IN WHICH I DECIDE TO BE THE BOSS OF EVERYBODY

OK, first things first.

A very large and hearty THANK YOU to you all for my birthday wishes, happy thoughts, and greetings. I am so tickled by the number of you that wrote or called or sent your good vibes my way.  I had a positively wonderful, happy, happy birthday.

Now on to our order of business for the day.  Please bear with me while I climb atop my soapbox for a moment.  (Gentlemen in the front row there, would you be so kind as to lend me a hand?)

Thank you.

Now...if you will all repeat after me:

"I (insert your name, Instagram handle, Flosstube channel name, or however you choose to call yourself) do solemly swear that on this day, the 15th day of April, in the year 2017, that I will take and accept the OATH OF SASSY NESS.  This oath, which I undertake freely and with sound (ish) mind and whole heart means that heretofore I will STOP ALL STITCHY SHAMING if I have been engaged in such, and, more importantly, I will heretofore henceforce and forthwith STOP ALL SELF SHOULDING.  Forever and ever.  Upon my sacred vow.  By the powers vested in me.  Amen."

Enough is enough, kids.  I have been watching Flosstube videos, attending Guild meetings, and reading stitchy blogs like a crazy person, and last night the same thing kept hitting me right between the eyeballs:

"Forgive my lighting...my nose itching...the paper crinkles...my camera focus...my dog/cat/baby wanting attention...sorry for being away...the angle...I really shouldn't have bought all this haul...I really should finish a WIP...sorry, sorry, apology, apology, apology, should, should, should..."

Can I just say this once and for all?  This thing of ours and this community of like-minded souls is comprised of a lovely, gentle, wholesome, creative pastime loved by the kindest, most talented, bravest, smartest, and genuinely most wonderful people on the planet.  What in the name of all that is holy do we have to feel bad about?!  

Too much stash?  Sorry, but there's no such thing.  No, I agree with you that it's not a contest, but when it comes to spending money on something, I can certainly think of about eighteen things at least that are worse than beautiful linens and threads and needlepoint canvases. So you spent the rent money on cross stitch charts this month.  Instead of beating yourself up about it, why not think of the shop owner or designer who made a llittle something from your purchase, or the fact that you might have contributed nicely to a grandchild's college fund?

I get it.  I really do.  I have spent 51 years on this planet mired in guilt, shame, and humiliation for this, that, and the other.  If I could, I'm sure I would find a way to take the blame for global warming, the fall of Enron, and whatever mess is breaking out in another corner of the world that I have never been to, let alone find on a map.  I take crappy photographs, do stuff ass backwards, have more quirks and bad habits than I can list in a book, and I will probably never win the Nobel or Miss Anything.  Ever.

But why should all of that follow me into my stitchy world?  Why can't we all just grab our oversized bags full of our stitchy stuff, hold hands, sing Kum Ba Ya, and get on with it?  We're not running a crack den or selling puppies into slavery...we're stitchers for pity sakes!  And our stitching brings us joy and happiness and comfort and stimulation and peace in a world that could use a whole lot more of all of those things.

So you just get on with your stitchy self.  Don't you worry one little bit about any more silliness when you're making a video or posting a picture or writing a comment or stitching your stitching.  I, for one, love every single bit of it and every single part of you, and am just feeling incredibly lucky to have found a place here.

Enough.

No more shaming.

No more shoulding.

Thank you for your time.  We'll get back to our regularly scheduled programing as soon as we finish flitting about this rainbow on the back of our purple glitter unicorn.