LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT: 110.8kg
THIS WEEK'S WEIGHT: 110.1kg
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: .7kg
FIRST GOAL: 110kg
Jan 31, 2020
Jan 29, 2020
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 27, 2020
Jan 26, 2020
SUNDAY...
Good morning, Dearies!
Another day has dawned here in Hoosierville, and I am sitting with my damn good and my thoughts. It was a 2am-er again last night, which means I did not get up in time for the 10:00 Mass. Fortunately there is a 5:00 service at the church just down the block from me, so I can do my thing then.
Yesterday was wonderfully quiet and swell. I stitched and colored and watched movies and then the sports with JB. I didn't really have an agenda for the day, so I suppose I did a good job of doing nothing. We had BLT's for dinner and not much else, but JB was very happy with that and didn't complain one little bit.
You have to love that about him.
In the last week I've been the awed recipient of battery-operated candles and some fantastic advice about using the stockpile of Yankee candles (melt them on the stovetop to get the scent but not the soot!), so I have started to come off the ceiling over my mess. I want to thank you all for your input on the subject....it saved me!
I'll leave you with some progress pics of Plum Pudding and a couple more pages from my Angie Grace coloring book:
Another day has dawned here in Hoosierville, and I am sitting with my damn good and my thoughts. It was a 2am-er again last night, which means I did not get up in time for the 10:00 Mass. Fortunately there is a 5:00 service at the church just down the block from me, so I can do my thing then.
Yesterday was wonderfully quiet and swell. I stitched and colored and watched movies and then the sports with JB. I didn't really have an agenda for the day, so I suppose I did a good job of doing nothing. We had BLT's for dinner and not much else, but JB was very happy with that and didn't complain one little bit.
You have to love that about him.
In the last week I've been the awed recipient of battery-operated candles and some fantastic advice about using the stockpile of Yankee candles (melt them on the stovetop to get the scent but not the soot!), so I have started to come off the ceiling over my mess. I want to thank you all for your input on the subject....it saved me!
I'll leave you with some progress pics of Plum Pudding and a couple more pages from my Angie Grace coloring book:
Jan 25, 2020
IN WHICH WE ACHIEVE BED COFFEE NIRVANA THANKS TO THE TARGET CLEARANCE AISLE ON THE INTERWEBS
If I could, I would buy all of you a Bed Coffee setup so that you could have your very own Saturday abed with damn good and the paper. This silly little ritual has single-handedly changed my life, Dearies!
It's cold, gloomy, and a bit rainy/snowy here in Hoosierville today, so I will he in the Happy Chair with stitching and coloring books and a magic blanket or two. My hangover is almost gone and that means I can look forward to the next little bit of feeling like a real human for a minute before donning shoes and socks and heading to Mass in the morning.
Happy Saturday! Do something nice for yourself today. I know I tend to overdo it in this department, but I have to confess...it feels wonderful!
Jan 24, 2020
OPERATION KEEP GOING
LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT: 112.6kg
THIS WEEK'S WEIGHT: 110.8kg
WEIGHT LOST THIS WEEK: 1.8kg
FIRST GOAL: 110kg
IN WHICH WE FEEL ALL OF THE FEELS
Holey Schmoley, I am exhausted today, Dearies.
It all started with a text from a friend asking me to dinner, and it ended with my arrival home after a long happy visit to gifts from even more friends.
I promise you, I will never understand how I got to be so completely blessed in this department. If there was such a thing as The Worst Possible Person In The World To Be Friends With award I would win it every year. I suck at it. Always have, and probably always will. But, in an demonstration of Supreme Irony, somebody keeps putting the most amazing friends in my path. Ever.
Maybe Somebody is trying to teach me that no matter how unlovable, there are always going to be people to ignore the worst parts of you and who will put up with your foolishness and who will love you no matter what.
I. Am. Humbled.
The Cottage Care is spiffing and scrubbing as I sit here with Buzzy doing my thing. You'll be happy to know that I resisted the urge to run the vacuum this morning and dust the mini blinds before their arrival. (I know...calm down, Nutball.)
The weekend is upon us and I am going to stitch my eyeballs out or there will be a massive giving-away come Monday. I think it has been weeks since I've had any substantial time with needle and thread in hand, and that's just way too dangerous for me.
I hope that you put your lovely heads on your pillows each night knowing how much you are appreciated and loved. On the darkest days, please remember that somewhere in the world there is a portly spinster thanking God that you're you.
Do something fun and come tell me all about it!
It all started with a text from a friend asking me to dinner, and it ended with my arrival home after a long happy visit to gifts from even more friends.
I promise you, I will never understand how I got to be so completely blessed in this department. If there was such a thing as The Worst Possible Person In The World To Be Friends With award I would win it every year. I suck at it. Always have, and probably always will. But, in an demonstration of Supreme Irony, somebody keeps putting the most amazing friends in my path. Ever.
Maybe Somebody is trying to teach me that no matter how unlovable, there are always going to be people to ignore the worst parts of you and who will put up with your foolishness and who will love you no matter what.
I. Am. Humbled.
The Cottage Care is spiffing and scrubbing as I sit here with Buzzy doing my thing. You'll be happy to know that I resisted the urge to run the vacuum this morning and dust the mini blinds before their arrival. (I know...calm down, Nutball.)
The weekend is upon us and I am going to stitch my eyeballs out or there will be a massive giving-away come Monday. I think it has been weeks since I've had any substantial time with needle and thread in hand, and that's just way too dangerous for me.
I hope that you put your lovely heads on your pillows each night knowing how much you are appreciated and loved. On the darkest days, please remember that somewhere in the world there is a portly spinster thanking God that you're you.
Do something fun and come tell me all about it!
Jan 23, 2020
WELL...THIS IS NEW
So here I sit on a Spinster Thursday with not one single solitary thing on a to-do list.
(Pause for reaction.)
I'm not kidding, Dearies. I don't have one single thing to do today. The laundry is done, folded, and put away (thankyouverymuch), the Cottage Care will be here tomorrow to spiff and scrub, the appointment book is stickered and written in, the dishes are home in the cabinets after sploshing, my nails have fresh coats of paint, and all of the bills and paperwork have been tended to.
Holy.
Schmoley.
I have decided to actually enjoy today and suck in the peace and quiet like a fat kid with a milkshake rather than ruin it all by fretting over the fact that I'm not fretting.
This sounds like a perfect day for a hot bath, some fresh sweats, and a marathon stitchy session in the Happy Chair!
Who's with me?
(Pause for reaction.)
I'm not kidding, Dearies. I don't have one single thing to do today. The laundry is done, folded, and put away (thankyouverymuch), the Cottage Care will be here tomorrow to spiff and scrub, the appointment book is stickered and written in, the dishes are home in the cabinets after sploshing, my nails have fresh coats of paint, and all of the bills and paperwork have been tended to.
Holy.
Schmoley.
I have decided to actually enjoy today and suck in the peace and quiet like a fat kid with a milkshake rather than ruin it all by fretting over the fact that I'm not fretting.
This sounds like a perfect day for a hot bath, some fresh sweats, and a marathon stitchy session in the Happy Chair!
Who's with me?
Jan 22, 2020
WEDNESDAY
Hoity Toity is my companion today, but I don't know if we'll get to visit or not because of some temperamental needles and Buzzy being a little pill. He's so bruised and angry that sometimes I just need to sit quietly and let him rest.
Thanks again for putting up with my foolishness. I know I'm a total nutball, but I'm well-meaning and apparently in need of a hobby besides anxiously obsessing over every damn thing. I'll get there. With pharmaceuticals, prayer, and Dr. Melfi. I'll get there.
I'm off to the You Tubes to see what everybody is up to. I hope your Wednesday is wonderfully swell and that you'll come tell me all about it!
Jan 21, 2020
THEY REALLY SHOULD MAKE PILLS FOR THIS...EPISODE SEVENTY-FOUR
I promise you, Dearies, that if I live to be a thousand years old, I will never figure myself out.
As you might know from reading this here blog, I have a propensity to swing between comatose and weeping, to manic and running around with my hair on fire. The is just NO IN BETWEEN with me. Never was, never shall be.
I also have the propensity to OBSESS over stuff to the point of distraction. Again, no sense of dipping my toe or taking baby steps on anything I'm worried about or need to do. It's ALL IN, Baby!
This morning started with me in the Happy Chair wringing my hands over the state of CS2, my hair situation (both thinning and facial), soot damage, a clogged drain, an out of date planner, Mount Laundry, and various and other sundry things. I wrang and wrang and wrang my hands until they were raw, but despite this, not one magic elf showed up to fix my life for me.
Damn magic elves.
So I did what an self-loathing/respecting spinster would do. I got paper and pencil and started listing all of the crap buzzing around in my tiny little brain that has been threatening to make me forget both my middle name and Social Security number.
(I operate on the Kelly Bundy method -- for every new thing that enters my brian, at least one old thing has to come out because there's just not a lot of room in there.)
The apartment situation is basically this: I would like it to be as clean and sterile as an operating room in here, but I just don't have the physical wherewithal to do this anymore. The days of being able to scrub a house from top to bottom like an Amish woman are just over for me. Period. I have tried and tried and tried to pretend like it isn't so, but the fact of the matter is that I am just not physically well enough (at this moment) to he able to clean my own house anymore.
Why this completely mortifies me is beyond comprehension, since I have, on more than one occasion, begged friends and family to hire help, since I knew they were struggling. I have absolutely zero judgement of anybody who employs a cleaning lady, but I somehow missed the part of the equation in which it's OK for ME to do so,
My first concern was the expense. I am on a ridiculously tight budget and am trying my very very best to use my resources as well as I can. I gave up the salon and other fun things in an effort to be more careful, but I think I have finally come to the conclusion that shifting some dollars to a cleaning company is not a luxury at this point...it is a necessity.
So I waived the white flag of surrender and the Cottage Care crew will be here on Friday.
This, of course, meant that I had to do something about that drain, so I high tailed it into the bathroom and fixed it. Just sat myself down on the side of the tub and got my Dollar Store gizmo out and unclogged that drain like I knew what I was doing,
Done.
Then, because I was there, I grabbed the Mr Clean and the sponges and spray bubbles and brushes and whatnot and I cleaned that damn bathroom to within an inch of its life in some kind of trance that was mixed with fury and shame that it had been allowed to get that far onto my last nerve.
From there, I sorted and started laundry and then I planted myself at the dining room table with my planner and I went to town, I glued and stickered and wrote and decorated and pasted until it was finally in order and all of my appointments and to-dos and lists and other little Post-Its were in their right place.
You would think that this would have been enough to get me calmed down, but before I knew what was really happening, the Christmas decorations were down and put away....with the exception of the three little lit trees that are going to stay right where they are with their little happy lights twinkling at me in the evenings.
Next Tuesday I'm going to get my damn hair cut and my damn face waxed and I'm going to do my level best to keep up with it because I know that if I do so it will make me feel better about myself.
The hardest part of all of this has been the conversation in my head about indulgence, being spoiled, guilt, slacking, being frivolous, etc. But I have to confess that there is a small part of me that says "Hang on just a minute. You have some majorly big stuff going on right now that you need to focus on. Going to and getting through dialysis and taking care of yourself physically should be your only priority right now. And if doing that means you need to off-load every other thing flitting about your brain, then you need to do so. You're not being lazy or selfish or stupid...you're being healthy and smart. And, when you get a new kidney and you are physically able to do so, you can go right back to being a maniac and stress over the smallest and dumbest of things. Right now...you do not have the luxury of doing that. Enough."
Isn't it a shame that the advice I would give my best friend never seems like advice I could give myself? Like I'm not worthy of the same acceptance and encouragement I would extend to a stranger? Hmmmmm. More things to ponder with Dr, Melfi.
So.
I am now sitting in the Happy Chair feeling organized and in control and peaceful. The big hard things that were bothering me are now tamed. The soot damage will be remedied with the cleaning service and eventually by an upholstery cleaning company, and I will save up for some battery operated candles that I can enjoy them without worry. The hair situation will be fixed with Misses Brandi and Jenn and their expert skills, and I will make an effort to apply a little lipstick every now and then to remind myself that I am, in fact, a woman.
JB is ready for a bite to eat, so I suppose I should close for now. Thank you for indulging my insanity, Dearies. Please be gentle with yourself...I know I'm going to try.
As you might know from reading this here blog, I have a propensity to swing between comatose and weeping, to manic and running around with my hair on fire. The is just NO IN BETWEEN with me. Never was, never shall be.
I also have the propensity to OBSESS over stuff to the point of distraction. Again, no sense of dipping my toe or taking baby steps on anything I'm worried about or need to do. It's ALL IN, Baby!
This morning started with me in the Happy Chair wringing my hands over the state of CS2, my hair situation (both thinning and facial), soot damage, a clogged drain, an out of date planner, Mount Laundry, and various and other sundry things. I wrang and wrang and wrang my hands until they were raw, but despite this, not one magic elf showed up to fix my life for me.
Damn magic elves.
So I did what an self-loathing/respecting spinster would do. I got paper and pencil and started listing all of the crap buzzing around in my tiny little brain that has been threatening to make me forget both my middle name and Social Security number.
(I operate on the Kelly Bundy method -- for every new thing that enters my brian, at least one old thing has to come out because there's just not a lot of room in there.)
The apartment situation is basically this: I would like it to be as clean and sterile as an operating room in here, but I just don't have the physical wherewithal to do this anymore. The days of being able to scrub a house from top to bottom like an Amish woman are just over for me. Period. I have tried and tried and tried to pretend like it isn't so, but the fact of the matter is that I am just not physically well enough (at this moment) to he able to clean my own house anymore.
Why this completely mortifies me is beyond comprehension, since I have, on more than one occasion, begged friends and family to hire help, since I knew they were struggling. I have absolutely zero judgement of anybody who employs a cleaning lady, but I somehow missed the part of the equation in which it's OK for ME to do so,
My first concern was the expense. I am on a ridiculously tight budget and am trying my very very best to use my resources as well as I can. I gave up the salon and other fun things in an effort to be more careful, but I think I have finally come to the conclusion that shifting some dollars to a cleaning company is not a luxury at this point...it is a necessity.
So I waived the white flag of surrender and the Cottage Care crew will be here on Friday.
This, of course, meant that I had to do something about that drain, so I high tailed it into the bathroom and fixed it. Just sat myself down on the side of the tub and got my Dollar Store gizmo out and unclogged that drain like I knew what I was doing,
Done.
Then, because I was there, I grabbed the Mr Clean and the sponges and spray bubbles and brushes and whatnot and I cleaned that damn bathroom to within an inch of its life in some kind of trance that was mixed with fury and shame that it had been allowed to get that far onto my last nerve.
From there, I sorted and started laundry and then I planted myself at the dining room table with my planner and I went to town, I glued and stickered and wrote and decorated and pasted until it was finally in order and all of my appointments and to-dos and lists and other little Post-Its were in their right place.
You would think that this would have been enough to get me calmed down, but before I knew what was really happening, the Christmas decorations were down and put away....with the exception of the three little lit trees that are going to stay right where they are with their little happy lights twinkling at me in the evenings.
Next Tuesday I'm going to get my damn hair cut and my damn face waxed and I'm going to do my level best to keep up with it because I know that if I do so it will make me feel better about myself.
The hardest part of all of this has been the conversation in my head about indulgence, being spoiled, guilt, slacking, being frivolous, etc. But I have to confess that there is a small part of me that says "Hang on just a minute. You have some majorly big stuff going on right now that you need to focus on. Going to and getting through dialysis and taking care of yourself physically should be your only priority right now. And if doing that means you need to off-load every other thing flitting about your brain, then you need to do so. You're not being lazy or selfish or stupid...you're being healthy and smart. And, when you get a new kidney and you are physically able to do so, you can go right back to being a maniac and stress over the smallest and dumbest of things. Right now...you do not have the luxury of doing that. Enough."
Isn't it a shame that the advice I would give my best friend never seems like advice I could give myself? Like I'm not worthy of the same acceptance and encouragement I would extend to a stranger? Hmmmmm. More things to ponder with Dr, Melfi.
So.
I am now sitting in the Happy Chair feeling organized and in control and peaceful. The big hard things that were bothering me are now tamed. The soot damage will be remedied with the cleaning service and eventually by an upholstery cleaning company, and I will save up for some battery operated candles that I can enjoy them without worry. The hair situation will be fixed with Misses Brandi and Jenn and their expert skills, and I will make an effort to apply a little lipstick every now and then to remind myself that I am, in fact, a woman.
JB is ready for a bite to eat, so I suppose I should close for now. Thank you for indulging my insanity, Dearies. Please be gentle with yourself...I know I'm going to try.
Jan 20, 2020
OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH DEAR....THE RETURN OF THE FRETTING SPINSTER
I want my mom.
After a simply wonderful weekend, the day has started with me oversleeping, bawling over soot damage, and almost driving into a pond.
(Oh, and the tub drain is clogged again because my hair is falling out by the handfuls).
(I could also tell you that after five months of not having her, my ladytime decided to make an appearance, but that would just be way too much TMI for a Monday. )
The soot damage is bad, Dearies. Bad enough that when JB and I pulled the couch out to find his phone, I discovered that the fabric is blackened quite badly. This discovery got me looking around more, and it hit me that all of my unprotected stitching is probably ruined also. The thought of how I'm going to clean all of it up overwhelms me completely.
That was the first ugly cry bawling session in the shower.
(With the damn clogged drain).
Then, in a completely unexpected surprise, I slid off the road on my way here this morning and bumped a guard rail in front of a pond. I was already going very slow because the roads are dicey out there, and I didn't hit the thing very hard, but I was shaken to my core. (We had an awful tragedy here about a mile away in which a car went into a pond and three children were killed and the mom is critical, so that was all I could think about.)
A lovely man in a truck stopped to help me and was kind enough not to slap me across the face as I blubbered and bawled (because I think he knew what I was thinking), but he skeedaddled out of there when I started blubbering about Stewey.
(His vet building is at that intersection and I think I said something about my baby dying over there and I could have died over here.)
Geeze Louise....what a morning.
I am safe and sound, Dearies, but still a weepy mess. Fortunately, my podmates and techs are used to me being dramatic, so they have all provided the necessary cooing and patting to get me off the ceiling.
(Crap.)
(Ceiling.
(Soot damage on the ceiling.)
Enough.
I need to get my headphones on and zone out with some Flosstube for a bit. I might also watch coloring or planning videos...those are swell too!
I hope your week is off to a better start than mine. We'll turn this little goat rodeo around...I promise! If I do, I'll come tell you all about it!
Jan 18, 2020
AND THEN IT GOT JUST STUPID HAPPY...WITH ADDED EXPLANATIONS AND ANOTHER PICTURE
This is a broccoli-cheddar mini quiche and fruit salad. It was my brunch and very very tasty!
And these beauties, my very dear Miss Susan, are my meatballs that turned out better than any I have ever made in my whole entire life. We ate them with homemade marinara and rigatoni:
So that's it for me, Dearies! A stupidly perfect Saturday in every way! I am off to bed now with a smile on my face, meatballs in my tummy, and peace in my heart!
Night night!
SATURDAY...BEYOND BLISS
I skipped my Downton Spinster Saturday abed the last week or so, but was simply determined to celebrate it today. Thanks to a lovely gift from a friend, I now have a little setup that allows for the pour of my second cup without having to haul out of the big girl sleigh bed. (Once I find a bigger tray I will be able to manage this a little better, but for now I am simply...delighted.)
(The gift was the little coffee carafe and a sugar/creamer set that I had on my amazon wishlist. It was completely unexpected, but exactly perfectly perfect in every way! Thank you again, dear friend!)
And so I am here, enjoying this ritual, some peace and quiet, and the opportunity to spend time with you and to answer emails. I want to thank all of you who shared your stitchy journal ideas and setups with me. I am simply gobsmacked by how detailed and lovely they are, but ready to get my own act together! Thank you for getting me motivated!
No stitching to report, unfortunately. I have been like a little kid the last few days, playing with a new toy. Coloring has occupied most of my Happy Chair time, but I have promised myself to limit it this weekend and pick up needle and thread first for at least 30 minutes before breaking out the markers.
My day was supposed to be filled with cleaning, cooking, un-decorating, etc (as usual), but here I sit at almost 1:00 in the afternoon looking at the Instagram, flipping through magazines, and enjoying a good old fashioned winter storm outside the window. Do you suppose that I do this to myself on purpose? Constantly set up a day of productivity so that I can just say "Nope....chuck it" and rebel by being a lump?
Something to ponder with Dr. Melfi when I see her next.
(The truth of the matter is that I am trying to be better about giving myself a break. My weeks are taking everything out of me physically, mentally, and emotionally. By the time Saturday gets here I am in need of a minute to feel like a human again and get my wits about me, so having an hour or two in bed with some damn good is exactly what I should be doing. With impunity.)
Weather is playing a factor with us here in Hoosierville, as I think it is all over the place. We got a decent snow last night and are expected to get ice later this evening, so I am praying that all will be well. If you have to be out and about in anything unpleasant today...take care, please.
Happy Saturday, Dearies! I hope that today finds you as happy and content as I am. Enjoy all the things and come tell me all about it!
Jan 17, 2020
COLOR ME CRAZY!
Guess who couldn't sleep and stayed up until 3am with her Angie Grace coloring books?
Oh my goodness...I am just loving every moment with markers in hand, Dearies! I have decided that I am definitely an alcohol marker kind of girl....specifically Ohuhu or Milos. The cheapies that I got at the Hobby Lobby turned out to be not quite great. The brush nibs became very frayed and the pens seemed to dry out very quickly.
Lesson learned, I guess.
I did complete a very small section of Plum Pudding, but she is tucked away at the moment feeling a little camera shy, so we'll let her rest a bit. Hopefully, I will get some good stitchy time with her over the weekend, since they are predicting some bad weather to come our way and ground us all from gallivanting about the countryside.
Nothing else to report. Life is quiet, peaceful, and quite swell around these here parts, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about (even if I wanted to). What ever happened to the spinster that used to rant at the silliest thing?
Sometimes I miss her moxy and wit.
(But mostly I just miss her ability to bullhead her way through anything with grit and determination.)
Happy Friday to one and all! Come tell me what's on your agenda for the day!
Oh my goodness...I am just loving every moment with markers in hand, Dearies! I have decided that I am definitely an alcohol marker kind of girl....specifically Ohuhu or Milos. The cheapies that I got at the Hobby Lobby turned out to be not quite great. The brush nibs became very frayed and the pens seemed to dry out very quickly.
Lesson learned, I guess.
I did complete a very small section of Plum Pudding, but she is tucked away at the moment feeling a little camera shy, so we'll let her rest a bit. Hopefully, I will get some good stitchy time with her over the weekend, since they are predicting some bad weather to come our way and ground us all from gallivanting about the countryside.
Nothing else to report. Life is quiet, peaceful, and quite swell around these here parts, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about (even if I wanted to). What ever happened to the spinster that used to rant at the silliest thing?
Sometimes I miss her moxy and wit.
(But mostly I just miss her ability to bullhead her way through anything with grit and determination.)
Happy Friday to one and all! Come tell me what's on your agenda for the day!
Jan 16, 2020
TURNING A LITTLE CORNER...
I promise you that Plum Pudding is actually plum, and not the washed-out muddled blah in this craptastic photo, Dearies. Hoosierville is having a case of the Drearies lately, so getting anything in true color is a bit of a no-go.
Today promises to be quiet but hopefully productive. I have an appointment at 1:00 and then an errand or two to run, and finally, I am hoping to spend some time at the kitchen table with my planner.
On that subject...I am obsessing over stitchy journals and all things paper related. I would love to know (if you are so kindly inclined) how you keep track of your very own stitchy stuff? Do you record things in a notebook? Do you list and plan and write and organize in some kind of journal or book? If you do, will you share your routine with me? I know that this here blog has served as my stitchy journal, but I am really hankering to get back to keeping a book also.
That's it for today. I hope you get to spend some time with needle and thread (or whatever blows your skirt up) today! Come tell me all about it!
Jan 15, 2020
THAT'S BETTER!
Needle and thread are back in hand, Dearies! After what feels like forever I decided to stop with my foolishness and get back into routine.
I am, however, still going to enjoy coloring:
Nothing else to report. It's a bit gloomy here at the moment, but we are promised the s-word by week's end so I am planning cozy menus and writing shopping lists like a crazy person.
Thank you for all of your excellent advice and information about the candles. I haven't decided what to do yet...whether to chuck them or continue burning and be extra careful. But you have really helped me be better informed!
Happy Wednesday Futzingday to one and all! Come tell me all about your corner of the world!
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