May 6, 2017


I was sitting in Planet Hollywood on the Atlantic City Boardwalk having lunch many many years ago. A couple at a table across the restaurant kept staring and gesturing at me, and I realized that there was a big mural of celebrities behind me on the wall.  Thinking that they wanted me to move so they could get a picture of it (because the husband/man kept holding up a camera), I ducked down out of the way so he could get a clearer shot.

The movie Sister Act was playing on the TeeVees all around the restaurant as I was making my way to the exit after lunch, and as I passed by the couple at the table, the husband/man said "Excuse me, I'm so sorry to bother you, but is that you?" and he pointed to the TeeVee screens where the nuns were singing and cavorting about.  "Could we have your autograph?"

I smiled (very sweetly, I might add) and said "Why, yes of course, it would be my pleasure" and I took the pad of paper that the wife/woman handed to me and I wrote :

With love and best wishes,
Whoopie Goldberg

Apparently, despite the image that I have of myself of being the youngest sister of Elizabeth Taylor and Sophia Lauren, I am a dead ringer for Sister Mary Patrick her very self.  And, more unfortunately, I do not at all resemble the real life actress Kathy Najimy (who is just so perfectly lovely)...I look like that character in all her glory.

But I did love the idea that the new Chez Spinster might be a convent, and it gives me the perfect idea for our retirement home/island/resort/casino complex: St. Penelope's Home for Wayward Stitchers.

The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting sweetly, and Bosco and I are headed to Goshen right after we hit that Starbucks drive thru and the McDonalds for a Happy Meal!  Then it's back to the Happy Chair for laundry and newspaper reading and that order, because I have done NOTHING it seems for the better part of a week except walk into walls and dream about a new place to put my underpants.

Hope your Saturday is swell and everything you want it be!


  1. O Coni
    wayward stitchers...LMAO
    I'm in
    Blessings Baa

  2. Where can I sign up? Sounds lovely.

  3. Thank you Coni, I needed that laugh just now. I purchased a long stitch kit last year and just started it, only to find I"m missing 5 colors of yarn. For the price of that kit, it shouldn't have happened and I just shot off an email to the customer service dept. Now I will try to regroup and find something else to stitch while I think of you & Bosco going to Starbucks & McDonalds. Have you ever taken him through a car wash?

  4. And P.S. - save me a room, please!

  5. Your posts are comical! LOL...

  6. No dogs in car washes! Learned that the hard way.....

  7. I'm in for a wayward stitcher home! Wouldn't that be fun?

  8. You do make me giggle. I'm definitely putting in my reservation to St Penelope's.... could be a wild time!!

  9. Sign me up for the casino/resort/convent!

  10. Dear Coni: you and Stewu make the place a home, not a location, you will Love living in an apartment! They do stuff for you!!
    Ruth in Oxnard Ca.

  11. Sounds like a novel title to me for a book you should start working on!!!

  12. St. Penelope's for wayward stitchers. Hmmmm. I'll have to look into that. Sounds better than anything else I've thought about. ;) Hugs & Prayers, Cathryn

  13. I fell in love with a Convent Nursing Home when I was ten years old and visiting an old lady we knew. The door was opened by a nun with the most beautiful, smiling, kindly face. She led me across a cool, wood-panelled hall, scented with beeswax and lavender polish. The sense of peace and calm was other-worldly and the only sound was a Blackbird singing outside. The rooms opened onto a quadrangle where Wallflowers bloomed and scented the evening air. I loved it and thought it must be wonderful to be in there and looked after by the nuns. Sadly, La Sagesse is no more.
    So, dear Coni, please put my name down for yours! xx

  14. Coni dear ~ St. Penelope's will be over-booked by tonight.
    Nothing wayward about exacting joy from every sweet moment of life in the company of kindreds. I say we go for it.
    Robyn - Guessing the interior of the car needed a good
    washing as well. LOL
    Lynda - Your description so vivid, I felt the peace and
    fragrance of that holy atmosphere...St. Penelope's
    would be like that, with Mother Superior Coni in

  15. Oh my god, wish I could have seen their faces when they read the autograph! The new "Home" sounds peaceful. lol

  16. Oh that is so hilarious!! Should we just call you Whoopi from now on?