(What do you call it when a sister wants to murder another sister? Spinster-cide?)
I'm pretty sure that I won't see Aunt Chrissy again until sometime in February. What she had hoped would be a fun and rewarding weekend turned into yet another episode of "Why the #&$* don't I just put her in a damn kennel and forget about it."
All she wanted to do was deliver some toys to the Toys for Tots collection going on over at the WNDU television studios. So on Friday night, Aunt Chrissy carefully selected a cart full of fabulous toys that would appeal to both boys and girls of all ages.
"I really want to do something in honor of Mom and Dad this year", she said. "So we're going to get up bright and early so that we can deliver some toys to the Marines over at WNDU. Pick me up at 8, and I'll treat you to a Starbucks on the way over."
Did you know that I'm not exactly what you would call a morning person?
Well, Aunt Chrissy found that out the hard way as we were driving away from the toy drop, all weepy and satisfied that at least a few additional kids would have some cool toys for the year, when...KA-SPLASH!!!! I spilled my Venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte all over the freakin' place.
(I thank you, dear sweet Jesus that I did it in MY car and NOT Aunt Chrissy's fancypants sports car.)
So the trip to deliver toys turned into a 45 minute trip to the Drive and Shine, where my little sister basically had to bribe the guy to open up and wash the damn car already, and oh, while you're at it, could you please see about cleaning up the big fat hairy mess that my incompetent idiot of a sister made all over the console because she's too stupid to know how to drink a cup of coffee and drive a car at the same time?
(It was 21 degrees outside and raining. The Drive and Shine guy was not amused.)
So then it was on to the Bob Evans for sustenance, and finally, the grocery store. Just when I thought I was going to have to find a nice warm blanket for my new dog house, Aunt Chrissy hands me a card and says "Here. Go shop for a senior citizen and get them some puzzle books or something."
(The grocery store has a tree at the entrance on which hang tags listing things that senior citizens from Real Services would like to have for the holidays.)
Do you know what the very best part of this little adventure was? Well, it was the fact that when I decided to do a "coffee themed" collection of items for my senior citizen, Aunt Chrissy didn't even bat an eyelash.
You have to love that about my little sister.
(Next time, remind me to tell you what she did when my fridge went out and the fix-it guy couldn't be here for a week and a half. Let's just say that there's a guy standing in the little fridge aisle of the Lowes saying to himself "Man. That little spinster isn't kidding around. She pretty much told me that I was going to get that little fridge off the shelf, pack it up onto a truck, and then deliver it to her big sister's house, and I was going to enjoy every minute of it." I wonder if she'd like to come work for us and get this place in shape?)
So needless to say, I am settled in to my finally decorated house, wondering what the hell I ever did to deserve such a good little guardian angel.
On the stitchy front, I started L'Hiver from Birds of a Feather on the 28ct. Barn Owl linen that the cart calls for. Sometime in the year 2047, it will look like this:
But for now, it looks like this:
You have to really pay attention when you stitch this, and we all know how much luck I have doing THAT particular little task when there are handsome men on the TeeVee. I finally had to switch to re-runs of The Real Housewives so that I could do more than three stitches at a time before getting distracted.
I'll leave you with a few pics of Chez Stewey. If you're tired of hearing about and reading about and looking at all of these bloody decorations, then I bid you adieu here, and you can go on about your fabulousness without having to look at them. If, on the other hand, you'd like to see what a month and a half of planning and one very exasperated little sister will get ya....enjoy: