IN WHICH I BECOME A...POOTER

SPINSTER, KNOW THYSELF!

 

THE STATE OF THE SPINSTER STITCHER UNION...

 

My fellow Dearies...

Today has been a good day thus far. I had a good long sleep and finally hauled myself out of the big girl sleigh bed after 11am! My JB was out and about for appointments and errands, and just as the coffee maker was sputtering its last bit of damn good into my big huge cup, he arrived home with good reports and a few bags of provisions.

After a wonderful hot and soapy shower and hair wash, I was off to visit with Dr Eskapalli...my kidney doc, who was anxious to hear all of the exciting details of the last month.

Can you believe it's been a month?! I was kind of feeling a bit behind schedule a few days ago, but Dr E assures me that a normal person (without all of my other issues) normally needs at least twelve full weeks to get this far, so I'm feeling a little better about being so "lazy" these last several days.

But in the spirit of keeping you up to date, I will tell you that my recovery progress remains slow and steady. I am becoming more and more confident taking care of Louie, and thanks to patience and excellent nursing while in hospital, I think I've learned what to look for in terms of trouble signs.  Pain is still an issue, but more and more a minor one, and I have weaned myself down to taking two Tylenol before bed instead of every six hours.

I've lost a fair amount of weight and continue to do so, and despite being free to eat "anything that sounds good", I am, for the first time in my life, consistently making good choices and have reduced my portion sizes considerably. I'm concentrating on protein, and am very very slowly re-adding fresh fruits and vegetables as well as higher fiber foods.

Energy-wise, I am still nowhere near my old self, and my ability to stand or walk for any length of time is really really limited, but I have a wonderful set of exercises to do for both upper and lower body, thanks to visits from physical and occupational therapists.

My greatest challenge right now is mental. (I know. Surprise surprise , right?)  My stupid to do list has grown arms and legs and is now learning to growl at me from various corners, and I spend a lot if time mulling all of the shoulds that just aren't getting done. CS2 is in desperate need of a deep clean, I am woefully behind in keeping up with bills, paperwork, correspondence, etc., and my poor skin and hair are definitely looking more Swamp Witch than Suburban Spinster.

(But...baby steps. I have to remember that at no time did one single doctor or nurse refuse to care for me because of my split ends or epic winter leg hair and post-menopausal beard/mustache situation, and last time I checked, not one visitor has recoiled in horror when coming in to check my blood pressure.)

So tonight I will have a light dinner and will watch a bit of something easy while Rich ushers the Notre Dame men's basketball game versus Duke. I'll put the game on for a minute or two to see if he's on camera, and then I'll head to bed early for another good sleep.

I am still so very happy and grateful and humbled by the love and prayers and encouragement that surround me. How did I ever get to be so incredibly blessed with such a beautiful life?

AND THEN...SHE STITCHED

 

 

OH...TAMMY!

I received another wonderful gift from a Dearie named Tammy. 

This little guy is called a Warmie, and he's weighted with lavender scented beads that can be warmed in the microwave for even more comfort. 

What Tammy didn't know is that this Warmie is the exact size, weight, and softness as Stewey! and I haven't been able to put him down. The feeling of aaaaaahhhhhh that washes over me is just indescribable!

Dearies....I am so grateful, humbled, and amazed by your support. I'm not sure how I got so lucky to be surrounded by so much love, but I know I will never forget it or take it for granted. Thank you!

Happy Thursday! We are home safely from a 7am dentist appointment for my JB. He is one step closer to getting his pearly whites completed! I managed to drive, sit in the waiting room with a book (!) and get us home without incident, so we're just going to tuck in for the duration.

(!) I haven't really been able to read or stitch yet, but I decided to just pick up my book and go for it, and if I follow it...great, and if I don't...that's OK too. I'm reading Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin, which is already a pretty dense and complicated read, but the writing is lyrical and I'm just letting that be the focus (rather than intricate plot points).

My hope for the weekend is that I can slowly tackle one room at a time and get us back to square. There is lots of laundry to be done (as usual), Louie supplies to organize and find a home for, Christmas decorations to take down (zip it, Betty), and things to scrub, polish, sweep, and fluff. Before you worry...I solemnly promise that I will be super careful and will not do anything to impede my recovery. I know that I am only four weeks post-op and will not be 100% until the 12-week mark, so the old/silly me that used to go at it like the Tasmanian Devil will sit this one out.

I've been asked a few times how my weight is doing, and although I took a rough path to do it, I've managed to lose 20 pounds so far. I expect that this will continue, since my appetite, diet, and portions have changed drastically. I don't have any dietary restrictions, and can eat anything I want (per Dr Thompson), but I am intuitively reaching for whole foods and lean proteins while very slowly re-introducing fruits and vegetables. I did a complete gut rest (nothing but ice water) for eight days in the hospital, and I think that really helped to get the healing started on the right foot.

(Yes...you read that correctly. EIGHT DAYS without one single sip of damn good! I'm sure the drugs helped, but I didn't have any withdrawal/side-effects!)

OK. Time to contemplate a little nap. 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend, Dearies, and that you get to do all the things! What's blowing your skirt/sweats/pajama bottoms up? Come tell me all about it!

LOUIE

Oh my goodness!  Susan, Her Very Self, has just done me in! I had absolutely no idea about THAT Louie, but I thank her for the info!

My Louie is from something I said circa 1995 when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and told my Lima sis Denise..."Until somebody like Chanel makes colostomy bags, I'm not getting one"...and then we talked about how having a colostomy was my very worst nightmare.

Fast forward almost thirty years, and here I sit...with a colostomy. But since we all know that my tiny little brain just seems a bit bent...here's the provenance of Louie:

I was in the big girl sleigh bed the first night home having my first proper meltdown when I heard "Louie...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship", and then I started thinking about bags...designer bags...like the aforesaid Chanel...then Hermes...and then finally it hit me.

Louie.

As in Louie V Tawn.

......

BECAUSE HE'S A BAG!

Get it?

So Louie it is. And today he went for his first follow-up with his surrogate Dad...Dr Thompson...who took great delight in meeting his little guy.

(This is where Annie might pop in and tell me to knock off the cutesy again. Do you remember Annie? She is the Dearie who gave me a good talking to about the joking and clowning around and playing the fool during dialysis with all of my Buzzy nonsense. And you know what? Her words stung mightily, but she was absolutely right to chastise me for making light of something so damn serious, because I think she thought I was making light in real life and beyond the pages of this here blog. But I wasn't. I was just trying to cope.)

So.

I am now the very proud caretaker of my two most precious little creatures in this post-Stewey era. Belly Bean is the OG and is, thank God, doing his thing very happily on the right side of my lower abdomen, and his new roommate, on the left side of my middle abdomen, is...Louie.

Now if you'll indulge me, Dearies, I'm going to go quiet for a bit. I have several important appointments in the coming days with my transplant team, gastroenterologist, nutritionist, physical therapist, occupational therapist, ostomy nurse, etc. I feel like an awful lot of information is coming my way, and I need to be on my best game to receive it all and get organized for this newest phase of my beautiful life.

Back in a flash...I promise. Please come tell me everything new and wonderful in your corner of the world!

THIS IS A GOOD DAY

 

Hello, Dearies.

Today is the best day yet. I was up super early and we were out and about by 8:00 for an appointment with Dr Thompson...my surgeon. Staples have been removed, questions have been answered, restrictions have been lifted, and I am just overwhelmed with gratitude for the progress I've made in these last four weeks.

I have a new normal now...a bit slow and tender, but each day there is a little spark of that hapless spinster who used to bumble her way through the most ridiculous adventures. I'm not quite back to full-on flower-squirting clown mode just yet, but...

Louie.

His name is Louie. (*)

Cheers, Dearies. I am still so very very grateful to you for the continued love and support. I hope that you have a fantastic Fat Tuesday and a Happy Chinese New Year and all of the other things that are happening today! 

Whatever fun you're having...come tell me all about it!

(*) You get Super Spinster status if you can guess who Louie is and how he got his name.

HAPPY DAY, DEARIES

 

Pain and I are having a conversation today, and have agreed to try to co-exist in moderation. I am nursing it with Tylenol, as I have been since two days post-op, but I do have something stronger in the event that conversation isn't enough.

I have always said "I am better with pain than I am with pain meds", but that was before I saw the effect that uncontrolled pain has on healing...no bueno. My trusted dear friends that so generously offer me their professional advice remind me often that there is absolutely no honor in suffering, and that BellyBean is safe thanks to the careful watch of Dr Thompson, my beloved surgeon on this case.

I had big plans for the day...laundry and showering and cooking and reading and stitching and all of the other things that rattle around in my brain, but resting with my face in the sun is my only accomplishment thus far, and I'm perfectly happy with that.

This little road trip isn't at all linear. There are a lot of twists and turns and stops and pauses and even a few retreats to feeling a bit worse rather than better than the day before. I suppose that selecting "surrender" as my word for the year was somehow clairvoyant. I meant it in the sense of surrendering stress and worry and the need to run run run and go go go, but now I see that it actually means surrendering control and the need to always be the boss of things.

I had the Blessing of the Sick from a priest when I was in the hospital. He spoke with a very heavy accent, so when he asked if he could provide this Sacrament, I thought it meant that he was giving me Last Rights. It was very odd, actually, since the only thing I felt wash over me was complete peace, since I figured there was nothing I could do but pray, and as he applied the holy oil on my forehead he actually prayed that I would surrender all fear and worry and just trust that all would be well and according to plan.

Yowsa.

So. No big updates or long lists of things I accomplished today, I'm afraid. But I'm here and very happy to be so. Blankets are tucked, heating pads are on, and for now I'm really enjoying the slow and quiet of a late Sunday afternoon.

Are you well, Dearies? Are you, too, learning how to live in the slow and quiet? Come tell me all about your adventures!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DEARIES!

 

MYSTERY SOLVED AND MORNING TREATS

Good morning, Dearies.

The candle mystery is solved. My dear friends Lou and Marissa are the senders! I have known them since my college days, and they are two of my very favorite peoples on the planet....true Dearies to me, indeed!

I was up and out early this morning for BellyBean labwork, and then we ran some errands. Nothing too exciting...just a car wash, oil change, gas station, and then McDonald's for an EggMcMuffin and an iced coffee.

(Betty, before you throw a tizzy, know that I am behaving myself perfectly in terms of diet, and both the EggMcMuffin and iced coffee are allowed.)

Time now for a nice shower, clean clothes, and a nice long nap. Stamina and strength aren't quite there yet, but each day gets better and better.

Thank you, Dearies, for your continued love and support! I am so grateful!

A MYSTERY GIFT

Dearies, I have been gifted candles from QVC, but don't have any idea of the sender! Please come forth, dear friend...via email if you prefer to do so...so that I may thank you properly!

My email address is: spinsterstitcher@aol.com

WEEKEND MIRACLES

The weekend was slow and quiet. Days blur into one another and things stand out. Like sunshine on my face. And a long hot shower. And Andrea Bocceli singing Nessun Dorma at the Olympics.

Nothing feels normal yet. No reading or writing or stitching, but I know it will come with time. Until then, there are lots more moments and miracles to collect and enjoy.

I am so...grateful.

 

 

THANK YOU, GOD

I'm still quiet. And slow. And not the person I was two weeks ago.

But I'm here. And I take my victories in very different forms now,  and celebrate the miracles with a lot more humility.

The healing of all of this is a great battle for me, but at the moment that I think "I just can't do it", I remember who I am and I get on with it.

Rich has been remarkable for a guy that is so...scared. I don't ever expect him to be able to be in the same room during nurse visits or procedures or anything else medical, but he has mastered the morning coffee tray, and keeping our home running, and tirelessly doing all of the things that allow me to just concentrate on getting better. For better or worse and in sickness and in health aren't part of our deal...but he's living it every single moment of 

every single day and I love him even more for it.

The outpouring of love and prayer has sustained me. I read your comments over and over again and am still in perpetual awe to be surrounded by so many truly perfect friends. Thank you for that.

I'm sorry for the quiet, but this is what I've got for now. My strength lies in my gratitude for you, Dearies, so I hope you will come tell me all about the miracles in your own little corner of the world.