CRAZY IS AS CRAZY DOES, Y'ALL

Please don't be alarmed and/or change the dials on your television sets, folks. This is me...officially 'round the damn bend.

Dr. Drew Pinsky of "Celebrity Rehab" fame has been called and should arrive at any moment with a camera crew and some medication for what has proven to be "The Gentle Madness of a Spinster Stitcher Who Clearly Has Too Much Time on Her Damn Hands".

It all started innocently enough (as most all things do). I was thinking about retrospectives and their place in the art world when I wondered what it would be like to have a retrospective of one's stitching year. I started to envision the gallery space. The lighting. The Chris Botti soundtrack playing softly in the background. Ina manning the ORE-DERVES table. The hunky waiters passing out champagne.

And then I regained consciousness. Who in the holy hell would ever want to go to such an affair?

So I did the next best thing. I devised a method whereby I can look at a row of little jars containing orts and I will instantly be transported back to the project or time when I was stitching on something and having the most profoundest thoughts.

For the first time in my adult life, I was actually able to EXECUTE my vision. So often I have these really great ideas (in my pea-sized brain anyways), but when it comes to actually DOING the thing in said pea-sized brain, I fail. Completely and totally and miserably. (Kinda' like the time I saw a perfect English tea garden in my head and then ended up with a patch of crappy dirt and rocks the size of a bedspread.) (Or the time I envisioned the perfect Mother's Day Hummingbird Cake, but ended up with a soggy, disgusting mess because I didn't use self-rising flour.) (Or the time.....). Well, you get the idea.

So I'm going to put all of my orts in these little jars (starting now, of course, because I can't go back and retroactively retrieve all of my orts from Jan, Feb, and Mar...heavy sigh), and at the end of the year I will be able to look back at my progress and be amazed. Or disappointed. Whichever comes first.
I bored myself right into a nap with the "Traveling Stitcher" thingie, so I put it away after getting this far:
Then, late last night I got some Shepherd's Bush mojo workin', so I headed up to the studio and found this: It's "Shepherd's Spring" and despite my craptastic photographic capabilities, I assure you that the linen is a lovely lavender color called English Rose. This one uses all silks, so the feeling of it all is just divine.

Speaking of divine, I am still rather haunted by "Grey Gardens". Stewey has informed me that if I don't stop waltzing about the place in my turban he's going to sick Aunt Chrissy on me. He has also informed me that a) I am (in no way, shape, or form) heiress to the BOO VEE YAY fortune, and b) Jackie Kennedy Onasis Her Very Self if NOT going to show up with a generous offer of cleaning up this place.

I suppose that means I had better go empty the dishwasher and put the laundry away. The little bast*** runs a tight ship around here, so if I want to have any stitchy time tonight I better get my chores done.

Have a simply sublime day. (I'm sure I have no idea what that actually means, but you get the idea.)