My mom can't come to the blog right now. She has thrown herself dramatically across the fainting couch while mumbling something about me no longer being her "Baby Dearest". I have no idea, really, what the heck this means, but I suspect that it has something to do with my Valentine's Day.My girlfriend, Miss Carmen, always sends me a fabulous package full of wonderful things to remind me that she is my one true puppy love. This year was no exception, and as you can see from the photo above, I was spoiled with all kinds of lovely goodness. Isn't she swell?
Anywhoose, my stupid mo-ther has been moping about the house these last two days with a puss on, and I think it has to do with the fact the she hasn't had a Valentine since circa 1972. This would have been during her Athens, Tennessee years and I believe that Alan Carpenter was her kindergarten boyfriend. (I don't know this to be certain, but I gleaned as much when I read her journal from that year...something about him giving her a kiss in the lunch room and Mo-ther socking him on the arm in return.) (And she wonders why she's single?)
Then, just when I thought that the old lady would just give it a rest already, she whipped out the photograph of her high school boyfriend, and started to make kissy noises at it while wondering what color they would coordinate for the Prom.
She's nuts, I tell ya. Just nuts.
Valentine's Day doesn't normally send my mom into a tailspin, but based on the size of the salad that she hauled home from the Martin's last night, I'm guessing that this one was rougher than usual for her. I tried to give her love and affection, along with some sage dating advice, but all she wanted to do was sit in the Happy Chair and watch bad TeeVee. So I have to ask...what was I to do?
On the stitchy front, Mom did start Mr. Tony's Stars project, but she seems somehow confused by the color selection that had Aunt Ruth pull for her. She got a corner done and threw the canvas down while muttering something about it looking like appliances from the 1970's. (What the hell did she expect? You can't put Harvest Gold and Avocado Green and Chocolate Brown together and not reach for the macrame plant hanger.) She'll fix it though, since I heard her muttering to herself as she stepped into the bath that today would be the day that she would finally get her stitchy act together.
I've got a crazy little squirrel that keeps coming up to the back patio window to taunt me, so I suppose I better get out there and teach the little bugger who's in charge around here. I figure I'll lure him to me with the promise of some peanut butter toast and then we'll have "a talk".
Happy Tuesday!
With love from your pal,
Stewey
Well, Stewey, I am not surprised, AT ALL, that you received great Valentine's gifts. But remember that Valentine's Day is not always the easiest for everyone. But it seems you did try to console Mo-ther. Today is another day, and Valentine's Day is now gone for another year. I am sure Mo-ther could use some hot tea and biscuits and a warm blanket.
ReplyDeleteTell your mother to be patient with Stars. You really cannot tell a lot from one little corner. I changed my colors totally. And I tweaked those colors twice till I got what I wanted. She may need some vino with this project...
ReplyDeleteAw Stewey be patient with Mo-ther...Valentine's Day can mean the best of times, or the worst of times. Give her lots of wet kisses and things will suddenly become right with the world once again!
ReplyDeleteWow, Stewey, Miss Carmen sure does love you! That's a real treasure trove there. But make sure you tell your mo-ther that there are plenty of us who treat Valentine's Day just like any other day of the year. And sometimes we single girls have to treat ourselves. I just bought the new Chris Pine action movie out on DVD today and plan on sitting in my Happy Chair for 98 minutes of pure entertainment. Tell Mo-ther to pop in a JDM movie and I'll bet she'll cheer up in no time!
ReplyDeleteAs for the retro-inspired stitching, I say Go For It!!! Retro can be relaxing and those colors are gonna come back some day!
You gotta be firm with those squirrels, they are sneaky!
ReplyDeleteLOL at the 70's macrame references...
Stewey, thanks for the update. So sorry that mo-ther's Valentine's Day wasn't as good as yours. However, you really are well thought of, aren't you. Perhaps, next year you could send out some reminders for the sweet spinster. Give that squirel Hell, Stewey!!! :D Cathryn
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