Feb 10, 2011


Nice Customer Service Lady: Thank you for calling Target Customer Service, may I help you?

Stupid Spinster: Um, yes, I need to speak to somebody in Customer Service.

Nice Customer Service Lady: This is Carrie. How may I help you?

Stupid Spinster: Hi, Carrie. This is (name deleted at the suggestion of Stupid Spinster's dog who pointed out that once you read this you will surely Google me to see if there is some kind of photograph of the stupidest woman on the planet), I need some help with a credit that hasn't been processed on my credit card yet.

Nice Customer Service Lady: Sure. I can help you with that. Do you have your receipt handy?

Stupid Spinster: Uh, no, I don't. I seem to have misplaced it. (She paws furiously through a basket of mail, bills, paperwork, and magazines that seems to have taken on a life of its own.) Can you just look it up without the receipt?

Nice Customer Service Lady: Sure. Let me get your name, address, and phone number.

Stupid Spinster: blah blah blah blah blah

Nice Customer Service Lady: OK. I see here that you returned a blah blah on .... and that we credited your account immediately.

Stupid Spinster: No you didn't.

Nice Customer Service Lady: ??? Um, yes, Ms. blah blah, I see here that we credited the full amount to your Visa card ending in blah blah.

Stupid Spinster: Well, that money hasn't shown up in my account yet and I am pri-tee darn miffed about it, sister. That's a looooong time for a few electronic blippity bleeps to make their way from your store there on Main Street the whole two and half blocks down to the bank right there on Main Street isn't it?

Nice Customer Service Lady: ??? (rolls her eyes at her fellow nice customer service associate). Ms. blah blah, did you, by any chance happen to call your bank? Perhaps it's on their end?

Stupid Spinster: OK, I'll give them a call.

Nice Banker Lady: Hi, this is Michele in Customer Service at blah blah bank. May I help you?

Stupid Spinster: Listen up, Michele. I want my money and I want it now.

Nice Banker Lady: ???!!! Um, ma'am? Can I help you with something?

(The entire story is recounted in a clippity tone by the Stupid Spinster and then she puts her hands on hips and starts tapping her toe...for emphasis.)

Nice Banker Lady: Ms...blah blah. I see here that the credit was issued by Target on such and such a day and that the full amount was immediately credited to your checking account as per the agreement on your Visa debit. Do you have access to your statement online? If so, you will see that the credit appears on such and such a date and does indeed show the full amount being credited.

Stupid Spinster: ........ (sounds of crickets chirping)

Nice Banker Lady: Ma'am? Is there anything else that I can help you with today?

Stupid Spinter: Uh, well, uh, I guess not. Thank you. You've been very helpful.

(As the Spinster hangs up the telephone, the little dog utters a sigh and heads for the drapes....)

Here's what I'm working on on the stitchy front...Winter Sky by Ms. Laura J. Her Very Self. As I commented on her blog, if the winter sky actually looked like this here in Hoosierville, we probably wouldn't wish for the Spring so much!


  1. Oh, too funny! You are a hoot! I hope your day goes well, and Mr. Stewey is warm in the sunshine.

  2. At least you didn't make your faux pas in person. I ALWAYS make 'em in person. :(
    Are you going to use the colors called for on the gorgeous LJP or are you going to add some fun spinster flare? :)

  3. How's your Corsage coming?

    Better than Sharon...I have tried to return stuff purchased at Staples to Best Buy (they carry the same Item, and far be it from me to check the receipt) Talk about feeling about 2" tall!

  4. Hi there! I recently stumbled across your blog and stuck around because it's just so much darn fun! You have a terrific sense of humor and a great writing style. Thanks for this story, it made my day. :)

  5. Oh dear. I hate when I get a good miff going all for nothing. Nice stitching stuff!

  6. Oh boy...time to wash the drapes again.

  7. Surely, you had to press uno for English, and 2 to reach the main menu and 115 for discuss returned items credited to your account! I hate have to deal with customer service of any type!

  8. Priceless! Thank you so much for my morning laugh! Thank heaven I've gotten smart enough not to drink anything when I read your blog! :D Cathryn

  9. Oh my gosh you are way to funny, I think we all have had a day like that and life goes on, is Stewey still behind the curtain?
    Peace to you

  10. LOL Coni! I have done the EXACT same thing. I think there is a special place in heaven for customer service reps.

    Kisses to Stewey..

  11. "Cough"...."cough" excuse the dust flying but since discovering your blog this week.."cough" I've refused to read any more current postings until I have caught up with the past. So I've been in the bowels of the archives (hence the dust) reading until my eyes go blurry..."cough". I just couldn't wait any longer to let you know that you are such a hoot! I can't tell you how much you are making me laugh and giggle...(giggling is not only reserved for little girlies only you know). I'm heading back to the past...give Master Stewey a healthy rub for me and let him know, thumbs up on his name!

  12. HA! HA! I'm sure we have all been there at one time or another, but like Edy, I end up doing it in person. That really makes your day!

    Hope you have a great weekend and can't wait to see the start on the new LJP design.

  13. Well....all I have to say is: " " :)

    I laughed out loud because I can tell you that it has happened to me one time, except I didn't have the common sense to shut up and hang up....LOL! :)

  14. Having worked in customer service for a financial institution in the past, I was rolling on the floor laughing at the rendition of your phone conversations. Don't worry, you are not alone.

    Winter Sky is gorgeous! Looking forward to watching your progress on it!

  15. Don't cha just hate it when you put your foot in your mouth like that? I sure do, but I keep on doing it anyway!

  16. LOL! I think we all have been there done that. We just have to forget about it and move on!!!!!

  17. Don't you HATE that?? I've done similiarly stupid things - acting annoyed all the while. I don't think I could have related it so hilariously though - thanks for the laugh.