SHE'S NOT LAZY...APPARENTLY, SHE'S PACING HERSELF

The level of activity here at Chez Spinster has crawled to a complete stop. Apparently, the ever burgeoning blossoms of SpringTide have rendered my stupid mo-ther incapable of doing anything productive with her time. This morning I caught her sitting in the Happy Chair watching a trio of ducks eat breakfast. What the hell comes next is beyond me.

The good news is that I obtained a catalogue from the Tractor, Farm, and Fleet Co., and thanks to my nifty little AMEX card, a brand new cattle prod should be here by the week's end. I might have to ask Aunt Chrissy to come over to show me how to use it, since I'm fairly certain that she has intimate knowledge of these things. (Let's just say that my Aunt Chrissy can be a very "effective motivator" and leave it at that).

Speaking of the dear heart that would never ever hurt or smack her little baby nephew, she came over last night with a present for Mommie Dearest. This whole Tudor thing has the two of them calling each other "Your Majesty" whenever they talk on the phone (which is all the time, by the way), and every time Aunt Chrissy says "After you, Your Grace", Mom dissolves into a puddle of giggles. (I swear, sometimes I think there's a special place in Heaven for pups like me that get stuck with idiots for their people.)

Anywhoose....here are the Tudor Rose scissors and Crown needle minder. Aren't they pretty? You can also see the ridiculously pitiful progress Mom's making on Strawberry Shortcake. I'm not sure why the heck she didn't just push through to finish that second block, but I overheard her mutter something about wanting to save the stitching with the Belle Soie silks for today. This leads me to think that she's savoring those center pieces in the exact same fashion that she has been eating the giant bag of peanut M&M's that came home in the Target bag....just a little taste at a time.

This, of course, will go down in history as the first time my mo-ther has ever done ANYTHING in moderation, so I suppose it warrants a few pats of encouragement from me later today. I hadn't planned on paying any attention to her this week, but apparently a few little noodges from me every now and then gives her motivation to actually move a limb or change out of her sweatpants. I know, I know. It's not much. But at least it let's me know that she's still in there somewhere. Damn Mommie.

I do hope that you are in the midst of a fabulous week and that your own level of production is exactly what you need it to be! Stay tuned for the cattle prod application results. Until then, I remain....

Your humble and loving pal,
Stewey