IT'S A GOOD THING STEWEY'S IN CHARGE

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's too busy running around the house like a crazy person chanting "Books, books everywhere and not a one to read" (or something to that effect). She's also miffed because I've taken away her debit card until she can promise to use better control when in a book store or, God forbid, a needlework shop. She may, however, go completely hog wild when in PetSmart.

It all started when she disappeared last night to the local Borders. The store is less than a mile from the house, so she figured if she got into too much trouble and had to be rescued, I could be there in a few minutes. Apparently she was looking for a big fat book to read for the summer, but she ended up coming home with these instead: As you might be able to see from the titles, she was hungry while she browsed. I thought this only applied to grocery stores, but let me be the first to tell you: never shop for books when you're hungry. The top three books are foodie books, and I found out that she would have come home with all three Ruth Reichl's, but the store didn't have them in stock. So it looks like we're going to have to make due with Gordon Ramsey, Anthony Bordain, and Julie Powell for now. (Mom has been in a tizzy over the upcoming movie about Julia Childs ever since she saw a preview for it, so I suppose she decided to read the book first to keep her from peeing herself in anticipation.)

My favorite author, Garrison Keillor is on the bottom of the pile (well, he's not, but his book is), so I hope that's not an indication of when she intends to get to it. Mom is nice enough to read to me at night night time so I suppose that I shall have to wait to see when we can go to Lake Woebegone once again.

I thought I would share a few pics of some of the other places the old lady has used to park all of her books. Now before you call the authorities, you should probably know that most of these books have been collected over her long-ass lifetime. You see, mom doesn't lend books out because of the line in "Out of Africa". Lemme see if I can re-create it for you:

MS (this would be Merrill Streep, don't you know): Oh, you've caught me snooping.
B (this is Barkley): It's OK, it's not my room. It's Denis's room and Denis won't mind.
MS: He has lovely books. Does he lend them?
B: We had a friend once...Hopworth. Denis lent him some books and he didn't return them. I said to Denis, "You're not going to lose a friend over some silly books, are you?" and Denis replied "No, but he has".

(Cue applause).

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! That was the Stewey Players with a scene from the Oscar award winning hit "Out of Africa".

(Oh, sorry...I digress.)

Anywhoose, my point is that our house will eventually fall in upon itself due to the weight of all of these books. Mom thinks it will be her stitching stash that will do us in, but according to my very careful and scientific calculations, I am sure it will be the books.

There are books in the bedroom:


There are books in the dining room (the wine is mine, by the way...my special wine cellar is on back order): And there are books hidden in the office: You've already seen the books in the living room, so I won't bore you with a reprise of that mess. Suffice it to say I've got a TON of reading to do!

Mom didn't stitch last night, but she promised me we will get back to the "Big Zipper" project this afternoon. I keep reminding her that she hasn't touched her WIP basket in quite some time, but she seems oblivious to the need to get these things finished. I heard her tell a lady once that it's bad luck to have ALL of your projects finished because of the whole Charles Shultz thing (*), so I guess she's trying to keep her karma on the plus side of things.

That's my report for today, kids. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to tuck into my perch with a good book or two and see if I can't do something to raise the level of intelligent discourse around here today.

Thanks for stopping by!

Love,

Stewey

*The Charles Shultz thing: On the night before his final Peanuts strip appeared, Charles Shultz went into his studio, put away his drawing things and said "Well, that's it now". And then he went to bed and passed away. My mom took this as a lesson to always have something pending that will cause you to have to get up in the morning.