self-respecting six year old would eat...hot dogs, mac and cheese, fruit roll ups, ice cream sandwiches, and Honey Nut Cheerios.)

(But I digress.)

For two minutes I allowed myself a full-on fretting, hair pulling, self-flagellating session of criticism and recrimination.  I paced back and forth and wagged my finger in my own face and lectured myself about the dangers of being a rebel, and I adequately shamed myself for the prancy dancing episodes of "Look at me! Look at me!" that lead to my fall.

Sister Mary Paperplate would have been proud.

When the timer beeped (and I had finished my ice cream sandwich), I gathered my wits, washed my hands, re-filled my sippy cup with ice water, and I hit the Happy Chair once again.

Still loving dear Vaceila, even if she's not exactly perfectly perfect in every way.

I'm off to find the vacuum cleaner.  I promised the boys that I would do something about the haz mat situation that this house has become before we settle in for our afternoon nap.  I figure a swipe or two of the Swiffer and a few minutes Hoovering will be a good way to start the weekend!

Happy Friday, kids!  Do something fun and come tell us all about it!

Sep 15, 2016

AND A LITTLE BIT MORE...

I'm sure that there are about a million ways I'm stitching this incorrectly and that those of you who routinely cross stitch these BAPs are just chomping at the bit to tell me (waving a big fat "Hello!" to Betty), but I just do not care one single little bit.

(I do, however, simply love love love tips and tricks, so if you've got any, I'll take 'em!)

Call it maturity or finally coming into my own or maybe, just maybe, the meds have finally kicked in, but I'm all done with any rules or negativity when it comes to this thing of ours.  It is my humble opinion that any time spent with needle in hand...whether it be a threaded needle with silk, floss, or yarn, or a crochet hook or knitting needle or quilting needle or rug hook...is time well spent indeed.

I love all forms of stitching, whether it be counted cross stitch, canvaswork, needlepoint, crewel, or embroidery.  I don't do any of them with any particular excellence, but that's perfectly fine, since I am not trying to be the world's foremost leading authority on anything at all, especially not on needlework.

I'm just a portly spinster with a sick little dog and shriveled up little kidneys who is trying to find her way in the world.  I stitch so that the Happy Chair remains my happy place, so that my mind and fingers stay limber, and so that I can feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself.  Stitching gets me out of my head, challenges me to try new things, teaches me perseverance and patience, and gives me heaps and heaps of satisfaction that does not result in me having to buy bigger sweatpants like eating something truly decadent does.

So...it's all good, my dears.  I'm just going to keep doing me.  You just keep doing you, and we'll all be fine together.  Keep those needles flying in whatever form you choose, have some fun, and come tell us all about it!


Sep 14, 2016

JUST A LITTLE BIT...

Vaceila came back out to play for just a bit more progress.  The good news is that I've cleared my decks for the day to give her my full attention.

Well, maybe not completely full attention.  Maybe seven-eights attention in between cuddles and belly rubs with Stewey Angus BabyDear Charming Little Skittles Willowswamp:

Happy Wednesday!  We're hurtling headlong into the weekend!

Sep 11, 2016

A LITTLE CHANGE OF PACE...

 Yesterday was my day to go play with my Hoosier Heartland stitchy sisters at the library, so off I went for fun and laughter.  I awoke feeling pretty punk, but a few hours giggling with these ladies made the rest of the day much better!

Our project for the day (taught by Miss Charlene Her Very Self) was Autumn Crackers by Marilyn Owen. These are cute little counted canvas rolls that, when finished, will look adorable in a pretty bowl.

(Or, if you are finish-phobic like me, you'll stitch them and then contemplate slapping them in a Michael's ready-made frame to be done with it.)

There is a lot of decision making to be made in terms of vertical vs. horizontal, colors, stitches tor borders, etc., but once you get settled it goes very fast and is very fun!

Here's where I ended up after spending most of the day stitching after I got home:


Today I am off for more adventure.  We are going to see Wicked, and I am so excited I can barely stand it!  Stewey is pouting that I will not be able to tuck him in my pocket for the performance, but I promised to bring him the playbill to add to his collection.

Speaking of my little love, he had a check in with the vet on Friday, and it looks like he is doing as well as can be expected.  He has lost two pounds, but I think we're managing to keep him pain free so far. He was absolutely wonderful with all of the techs that cared for him (he used to be rather fussy and had earned a bit of a reputation for being "high strung"), but yesterday he was so sweet that I started calling him Stewey Charming.  He is snuggled in for a morning snoozy, so methink it will be a yood Sunday after all.

That's the report for the day, kids.  I am going to enjoy my outing and then come home to do a little more stitching before getting ready for the week.  Here's hoping that your weekend has been fun and peaceful and that your needles are flying!

Sep 8, 2016

VACEILA IS MOVING RIGHT ALONG...

Still really enjoying my time spent with Vaceila each evening.  Here's the latest progress:

Sep 5, 2016

MORE FUN WITH VACEILA

Oh, what a lovely time I had on Saturday!  I wish I could bottle the feeling of spending the day with these women...I always come away feeling like I have finally made it to the proverbial cool kids' table, and if I'd just learn to keep my mouth shut I might be invited back again.

Vaceila has had a nice weekend thus far, and if plans come to fruition today we will spend most of it together in the Happy Chair.  I completed all of the cross stitching on the lowest section and moved the q-snaps to tackle the next.  I managed to get the edges of her cloak outlined during the game last night (Notre Dame lost to Texas 50-47):
I never did make it to the grocery for special cookout provisions, but I am pretty happy in my jammies at the moment, so methinks it might just be leftovers today.  I'd complain about that, but considering the alternative of having nothing to eat at all, I'll just be thankful and move right along.

Happy Monday/Labor Day!  Hope your needles are flying!


Sep 2, 2016

A LABOR DAY WEEKEND TO DO LIST

I wrote a rather extensive list of things to do this weekend and then promptly threw it in the bin.

Why write lists when there is so much fun to be had by careening from one thing to another without rhyme or reason?

I am going to to stitch with my stitchy sisters tomorrow, so I do have one small task to do in preparation for that...I need to pack up a project to play with..

Will it be Vaceila?

Or Poppers?

Or both?

Stewey will make the final selection as soon as he finishes his own little to do list tor the day.  I'm pretty sure that the only thing on it is to capture my heart, so he's good to go!

We're off like a herd of turtles, my dears.  Laundry is happily sploshing about in the laundry sploshing machine and I am soon to be sploshing about in the spinster washing machine...otherwise known as the big girl bath.

Hope you're having a fabulous Friday!  Do something fun and come tell us all about it!

Sep 1, 2016

A THURSDAY QUICKIE BEFORE CLIMBING MT. LAUNDRY...

Still really enjoying this!  More metallic last night, in addition to a little more dark blue...

Aug 31, 2016

WHO IS THIS PERSON, AND WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO THE SPINSTER STITCHER?!

When I sat down to stitch last night a very novel approach entered my tiny little brain.

"I'm going to follow the directions, use the tips and hints that I've collected over the years, breathe deeply, and enjoy this stitching."

And then I plunged into the sections that call for...gasp...shock...horrors abound...DMC metallic thread.

This stuff had been the bain of my existence from the very first time I picked up a needle.  I have approximately eleven hundren spools of it in my stash (OK...maybe that's a bit of a stretch), and every single time I tried to use it I ended up on the floor in a heap of teary frustration.

But this time I was determined to show it who's boss.

I cut shorter lengths than I normally would and I used Thread Heaven.  A LOT of Thread Heaven.  And, in a brilliant stroke of genius taught to me by Miss Vonna Her Very Self on her Twisted Stitcher channel on the Flosstube, I took it out of the container and wadded it up into a ball before pulling the thread through it.  

Can I just say that the beast was tamed once and for all and I love the way this looks?  



I'm pretty sure that my feelings about this will change by the end of this piece, since there looks to be a LOT of stitching with this stuff, but for now I am affixing the gold star to my forehead and moving right along.

Now all I have to do is hope that this same spirit will infect me when it comes time to bead this sucker. Somebody told me that there are 40,000 plus beads.  Or maybe it was 4,000.  All I know is that anything over 2 or 3 is going to be an enormous challenge for me, so...

Let.  Us.  Pray.

After three or four really bad nights, Stewey finally slept peacefully through last night.  He awoke this morning with his little eyes bright again and immediately complained that his tea was too tepid for his liking, so methinks today will be good as well.  He spends the majority of it sleeping in his little bed in the sun, but that's what he always did when he was well, so I am comforted by that immednsely.  

We're off for labwork and a few small provisions.  I am craving bagels with peanut butter like a crazy person, so that's what it will be.  I haven't decided on a Labor Day cookout menu, but I'm leaning toward ribs and pasta salad.  We'll see.

Happy Futzingday, dear friends!  

Aug 30, 2016

VIEWER MAIL

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to answer some questions from you, my faithfiul friends.  I have been remiss in doing so these last few months, but between running a Stewey hospice and keeping myself from finally going completely nuts...well...you get the gist.

Robin asked about my propensity for starting my pieces at the bottom.  I do this because I have the feeling that if I don't the stitches will all fall off the bottom of the fabric.  Weird...I know, but I feel like I am building something and start from the ground/foundation and work my way up.

Golden hair stitcher wants to know who I watch on Flosstube.  Will you allow me a few more weeks of playing with this before I answer?  Right now, I go to YouTube and type "Flosstube' into the search area and then just click away until my eyes cross.  I don't know how to select favorties or look for specific people yet, but...stay tuned.

Karen had a dream that Stewey was in her house.  I hope he behaved himself properly and that you had a moment to cuddle him and sniff his baby shampoo warm fuzzy little lovey self.  We had a very rough night last night, so reading that he was in somebody's dream was quite comforting.

Dale commented that Bosco and Stewey looked like they were getting along famously and asked if they were now sleeping together.  Um...not so much.  Stewey just doesn't have the patience for Bosco lately, but has decided to stop baring his little bunny teeth and growling whenever Bosco comes within eighteen feet of him.  

Elisa commented that Flosstube is mostly cross stitchers and wondered if there are any Flosstubing needlepointers out there.  Good question!  I would love to know the answer to that too!

needlenut10 wants to know what I will do with Olympic Good Stuff once completed.  Well, I have to imagine that it will go into the pile with all the other finished pieces...waiting for their final destiny.  

Grandma Andi made a nice comment that I am stitching while dealing with all that life is giving me at the moment.  Actually, i think I'm stitching BECAUSE of this crazy bit of bother.  It really is saving my life, as are all of you and this here blog.  Guess I should stick with it.

Kristen wondered if radiation might be an option for Stewey.  Thank you for the suggestion...I don't remember the reason, but I think Dr. Niemann mentioned that we wouldn't be able to go that route with him.

Melinda thought that the music might be the reason that synchronized swimming creeped me out.   To be honest, I didn't even realize that there was music involved...I was too busy getting creeped out.  maybe it's the nose plug thingies?

capecodgirl565 gets a shout out for using the word "feckless".  I love that word and wish I used it more often.

LIZ asked if I have ever considered writing as a profession. Oh, dear Liz....how kind of you to think that I might fit into that world.  I think, though, that for now I will just stand in the lobby and press my face up against the glass.  I admire so many good writers that I would never imagine being able to live in the same space.

Suzanne asked if I've watched You've Got Mail lately.  Would you be surprised to know that I've watched it twice this week, and it's only Tuesday?  What can I say?  YGM is the equavalent of a Xanax for me and given the goings on around here, I am reaching for it more and more frequently.

Cactusneedle gave me the excellent suggestion of replacing my dietCoke addiction with sparkling water.  To that end, I have invested in my very first pack of LaCroix.  I think you might be right on the money about the bubbles!

Both Gracie and Heritage Hall asked if I would be posting pictures of my haircut.  My dears, all I can say to that is...have you met me?  If I ever do post a picture of myself, it will be me sporting a brown paper sack over my head while standing behind a Range Rover.  But, thanks for asking.

CalamityJr solved the mystery and the math of Michael Phelps wingspan versus the height of the women's gymnastics team members.  Remind me to give you a gold star for that one, Calamity!

Bunny S wanted to know the issue of Needlepoint Now from whence Twilight came.  It's the March/April 2016 issue, Bunny dear.



I think that's it for today.  As I mentioned, we had a rough night last night, so methinks I might scoop my BabyDear up and head back to the big girl sleigh bed for some cuddles and a nap.  It's a little gloomy here today, and I did manage to get a few things done yesterday, so I won't feel too guilty about it.

Happy Tuesday, kids!  Please keep those questions and comments coming and forgive me for being so remiss in getting around to them.  I'll get better at it, I promise!

Aug 29, 2016

SUNDAY IN THE HAPPY CHAIR WITH VACEILA

You've heard of "Sunday in the Park with George"?  Well, I had a positively lovely Sunday evening in the Happy Chair with Vaceila.

A few confessions, firstly...

I am stitching this piece on 28ct. Irish linen evenweave tea dyed fabric that I bought at the Michael's with a 40% off coupon.  It cost $4.80.  My thinking was that I didn't want to invest twenty or thirty dollars in a gorgeous piece of hand dyed linen, and then have it languish in a drawer if I flaked out and stopped stitching this.  Can I just tell you that I am now a properly chastised linen snob?  This is absolutely lovely and perfectly suited to both the size and thread.

See that Sharpie?  Well it's a retractable Sharpie, and in a million years I never would have imagined how much of a difference such a small thing could make.  But I need to apologize to the Flosstuber who gave me this brilliant idea, since I was too stupid to record your name and channel, and now I feel like a genius for remembering to buy this at the Target, but I can't give you proper credit.  You did a video about the tools you use, and you basically explained how a retractable highlighter is invaluable...and you were right on the money, sister!  Something about being able to click the thing and mark the chart without having to fuss with a cap, etc etc is amazing.

Finally...my cheaters.  They, too are a Michael's purchase, and they too were cheap and bought with a 40% off coupon.  I think the original price was $4.99... so the end price was...well...cheap!  These are 2.5 magnification.  Normally I use 1.5 or 2.0 for canvas work, but I found that the little extra really helped by the end of the evening.

So all in all a very happy first session indeed.  I managed to watch two movies and a few Beachfront Bargain Hunts and left the ipad over on the dining room table to avoid distraction.  Both Bosco and Stewey settled in for the long haul and approved of my progress before we turned in for the night.

Today is all about getting a few things done so that I can get back to this.  I'm so glad that I decided to get it started yesterday...it is exactly what I needed!

Happy Monday, dear friends!  Hope your current piece is making your heart sing!

Aug 28, 2016

AND THEN SHE LOST HER DAMN MIND...

In an effort to get out of my current state of general ennui, I decided to really shake things up.  I blame the Flosstube for this, specifically Miss Emily from eclecticpossessions. She is one of the first stitchers that I started stalking (um, I mean following) on the damn thing, and as I flipped through her WIP's, one in particular stopped me dead in my tracks.

Herewith is my new project that will be started as soon as I brush my teeth, find my extra strength stitchy glasses, and get all of these supplies tidy and organized...
This is the Angel of Love by Lavender and Lace and I think it is just gorgeous.  Her gown in almost completely beaded, hence the big pile of Mill Hills...that in itself really makes me question my sanity...but I determined to give this a go in the spirit of stretching my wings.

Speaking of wings...here's a better pic.
I even think that I am going to name this beauty.  Moments ago, I immediately thought "l'm going to call her Vaceila".  That was my Mom's name, and for some reason the idea of angels...love...mom...just all fit together nicely.  Besides, I like the idea of saying to myself "As soon as I get this bed changed and this laundry put away I can go play with Vaceila."

So that's the big reveal today, kids.  I am going to spend some time with this today and promise to get back to Olympic Good Stuff in short order.  For today, though, methinks I just want something a little different.

Happy Sunday!  Hope your needles are flying and your playmates are exactly who and what you would wish them to be!

Aug 25, 2016

RE-KILTERING

We've been so completely off kilter around these here parts that we decided to make today all about re-kiltering.  I don't have one clue as to what that means, exactly, but stay tuned...Spinster v9.0 is on the horizon!

A little stitching yesterday afternoon, but not enought to crow about.  I am determined to finish this piece before the end of this weekend, though, since I am just crazy excited to start something new.  I am kitting it all up now and will show you as soon as everythig is in its little plastic box.

Happy Thursday, kids!

Aug 24, 2016

DANG IT

One silly little block.  That's all that I managed to stitch last night before giving in to the temptation of bad TeeVee and allowing my tiny little brain to click off for the day.

Phoooey.


I also notice that the outer right leg of the starfishy thing next to the phooey block is wonky, so that's going to have to come out before I can move on...otherwise methinks it will drive me further round the darn bend.

Happy Futzingday, kids!  Back in a flash!

Aug 23, 2016

TUESDAY TUESDAY

Just a quick progress update before I head out to appointments today:

Aug 22, 2016

WELL, THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED...

I am laying bricks.

As in, paving my way to You Know Where with my good intentions.

I sat at the dining room table with my planner and my pens and my stickers and my Crystal Lite and I wrote list upon list of all of the stuff I was going to accomplish yesterday.

Wanna know what got done?

I painted my nails and I took a nap.

Yup.  Nails and nap.  Not exactly a banner day in the productivity department.

I did stitch a few minutes last night during the Closing Ceremonies, but for some reason I just couldn't get myself into the groove and I just don't have enough progress to show at the moment.  I did, however, decide to stick with the piece until finished, since I'm pretty sure a few days of dedicated stitchy time should do the trick quite nicely.

The good news is that I see my kidney doc tomorrow and I can confirm whether or not this catatonia is part and parcel of the progression or if it's just all in my head.  If it's the former, then I promise to suck it up and stop complaining about it and just get on with things.  If it's the latter...ditto.

Stewey had a rough night last night.  His pain meds seem to be wearing off earlier and earlier.  I have a call in to his vet to see what we can do for him, but I can tell you that I am definitely not ready to lose him just yet.  Aside from an occasional whimper, he is still eating and drinking and playing and snoozing in the sun and just being his happy little self.  But those whimpers make me want to just rip my arm off to take the pain away from him, if only for a moment.

Bosco seems to be mending from his tummy issues, but I suspect that they are definitely Crohn's related.  He and I had a long talk this morning over Cheerios and cartoons, and I explained to him that worry and fretting are not good for him and that, for now, he should leave all of that to me.  He replied with an "OK, Aunt CJ" and then hopped down to go find a frog to put in his pocket.

The differences in these two boys never ceases to tickle me.  Stewey is....Stewey.  Quiet.  Contemplative.  Fussy.  He is the puppy equivalent of Little Man Tate, I think.  Very smart, but a little awkward socially.  Bosco, on the other hand, is a bisterous little tank of an imp, splashing through mud puddles and looking for his next adventure.  

So we're going to continue to muddle our way through today, and if the laundry happens to get done or some major stitching progress is made, we will celebrate accordingly and move on to the next item on that darn list.

Before I leave you, the entire cast and crew at Chez Spinster wants to send our most heartfelt HAPPY BIRTHDAY greetings to Miss Jane.  She has had so many troubles of late, so here's hoping that this next new year of being 29 (teehee) will be filled with nothing but peace, love, happiness, prosperity, and stitchyness!

WooHoo!

Aug 21, 2016

MAYBE IT'S THE MOON....

I sure wish somebody would take a look inside my punky little head and tell me why my silly little brain works the way it does.

(But if you could do it without messing up my hairdo, that would be swell.  It took me a long time to get my Snookie bangs just the way I want them this morning.)

Synchronized swimming gives me the creeps, but I am sitting here totally transfixed by rhymic gymnastics.  As I just asked Misses Charlene and Jane...aren't they basically the same thing, but one has water and the other has sticks and hoops and stuff?

The whole Lochte/ND thug thing has turned me into one of the old man muppets, sitting in the balcony bitching about stuff.  I am muttering and stomping around like these guys did something to me personally.  Why?  What is it about these incidents that has my drawers in such a knot?

In the case of Lochte, I think it's because I keep thinking about the swimmer who was fleeing her country on a raft, and when the boat motor failed, she and her sister jumped into the water, tied the raft to themselves, and swam it to safety three miles away.  THAT is an Olympian.  

The ND jackasses just make me mad.   There are enough reasons on this planet to hate Notre Dame without these idiots piling on.  I am so weary of the "we were just blowing off steam" excuse.  You're twenty something.  You have no freaking idea what steam is.

All of this brings me full circle to the rant that I spewed to nobody in the Target parking lot.  Every year, I tell myself to stay the heck away from anywhere remotely related to a storage solutions aisle the weekend all of the college kids come back, and every year I inevitably find myself trapped behind  some pouty brat staring at SnapChat while their poor parents try to figure out if the $99 futon really is a good deal, and whether it will fit into the rental van parked outside.

I just want to shake the bejeesus outta these kids and tell them a few things...like, for instance, the world is more than the eighteen inches beyond the tip of your nose.  Put the damn cell phone down, wipe that puss off your face, and show a little gratitude to the parents who are sweating your tuition, have taken a third mortgage on your childhood home, and are watching their retirement savings complain that the wifi signal is "like so totally weak in here".

For the other ninety-seven percent of you who are coming to college to work hard, keep your noses clean, and incur enough debt to sink a battleship...I say welcome.  Suck up every single ounce of fun, knowledge, happiness, and heartbreak you can these next four years because...and I'm really sorry to be the one to tell you this...adulting absolutely positively sucks.

Speaking of adulting...I am going to get my act in gear today and prepare a few things for the week ahead if it kills me.  Stewey and Bosco and I are all just...off...somehow, but we made a pact to get it together this afternoon.  This will mean snoozy naps in the sun, some laundry, some planner time, and lots and lots of stitching.

Speaking of which...I'll leave you with the latest progress pic of Olympic Good Stuff:





Aug 20, 2016

BOYS BEHAVING BADLY.

You'll note my use of the word "boys" and not "men".

As I made the mistake of watching the news tonight, I found myself hollering at the TeeVee "THROW THE BUMS OUT!!"

The first dumbass did what he did with the world watching, and then had the unmitigated gaul to lie about it and then hire a PR firm to justify his bad behavior.

Bad form, man.  Bad form.

And these dumb asses were all arrested last night.  Know what they have in common?  They are (and hopefully will be were) members of the Notre Dame football team.  Wonder how many other eligible high school football players would have enjoyed a $250,000 education and the opportunity to play on television every Saturday?

Speeding with drugs and a loaded gun in the car, assault, and resisting arrest.  Nice job, boys. 

I'm going back under the covers now...

Aug 19, 2016

BAD SPINSTER! BAD. BAD. SPINSTER.

It started out innocently enough.  I was just supposed to take a shower, put some clothes on, go get labwork done, and return some library books.

Eight hours later and I am home wondering who that crazy woman was that dragged me around from place to place putting things into shopping carts like a drunken coupon clipper.

I did go to the lab...check.

When I got into the car to head to the library, I noticed that my phone wasn't on.  One quick check of the battery confirmed what I should have known...dead dead dead.  So off to the AT&T store for a car charger (which I should have had anyway, but seeing how I never leave the house I figured I'd just get around to it eventually.)  (Today was eventually, apparently.)

I did go to the library...check.  But instead of using the drive up thingie to just return the books I went inside and browsed the new fiction section and checked out another three books.

This is where it went a little off the rails.

My car somehow magically turned itself from the library to the Targets.  I did get a few things I did need, like toothpaste and plastic spoons and Quilted Northern and cotton balls, but as I was passing through the cosmetic section, my eye went to the nail polishes.

I was immediately drawn to a lovely pinky brown type color and figured it would be swell for September.  So into the cart it went with a few treats I fished out of the dollar bins:

Guess what the name of the polish is?  I swear, I didn't know this until I looked at it moments ago because I did not have my glasses with me in the store:
Can you believe it!?!?  IN STITCHES!!

What kind of self-respecting Spinster Stitcher would I be if I didn't have my fingers and toes painted with a nail polish color called IN STITCHES!?

A disciplined gal would have called it a day at this point, but this is me we're talking about.

I went to the Michael's.  

My intention was to pick up a few skeins of floss for my next project, but I somehow managed to make it to the planner aisle.  Y'all know how much I'm loving playing with my Erin Condren life planner, so it would make complete sense that I would opt for a Happy Planner this time, right?  I'm still a little undecided as to whether or not I will make the switch next year, but in  the meantime, I have some new stickers to play with.

After all of this running around, I went totally and completely insane and ended up at Five Guys for a burger, fries, and....oh my gosh I can't believe I'm confessing this....please don't think less of me or delete me from your Palm Pilot....I....had....a....diet....Coke.

I gave up dietCoke some time ago because my nurse case manager told me to, but I just couldn't take it anymore and I totally caved.  It was only a small one, but I can tell you that the five or six sips of it that I managed to have while waiting for my burger were....nirvannah on steroids.

Bosco and Stewey are wondering why, after all of this crazypants shopping, I couldn't be bothered to get them anything, so as soon as I get my wits about me, we're going to head over to the PetSmart for a toy or two.

So that's that for the day.  I promise...back to stitchy updates tomorrow.  In addition to some progress on Olympic Good Stuff, I have the reveal of a project selection that will finally convince you that I am, in fact, a few bubbles off plumb.

Happy, happy, happy day to you and yours!   WooHoo!

MORE THINGS I LEARNED BY WATCHING THE OLYMPICS

1. Synchronized swimming gives me the creeps for some reason.

2. Water polo looks like something I could do....provided I could learn how to tread water and not just float on a floatie thingie with a beverage.

3. If you are an Olympic medal winning swimmer with blue hair, you are nine feet tall, and you travel in a pack of similarly recognizable individuals...you should probably learn to behave yourself like a grown ass man and not a spoiled little bratty idiot that gets caught acting like a dumbshit and then lies about it.

4. Olympic medal winning swimming post-party shenanegins have given me a potty mouth.

5. Platform diving.  Am I the only one that feels guilty for enjoying watching somebody fling themselves off a three story building?

6. Do you suppose that platform divers are actually afraid of anything, and if they are, would they be able to tell anybody?  ("I'm a platform diver and fling myself off three story buildings, but I'm terrified of ladybugs.")

7. Are there actual steps to the samba?  Or do you just jiggle about madly while pretending to walk across a hot waffle iron?

8. I would not be able to beat Usain Bolt in a race if I was driving in a car and he gave me a eighteen minute head start, tied one leg behind his back, and promised me a Krispy Kreme doughnut if I won.

9. Running the 100 meter dash is not for beefy gals like me.  Nor is gymnastics, diving, beach volleyball, cycling, or any other sport involving any amount of spandex whatsoever.  

10. As I watch the women's triatalon with waffles and syrup dribbling down my pajamas at 10:30 on a Saturday morning, it occurs to me that these ladies and I are not only very different...we might actually be two different species.

11. I feel like I have been on vacation for two weeks while watching these games.  But, what it is I am on vacation from exactly is completely beyond me.


DIVORCING JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN

In case you were wondering (and I just know you were), despite my status as a portly, yet lovable spinster, I do, from time to time, take a gander at the menfolk that pop up on the TeeVee.

For many years now, the one and only (OK, maybe one of many) that has captured my heart is the actor and soon to be known as the Former Mr. Spinster...Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

But for the last few days I find myself pining for and obsessively Googling (and oogling) another.  I am bewitched.  En-sore-sulled.  Completely captivated.  Last night, as I gazed fondly at my new crush, I actually felt a little case of the vapours come upon me.

(Either that, or I have finally stepped from the vestibule into the living room of menopausal hell.)

His name is David Faherty.
He was a professional golfer and is now a commentator.  I won't go into his full resume, because I want our newfound relationship to develop slowly, and I want to get to know him over a time span longer than the minute and a half it takes to read the average Wikipedia page.  But so far methinks he is charming and lovely and quite a snappy dresser.

(That last part, of course, was supplied by Stewey.)

But you wanna know what made me go positively weak in the knees?

I know, I know.  You're thinking it's the voice and the accent, right? (Mr. Feherty was born in Northern Ireland.) (Make of that what you will, but the guy could read the back of a cereal box aloud and I would puddle.)

Nope.  What got me about this guy is that...

He can write.

And by write, I mean write your socks off.  Turn a phrase, develop a tone, tell a story, and deliver a quip.

He did a little piece on NBC's coverage about why the Olympics are important last night, and I thought it perfectly captured all of the crap that's been rattling around my tiny little brain this week and turned it into something beautiful.  If you get the chance to see it, brace yourself and clutch your hankie, because it's good.

Damn good.

And I won't lie...the accent doesn't hurt anything either.

So, forgive me Jeffrey Dean.  There's a new boy bestilling my heart.  Have a seat and get yourself a beverage with your compatriots...I'll be back soon.

But for now, at least, my heart belongs to another.

(Cue the sappy music, please.)

Aug 18, 2016

A THURSDAY QUICKIE

The day is rapidly getting away from me, so just a quick stitchy update today:

This is called a Walnetto stitch.  Jean Hilton created it.  Isn't it swell?

Aug 17, 2016

CLUELESS

This little self-imposed news sabatical has turned me into a myopic idiot.

I knew that it rained here, and I knew that we got more of it than we had seen in quite some time, and I knew that the weather peoples were jumping up and down hollering "EIGHT INCHES!  EIGHT INCHES!", and I knew that Miss Jane had water in her basement...

But I was completely and totally clueless as to the extent of the devastation both here and in Louisianna.

Shame on me.

Please don't think poorly of me over what appears to be a total disregard for the plight of others.  I simply made a decision a month or so ago to stop putting things in my basket.

(In The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood, the Yayas are explaining what happened to Vivvie, and they say "She dropped her basket".   I always thought that was a simple, profound, and utterly perfect way to describe what it's like when someone simply cannot live in the world as it is for one moment longer and they just go...elsewhere...to regather their wits.)

Between Stewey's diagnosis, my own crazy health issues, family drama, the current political climate, war, pestilence, and famine, etc etc etc....my damn basket is just full to overflowing.  In what can only be described as the very first adult and wise decision I've ever made before in my pitiful little life, I told myself "ENOUGH CRAP IN THE BASKET!" and I stopped putting stuff into it.

This means that I decided to go headfirst into things like the Olympics and crazypants stitching projects and the Flosstube and spending hours upon hours doing nothing but cuddling my Stewey Little while reading Namcy Drew mysteries to him.

It's been great for my mental health, but I have to say...it really does make me feel like an uninformed boob that comes off as singing la di da, la di, da while the world crashes, floods, and burns all around her.

So...dear friends...if you are someplace that is having troubles of any kind, or if you are having a particularly rough go of it in your own pitiful little heart and you feel that I'm  not paying attention or give a flying fig, please don't fret.  I say my fervent prayer every night that all will be well for you and yours and hope that whatever ails you will soon pass.

On to stitching...

After a lovely evening out with my Church Guild stitchy sisters, I un-stitched and then re-stitched a few blocks of Good Stuff.  The varieagated just wasn't blowing my skirt up, I had a mis-matched blue, and my center double fan doubled was troublesome with both the texture and the hue of the thread.

So here is where we stand as of this morning:

I've cleared the decks for nothing but stitching today.  As you can see, if I have any hope of finishing this piece before the games conclude, I had better put the pedal to the metal!  I have, though, in the spirit of this newfound gentleness with myself, decided that I can continue to work on it through the end of August if necessary amd that I shouldn't ruin such a fun stitch with a crazy/frantic deadline.

Wow. Wee.  Who knew that turning 50 would mean I would start to get it?  Maybe I'm not so clueless after all...

Aug 16, 2016

TUESDAY, TUESDAY...ALL DAY LONG

I'm closing in on finishing the first of four sections of Olympic Good Stuff.  I have to say that this was the perfect example of why you should just put the needle down, walk away for a minute, and then take another look at your stitching before deciding to rip everything out.  Just before bed I decided that I didn't like anything in this section, and I was thiiiiiisssss close to tearing it all out when my better sense prevailed.  Today, in the light of day, after my coffee, and now standing a few feet away from it...me lovey!


So I suppose that this little life lesson will have to go into my tip book.  I am compiling a list of tips and tricks that help me be a better stitcher, and "JUST WALK AWAY" has got to be right up there with "DON'T POKE YOURSELF IN THE HEINEY WITH YOUR LAYING TOOL".

More Flosstubing is keeping me off the streets and out of polite society.  Is there any better thrill than connecting with somebody that you just know in your heart of hearts would really "get" you if you were to actually meet in person?  I swear...this damn internet thing is the salvation (and maybe, simultaneously, the total downfall) of civilization.  

Tonight, I get to have dinner with my Elkhart EGA stitchy sisters!  As I type this, it's only 10:30 in the morning, yet I am already getting all prancypants with the prospects of playing with my friends.  

(Hmmmm....I've been struggling to find the perfect stickers to use in my planner to indicate Guild meetings.  Maybe I should just get a bunch of ones that say "Play Date" and be done with it!)

Stewey and Bosco are still both under the weather.  Yesterday was a total bust in the sunshine department and today isn't looking much better, so I suspect that we'll have to haul out the sun lamps before too long or there will be hell to pay.  We do try to have a day or two a month whereby we pretend to be on the beach...Bosco in his little board shorts at Daytona...Stewey in his best summer weight linen aboard his luxury yacht...and me in my mumu at the Jersey Shore, but methinks the season has come to an end.  Time to pack and get ready for school.

Speaking of which...is it a little crazy that I love Back to School time like crazy, yet I do not have any children and am not a student?  Something about all of those school supplies and the prospect of new shoes and underwear and stuff makes me positively giddy inside.

Well, I suppose that's enough disjointed rambling for the day, kids.  I am going to get a little stitching in before I get ready for tonight.  Hope your Tuesday is swell and that if you are in these here parts or any other place where the rains came your head is above water!  (Hoosierville got seven inches of rain yesterday....yowza!)


Aug 15, 2016

MONDAY MONDAY

I had quite a marathon of stitching and puppy tending yesterday.  Both boys needed constant love and attention all day, so I planted my fanny in the Happy Chair, hit the remote "on" button and went to town.

Here are the results:

I really love how these Amadeus stitches turned out, and can I just say that they are both easy AND fun to do?:

I wasn't too sure about my color selection for these areas at first, but now methinks I like them:

So that's where we stand today, kids.  Another Monday morning has kicked off with the best intentions for a good week ahead.  After a quick trip to the Targets and the grocery, I am heading back to Spinster HQ for more stitching Olympics!

What's on your menu for the day?