SO MUCH FOR MY CAREER AT BEST BUY

Sorry, kids. For the last three days I have been a) fighting with this silly box on my desk trying to get it to just understand me and b) making lots and lots of friends at HP in India. (Hi, Raj! Hi Benizir! Hi Mohatma!)

Anywhoose, I have no idea why you just can't push a button and do what it is you need to do at any given moment of the day. I mean, come on, my microwave knows that when I push the "Add Minute" button it means that I need the remaining three sips of joe to be searing hot enough to motivate me out of the Happy Chair for the day, so why can't this freakin' computer just understand my need to connect with all of my stitchy friends on a daily basis?

Silly machines.

So no stitchy news or pics for you today, my pwitties. I vow to return on Monday morning armed with a new attitude and a copy of "Vista for Dummies" if it's the last thing I do.

If you don't hear from me, please call Mr. H and Mr. P and tell them that they can retrieve their crap off of my front lawn and that I will expect a full apology from the damn Geek Squad member that sold me this paperweight. In writing, please. And don't forget the chocolate bon bons and flowers.

(Now THERE'S an idea! Why not send your customers bon bons whenever you invent something that makes their lives MISERABLE and NOT WORTH GETTING OUT OF THE SLEIGH BED FOR! Wouldn't bon bons make it all better? Wouldn't they?)