OLD LAME SIGNS, MY FRIENDS. OLD LAME SIGNS.

Do you ever hear a song that you've been singing your entire life, and suddenly you realize that you've been singing the wrong words? This question entered my tiny little brain a few minutes ago when I saw a commercial with the "I've Got A Brand New Pair Of Rollerskates" song playing in the background. (Don't ask me what the heck the commercial is for....all I know is that there's a little kid in a seat thingie and he/she/it is flying through traffic to Grandma).

(I really need to stop drinking funny concoctions so early in the day....)

Anywhoose, I was thinking about that song and how it used to come on the radio every morning in Athens, Tennessee when I was getting my hair fixed for school, and how I used to belt out what I THOUGHT were the words..."I've got a bear with a pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new me", and Mom would stop with the brushing and tugging and general pulling of my mess of a head of hair into Buffy tails, and then she'd look at me and wonder if I would ever make it out of kindergarten. (I did, but just barely.)

(Oh, come on. You know what Buffy tails are. Think! Remember the show "Family Affair" with Brian Keith and Sebastian Cabbot as Mr. French? Remember Buffy? Well, there you go then. Buffy tails.)

(What can I say? We Rich girls were blessed with a TON of hair and to this day I don't think I've ever felt comfortable just letting it hang down in all it's fuzzy/curly/messy glory in public. Ponytails are a MUST with this particular monkey, thank you very much.)

(Oh, who am I kidding? Me wearing my hair pulled back is a direct result of a rather unfortunate incident involving a broken ponytail holder on picture day and a school picture that was labeled "Cousin It Goes to School" and then promptly stuffed back into the envelope it came in.)

But I regress.

I realized today that I almost never sing out loud. Forget the fact that my voice could spoil milk right there in the very carton....I just never seem to feel compelled to really belt out a tune. Not even in the shower.

So tomorrow night, as Aunt Chrissy and I stand up to watch the ball drop (why the hell we always stand is beyond me), I promise to just belt it right out.....OLD LAME SIGNS, MY FRIENDS. OLD LAME SIGNS.

Here's the New Year's wish from me to you....

I hope that 2011 is a year of utter joy and happiness and peace and health for every single person on the planet. That every war is ended, every wrong righted, every cupboard overflowing, and every heart filled with love. And, most importantly, that you are blessed with everything you hope for and nothing you don't. Happy New Year!