I'm not going to do it.
Not going to.
I'm not going to give in to the crazy chaos that has been trying to bite me in the rumpus this morning.
I awoke at the heiney crack of dawn, took my shower, brushed my teeths, etc, and headed out into the hinterlands for my second covid test and labwork. The plan was to get this all done, receive a negative result from Friday's covid test and chest x-ray and head to dialysis for treatment.
After waiting in the drive through line (next to an enormous sign that said "WAIT HERE TOR COVID TESTING") for about forty minutes, a security guard came over and told me that the covid testing line was at the back of the building.
(Insert expletives here, but only silent ones, because God forbid I act like one of the ill-bred heathens from last week.)
So I smile and wave my thanks and head to the back of the building.
When the nurse came out to gather my information, I explained that I had appointments for covid testing and labwork and she explained that the lab people weren't there today.
(But again...only silent ones.)
So she shoved the q-tip up my nose and then told me that results would be back in seven to nine days, not in the twenty four to forty eight hours they said on Friday.
From there, it was a very quick drive to dialysis, but I was met outside by one of the nurses with a torch and pitchfork (OK, maybe not really, but it certainly felt like that), and she very apologetically explained that I could not come in until I had two negative covid test results returned and verified by the health department, a papal blessing, seven forms of picture id, evidence of penance, and a receipt from the car wash that I had been cleaned and sanitized.
"I haven't had treatment since last Wednesday", I replied. "Isn't that eventually going to kill me?"
At which point she shrugged her shoulders and said "Hey, kid...you've had a nice ride. We all have to go sometime" and walked back inside.
(OK, so maybe that last part was just to see if you're still paying attention.)
Looks like I will be going downtown South Bend tomorrow morning at 5:30 and will have my d-chair treatments there for the foreseeable future.
In the meantime, I still need to figure out how to get the labwork done, since my family doc has called twice in the last ten minutes wanting to know if it's done yet.
La dee da, la dee da, la dee da.
I'm going to take my damn good, my book, and my stitching out to the bird chirping concert and will just pretend like this is a normal Monday.
How's your day going so far?