This year I printed four recipes from the internets...all decidedly different than my dear departed mother's recipe that calls for "a dozen egg yolks, a pound of butter, a box of Swan's Down cake flour, orange juice, sugar and vanilla or whiskey and get the dough so it isn't sticky".
The other recipes made sense and called for only one or two eggs and three cups of flour and there wasn't mention of whiskey anywhere in sight.
(I'm absolutely positive the whiskey is for drinking.)
I. Cannot. Make. These. @&%!&% Cookies.
(Their real name is: koulourakia, and they are a Greek butter cookie shaped into twists and usually made and consumed at Easter. We always had them at Christmas.)
(I call them the @*$#%! Greek cookies.)
My sister and I had a long conversation and I started it by saying "Do you think Mom wrote that recipe for those @&-+! Greek cookies wrong and then intentionally left it to see which one of us would be stupid enough to try to make them every year thirty four years?"
At which point my sister said "Did you ever see Mom actually MAKE the &#@=! Greek cookies?"
I had to admit....I never did. I saw her make sour cream coffee cakes and wrap them like festive wreaths and give them to anybody who came within a mile of our house, but the $*-;-! Greek cookies?
Nope.
They just seemed to magically appear every year right around Christmas time and I would see her in her velour robe with her morning damn good and a couple of @4*%! Greek cookies.
And to further the mystery is a photograph of Mom and Aunt JoAnn sitting in velour robes at Christmas time with their heads tilted towards each other laughing. We always thought it was because Aunt JoAnn has a hole in her sock, but the more I think about it, I think they're cutting up over the fact that the third sister, Aunt Mary, made the &#@4%! Greek cookies each year and sent them to them, and there had to be ONE of us kids who would be dumb enough to try to make them every year.
(For the record, my cousin Brian makes them and they are...perfect.)
(And no, I have NOT asked him for his recipe thankyouverymuch. My recipe is written in my mother's beautiful handwriting, and hauling it out and destroying a perfectly nice kitchen is all part of the Festive Fun here at Spinster's House of Batshit Christmas Crazy.)
At least somebody appreciates the effort:
What a great story and childhood memories, and I loved seeing Stewey with the cookie!
ReplyDeleteIt looks like Stewey might have deposited that cookie right there himself, if you get my drift - are you sure they are meant to be that shape? I would definitely ask your brother for the recipe, just to compare with your Mum's, it would be funny if it was exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteAw Stewey - he looks very eager! Perhaps it needs tweaking? I know atmospherics and altitude play havoc with some things (fudge being one of them) so maybe an idea to compare with your cousin. Then blame the oven if it is identical! Maybe your mum missed out an ingredient? Add a footnote at the bottom of the page if so and your mum's written work won't need to be replaced.
ReplyDeleteI've made them from the Betty Crocker Cookie Book, & they are delicious.
ReplyDeleteMarilyn
Brian wouldn't be Aunt Mary's kid would he? Sometimes it's not the recipe, it's the touch. There's this thing called a Smokey Mountain Stack Cake. My grandmother made them. Using the same recipe, my cousin's are a delicious blast from the past. Mine look like the cat had a bad night.
ReplyDeleteOh Coni, while it isn't funny because I know you have tried every year to make these cookies, I am chuckling. Have a good Sunday!
ReplyDeleteAt least you are keeping your streak alive.
ReplyDeleteDon’t give up! For years I would try to make divinity and it never worked. NEVER! My family called it infinity because it was a never ending failure. Then one year, out of the blue it worked! Now I can make divinity with no problem any time rain or shine. Keep trying!
ReplyDeleteWe had problems with an old family cake recipe which we had made for generations. One year it didn't work. Nor the next. Nor the year after My cousin with a home economics degree called the flour company who said they used a different wheat variety now. We had to adapt the recipe. You might try talking to the flour company or your extension agent.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your dough is too warm, and should be chilled?
ReplyDeleteI tried making them once. The flavour was OK but the texture far too dry - I think I added too much liquid to bind the dough instead of trusting to the butter to do the binding during the cooking. Reason I haven't tried again is that the quantity in the recipe makes far more koulourakia than I want to eat!
ReplyDeleteI think you need a 1 pound box of flour (at least) for that much butter & eggs. & The whiskey is like the vanilla- the flavor remains after the alcohol cooks off
ReplyDeleteThis post is hilarious, just what I needed today. x
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your post about these cookies every year. Don't ever stop.
ReplyDelete