Well, I knew it would happen eventually, but I am no longer able to receive a printed newspaper delivered to my door each day. And to add insult to this terrible "we're going to drag you out of your 1954 lifestyle by your hair" thing, I am no longer able to receive the New York Times Sunday edition delivered to my door either.
"Read it online", they say. "It will only cost you $1 a week".
Sorry, Gens Z, Y, ABC or whomever now runs my entire life...I want a newspaper. Real. Live. Printed. Paper. And I want it to be delivered at about 7am by a freckle-faced kid on a bicycle who will toss it up the stairs so that it lands with a satisfying THUMP on my H(heart)ME doormat that I scored at the Targets for seven dollars.
I want to remove said paper from the plastic bag that I will save for potty trips outside (even though Stewey has been dead for eight years) and take it to the kitchen table, where I will devour every word of it with my PopTart and 40oz cup of steaming damn good with Truvia and a splash of half and half, and then I want to find my special click-y pen that writes in the perfect shade of electric blue, and I want to do the Celebrity Crypto-quip, the Jumble, and the Sudoko while simultaneously reading Rich's horoscope to him and checking out what Snoopy is up to.
I want to page through Sunday circulars and clip coupons and recipes and learn about chili suppers and fish fries taking place at the VFW, and see pictures of high school kids doing amazing and wonderful things. I want to read the weather report for the week, roll my eyes over some crazy letter to the editor, and then I want to read the obituaries so that I can complain that they aren't HALF as good as they were when I was writing them, and then I'll close the damn thing and put it in the big basket of other newspapers that I've read and it will stay there until the pile threatens to topple over and I find a clear bag to stuff them into for the recycling pick up.
As for the Sunday Times...well, that was my box of chocolates for the week. I would read a section or two each day, saving the Book Review section for Saturdays so I could pour over it with the same enthusiasm I used to give Speed Racer and Rocky and Bullwinkle, and every year I promised myself that this would be the year that I read my way through the best-seller's list, one week at a time. I read the tiny love stories and the little quips about life in New York, and when I turned the page to the Vows section I held my breath a little to see if the featured couple was somebody I knew. (It never was).
I realize that the world changes and life moves on differently now, but tapping an iPad and swiping right or left or up or down just doesn't hold the same appeal as holding that physical paper in your hand, just like an e-book is never going to give me a page-turning fix.
Read it online?
Nope.
Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to fluff the bouffant and get dinner on the table. Thank you for letting me vent, Dearies. I hope your weekend is wonderful and that your needle flies and your paper thumps and all of the things that make you happy happen exactly when you want them to! Come tell me all about it!
That was a great article! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way
ReplyDeleteI agree as well. Fortunately the Orlando Sentinel is still available delivered, and I then share it with another neighbor. For those who like the games etc., I feel for you.
DeleteVery sad what has happened to the newspapers. I subscribed online and it totally sucked so I cancelled it. I used to love getting the Sunday edition of the Philadelphia Inquirer. My husband and I would read it all through the day with coffee. I miss those days too and actually still have recurring dreams about it.
ReplyDeleteAmen. Coni! Getting the SB Tribune in the mail stinks. Never read my online version either. And good old flyers from the stores…forget it. If you want to see the entire Martin’s or Meijer ad, you have to do so online.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with you! When it got to the point where they'd only home deliver 3 days a week (and it was super thin and didn't show up half the time), we gave up. I miss it
ReplyDeleteI miss the Sunday color comics most, but I was never much of a newspaper gal. Now I get my news from Stephen Colbert and The Daily Show.
ReplyDeletePreach it, Ms Spinster! My newspaper is threatening to end next year, and go digital only too. I won't be subscribing anymore if they do that.
ReplyDeleteAnd you can't put an iPad under the litter tray. Well you can, but it's not much use after that!
ReplyDeleteTell it like it is, Spinster! Or, should it be "like it was"? I don't like reading at length on screen, don't own a Kindle, but my days are numbered, even here in South Africa. It's a world-wide problem, I tell you! Grrr!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Coni! And throwing Speed Racer and Rocky & Bullwinkle into the mix gets two thumbs up from me. We still get the weekly local newspaper delivered, but even that is getting skimpy looking. Happy Saturday!
ReplyDelete. Love your sense of humour. You make me smile 😊
ReplyDeleteDitto!
ReplyDeleteBaby Boomer here. We are still able to get a real local paper but it's formatted and printed in the next city and delivered by mail 3 days a week. But we'll take that. I do not like reading a newspaper online!
ReplyDeleteAh yes! I understand completely. Our local paper comes 3 days a week also, I was totally crestfallen when I picked up a paper from a neighboring town. The darn thing was my town's daily paper with little boxes of news that were local news in each town. Very little local. Such a disappointment.
ReplyDeleteWe now read The NY Times electronically. But it is not the same. However, if you like word and game puzzles, the NYT subscription comes with several word games that are great - Marlene on Cape Cod.
ReplyDeleteAmen, and can we get a Hallelujah from the choir??? This is EXACTLY what I have been snapping and snarling about now for years. First they reduced the weekly paper 6 sheets. 🤬 Then they combined the Saturday and Sunday editions and now deliver the minimal piece of fish wrapper on Saturday. No, the Sunday morning paper is a treat to be savored over coffee and brunch. The morning isn't complete until you have grey-tinged fingertips from the ink smudging into your skin. (Unless you have a Carson that irons the pages for you, but sadly I don’t live and Downton, so no such luck.)
ReplyDeleteThey stopped the NYT Sunday delivery here too a year or so ago. At the moment I can theoretically get a Boston Globe Sunday delivered, except that my carrier has “car troubles” at least once a month.
Reading a newspaper on line is about as enjoyable as trying to make a full dinner over a candle flame. ~Ruth
have you submitted this here "rant" to the paper? Might just hit a few nerves with the readers (and maybe even the publishers themselves). That said, I don't even bother with a paper anymore. Nothing but crime and dribble or reports on events (that I could have gone to) AFTER the fact. And, I do like the Kindle - lets me read my book in peace at 2 a.m. without waking up my husband.
ReplyDeleteI reached the point when I had to drive 25 minutes on Sunday morning for the real thing. Then the cost of the paper rose to ten dollars. I reached my breaking point but withdrawal was tough. I do read the WSJ on line 6 days a week. Not the same by any means...
ReplyDeleteOK, had to do it - come back and point out the oddness in this AI-generated picture (left to right)...
ReplyDelete- vertical bar on backsplash
- no eye reflection on right eye
- extra tooth on left side of hippo
- title on newspaper, is that Hotness, Hotmess (either way it's misspelled) or Hot1o9s
- tile on right side backsplash is just odd - wierd sizes, etc
- what's up with the roll on the counter, shaped like a snail(?)
Not as terrible as the cow drinking coffee that raised a kerfluffle, still not good though. :-)
And the price for that online paper is ridiculous. I called to cancel mine and she gave it to me for $4.99. I asked how long that would last and was told as long as I kept the subscription. That was several months ago, and it is back to $16.99. I'm done!
ReplyDelete