Nov 2, 2017

IN WHICH I FINALLY FIND THE SOAPBOX...

The last four days here at CS2 have been...interesting.

Rich was away, and I thought I would tackle a to do list of about a hundred and a half things, but all I managed to do was sit in the Happy Chair missing him or sleeping in the big girl sleigh bed clutching Stewey's little blanket and missing HIM too.  (Can you believe it's almost been a year since he died?)

Physically, I seem to have hit a big fat brick wall hard and head first.  I really do think that it's the kidneys, but I've been saying that for (what feels like) years now.  I will see the nephrologist a week from Friday for a check-in and promise that if she tells me it's time to start dialysis, I won't fight it. 

Mentally, I think I am frustrated to not be as "with it" as I would like, and I am not doing things like reading or puzzles that normally keep my tiny little hampster wheel turning...and as for stitching?  The sound of crickets chirping when I fumble with any progress to show speaks for itself...must remedy that.

But emotionally...

Emotionally, I am...

Well, I don't know exactly what I am.  Overwhelmed?  Sad?  Scared?  Content?  Happy?  Grieving?  All of the above?

Don't know for sure.  But what I do know is that when I get like this, my instinct is to pull my shell a little  tighter about me and to turn off the lights, crawl under the covers, and wait for it to pass.

But this time, something triggered me to say "NOPE!" and to thrust my fist out of the blanket and to grab the mic for a hot second to say the following:

It took me a minute because I'm slower than most, but tonight it finally hit me that everytime I receive a nasty email from "Betty" or I see a negative comment on a fellow stitcher's blog or Flosstube channel, or I see that somebody got a thumbs down or a rotten thing said to them or about them that there is no way in Holy H-E-double hockey sticks that it came from inside the family.

I get my fair share of poop flung my way in the form of super mean email notes that tell me how much I'm hated, how my life is of no value or no interest, and how every bad thing that ever happened to me was karmic retribution.

OK.  If that's really how you feel, please go right ahead and rant yourself right into a stroke about it.  Remain anonymous and come at me during those moments when you know that my big fat white soft underbelly is the most vulnerable.  If it makes you feel better about your world, or fixes something in you that is broken...you just go with your bad self.

But when you go after my family...my stitchy family...that I have come to know, cherish, and love these last several years?

That...I'm just not OK with.

This thing of ours is beautiful.  I know first hand of the gererosity, compassion, kindness, and unadulterated love that flows freely among and between people of every socio-economic, racial, cultural, intellectual, gender, sexual orientation, age, nation of origin, or political affiliation imaginable.  What binds us is our love for all thing needle and thread, and the joy and peace that it gives us is just plain...precious.

So why in the world would anybody feel compelled to smudge the hell out of it with nastiness?  Why do so many of us feel the need to apologize for our unbridled enthusiasm or our need to share ourselves with our people by showing our accomplishments...or our stitchy spots...or the latest big bag of haul from a road trip to an LNS...or gifts that we were showered with?

Why would anybody think it OK to reprimand or criticize or belittle somebody who puts themselves out there in an honest attempt to just matter in this world?

Like I said...it took me a little longer than most, but I finally realized that the "haters" have no place here and are most definitely not part of this thing.  The haters want to tear down out of some perverse need to bully and detroy happiness and spread bad juju.

So, dear friends.  Dear fellow bloggers, Flosstubers, Facebookers, Instagramers....any member of this family who just wants to pull their little chair up to the table for a bit...I say BRAVO and BRAVA to you from the bottom of my heart.  I don't care if you're stitching plastic canvas coasters of unicorns with sock yarn or are hardangering a small village with spun silk or are attaching beads and sequins to a piece of needlepoint canvas with a hot glue gun or the hair of a Mongolian yak.

I'm in.

I want to know the story of your life.  I want to hear and see your kids hollering their little heads off, you slurping your coffee out of mug the size of your head, every single WIP, kit, gift, and rotation plan you've ever thought of, and I want to oohh and aahh over your chair, light, needle minder collection, and organizational plan.  I don't care if you use Ziplock bags or Hermes scarves or whether you stitch in hand or have a gizmo bigger than a Range Rover that helps you stitch...I will love it all and I won't be afraid to tell you that.  If you stitch five minutes a week or nineteen hours a day, you're a stitcher in my book, and that fact means that you are my family and I love you.

Let's let the good drown the bad.  Let's lift up everything that makes this thing of ours so wonderful and not tolerate anybody or anything that gets in the way of it.  Let's just...be...for a bit, and have sone fun and let the big hard things in the big hard world stay out there for just a minute longer.

OK?


That's it for me tonight, Dearies.  Tomorrow will be a full day of all the things I was supposed to have done for the last three...and then my guy will be home again.  I hope that your very own week has been swell and that your Thursday is wonderful.  Do something...you know.

62 comments:

  1. Coni, I enjoy your blog so much. I don't comment often, but I read regularly! I'm sorry there are folks around that would be so unkind and so dumb. The world just doesn't need them! I have grieved along with you when you lost your precious pup--I lost my dear husband to cancer last summer...it's been such a hard year! However, it's getting better and that's about all I can hope for! Times do improve, but they're never the same. I love your stitching, decorating, and adventures! I hope that your health will be taken care of and start to improve! Keep smiling and know that there are many around that are interested in you and care about you!

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  3. Negativity is emotionally and physically draining, to the author and those they write to. I try to ignore it, but pray for their troubled souls as well.

    We all deal with something at different points in our lives. I've had some tough emotional issues recently and love that my stitchy sisters are my rocks and my support.

    I know the majority of us are with you 1000%, Coni as you are for us. Keep that positive attitude and my prayers continue that you'll get that kidney as soon as possible and be back to your normal self soon.

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  4. Ohhh plastic coasters with unicorns....on my christmas list xxx

    I just stuck up a new little saying in my work cubicle "Sometimes I wish I was a unicorn. So I could stab idiots with my horn" LOL

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  5. Coin, such a terrific, positive rant. Really, I think it is the anonymity of the internet that allows people to be so unkind. People say things online that they would NEVER EVER be so unkind as to say to ones face. The wonderful communication and access the Internet provides also allows this ugly underside to display and it is sad indeed. And this is just needlework!! How about politics? Omg, it is just awful. Not to mention the just plain crazy people (the Betty's)?who have always been out there but now have easy access to us via the internet. Thank you for speaking up and being so positive while doing so. You are always so kind. Take care of yourself!

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  6. Damn autocorrect! It's Coni, not Coin!

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  7. Well said, Coni.
    I think those people that are so mean and ignorant just haven't had any tragedy in their life.
    But when they do, it will hit them like a brick wall.
    I work with people like that, and have found out that silence is golden when it comes to them, so, I just try and go about my business. They just poke for an argument or fight, and I won't stoop to their level, that bugs the **ll out of them! LOL
    Those people just are not happy people and need something in their lives.
    As for Betty, why does she keep trying?
    Her head must be thicker than a brick!!
    A lot of people don't understand the stitching world, but we do.
    It's like any other hobby, you do what you like, we all don't like the same thing, but we aren't mean about it.
    So Coni, you just keep on being you, and those of us that love you and your stitching will just keep loving you and your stitching.
    Personally, I get a chuckle out of your blog, I read it everyday.
    And I'm soooo happy that Jersey Boy is in your life, he makes you happy.
    Take care, my friend.
    Marilyn

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  8. O.M.G. It's not as if anyone is forced to read your blog. I can't believe someone would be that hateful. I suppose we should pity them because they must have miserable lives.

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  9. P.S. I think you should publish their nasty emails here so we can tear into them!!!

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    1. Indeed; give them a taste of their own medicine!

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  10. Coni I Love your Blog and I really enjoy reading everything you share with us. Every time I see little Stewey's face it tugs at my heart..It's sad that some people are so unhappy inside that they feel compelled to try and bring other people into their misery..I thank the Good Lord that I am not like them..Try and not read any negative comments...

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  11. Coni,
    Please try not to read those nasty comments, just block them. They are not worth your time and energy! This world has more than enough negativity in it and you are a breath of fresh air. I know I look multiple times a day to see if you've posted. I love your blog. You always give me a chuckle, inspiration (both with your beautiful stitching and your ability to pull yourself together and go on). I wish you could see the doctor sooner. It truly does seem time for dialysis as I think you would feel a lot better. You've got this girl!
    Hugs,
    Rose

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  12. Coni, the people who have nothing in their lives to do except to be hateful and do their best to be hurtful are pathetic and not to be acknowledged except to pity them. What a sad life these people must live that they have nothing better to do than tear down others. You are a marvelous person and I love reading your blog! And the stitching will return --- just give yourself permission to rest and take it as it comes. We, all your faithful readers, will always be here for you!

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  13. Haters gonna hate ... thank you for speaking up for loving our stitchiness in all its forms. My "gizmo larger than a range rover" and I are heading off to a weekend retreat in the company of like-minded stitchers. It's going to be fabulous, and I'll be lucky to put in 36 stitches in the midst of oohing and aahing over everyone's projects and family photos. Thanks again, Coni, and xoxo from a faithful reader and infrequent poster.

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  14. I love reading your blog. I love that there are blogs and Flosstube where we can have the privilege of reading or seeing what others are working on. I don't always have the same interests but I love seeing the joy that others get from their craft. I have never been brave enough to start a blog but I do see it as brave to share your life, love, interests with others. And because of that bravery to share we need to be civil with each other which I think for the most part is not a problem. I, too, have been blessed by stitchers I have never met with their beautiful pieces from exchanges or even just as a "Thinking of You" gifts or kind words sent to cheer me up. I feel sorry for those who find fault with others over their blog or Flosstube and feel they NEED to post their bitterness (jealousy). I don't have any crafting friends here where I live so I treasure blogs and Flosstube. I have certained entries marked to turn to when I need a chuckle or giggle on days that I am feeling down. There may have been times that I was envious of their stash but as I got to know them better I was ashamed of my envy and found them to be so generous of spirit and so full of life that those are probably some of the most bookmarked places I have. Unfortunately, yours is not the only place where I have read that cruel /malicious behavior was sent to the owner. The internet is wonderful in that so much is available but it does also give the insecure and "chose to be unhappy/angry/mean/petty/jealous" ones a secretive way to post their unhappiness.

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  15. Coni, I read your blog every day and seldom comment. I guess I fall into the category of those who think there are so many comments, I will just nod and move on to the next blog on my list. I always enjoy your posts, your perseverance and your sense of humor. You are an encourager and I like that. Best wishes and prayers for a good report on Friday. I know you will make the right decision.

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  16. Please do not accept all that negative energy idiots are putting out. They are pointing their finger, not holding out their hand. Block them, don't read them and let them go their sad, lonesome way. You are loved. We need to look at what is right with the world and help it grow. You are a wonderful spot that encourages growth and love. You are held in prayers today and always. XOXOXOXOXOOOOXX

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  17. Amen Coni! Love your words...blessings for a good appointment Friday..

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  18. You go girl! I love it when you talk about everything! You are funny and smart and interesting. You are living your life as best you can, just like the rest of us! Some days, we excel, some days we fall flat on our face, but most days, we all just bumble through life trying to make the right choices and move forward. Always remember that you are loved and we are standing with you!

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  19. Coni,I just discovered your blog about a month or so ago. I love your humor and your sweet spirit! Just block those idiots who have nothing better to do than bully those of us who are happy stitching in our little corner of the world! The internet allows such fun stitching comraderie theough blogs and f
    Flosstube but unfortunately, it also allows vicious, anonymous bullying, too. Don't give those people any more of your precious time. I love reading your blog! Have a blessed day!

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  20. Coni, I agree with everything you said. And it made me a bit sad to think that people have nothing better to do with their time than run others down. But when I read about kids and coffee and mugs as big as your head, I laughed out loud! You have a gift and thanks for sharing it with us! They are haters because they can't be us! Forget-about-them! And you made my heart melt when you called that JB "my guy". The best joy in life is to be happy for someone else! Today I am joy full! Happy weekend!

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  21. This is simply outrageous to me that someone would willfully make nasty comments on a blog that they have no reason to be even reading because of their lack of interest in the subject. It makes no sense to me! I read your blog EVERYDAY and when you miss a day, I worry! Keep it up....we all LOVE you. And I'm a former jersey girl!! Xo

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  22. Coni, well said -- each and every word of it. There will always be someone out there who feels the need to bring someone down with their nastiness. We will rise above.

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  23. OK? OK!!!! You know you are loved. Just banish the negativity and ignore it. The world tries to bring us down... don't listen. Just listen to the positivity. That is where you will find love and peace and growth! God bless you Coni, for everything you are and the fact that you share it. Just absolutely love your blog and check it every day. Love, hugs & prayers, Cathryn ♥♥♥

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  24. Coni dear always remember you are LOVED with HIS all encompassing LOVE. HE holds you in the palm of his hand, he has the perfect plan for you to prosper not harm you.
    LOVE concurs all things.
    We, your sisters & brothers in stitches love you as well & cover you with our LOVE
    Blessings
    Baa

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  25. Anybody who would say such hurtful things about such lovely people as the stitchers who write blogs and share their beautiful pictures are either really crazy or really lonely. Maybe both. I think I would just say a prayer for them that God would change their heart and then just think of them no more. You are loved.

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  26. Please try to ignore the nasties Coni...it bugs them more to be ignored than to be engaged in a spite fest. I know, easier said than done some days. You are one of the kindest, sunniest people I know on the net, in spite of health problems that would, I think, do most of us in. I hope that if you start dialysis you will feel better, and that you can get your kidney and be back to normal soon...it is rotten to be ill all the time. I understand the 'curl up in bed' impulse...hopefully you will feel better soon. Thinking of you all the time and sending much much love...xxoo Mj

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  27. Amen, sister.

    Anger comes from hurt, fear and/or frustration. Scratch every bully and underneath you will find a coward.

    Nuff said.

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  28. Well said Coni!!! You know you have a huge family that is rooting for you and wishing you all the best as you deal with your health issues. We just want to see you be well again and living your life with your Jersey Boy!!! Keep your chin up and do whatever you need to do to keep going.

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  29. I second all of the above. With all the horrible things happening in the world, I can't imagine why anyone would choose to attack one of us, for doing what we do. I've never had to experience such meanness first hand. Stitching is what I do. It s my love, my joy, my hobby, my art, my work, and it does provide me some income. Not everyone I meet understands, but at the very least they are tolerant. Your blog is part of my morning routine and provides a bright spot!

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  30. When I see a nasty comment or a thumbs down, it used to make me wonder what is wrong with me. Nope, not anymore. If someone just does it to be mean and bully-ish (is that a word? I just created it if not.) to see what happens, I will just laugh. Good one, you! And keep on stitching and sharing the positive and the beautiful. Maybe it will rub off on them one day. Think happy thoughts and take the second star to the right and straight on 'til morning. :-)

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  31. I love reading your blog. I enjoy your sense of humor. It is so much easier to write something nasty to someone than it is to say it to their face. And what I don't understand is, if someone is so offended or doesn't approve, then just back out and don't read it. Keep blogging and sharing your life with us.

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  32. "He/she laughs at scars who never felt a wound..." Either these "downers" have never known true sorrow or have had
    an overdose of it in their lives. In any case, their response is to be pitied, then ignored. Put yourself in that white bubble of serenity and let no negativity enter.
    Get your adrenaline rush from happy things and not
    worked up about such cruel pettiness. I suspect if JB were
    there, you would have sighed and hit delete. Too many
    good things to experience. Love you, Coni.

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  33. I couldn't agree more! Thanks for putting it out there!

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  34. I work with a young man who could be my son. Most people think we could have nothing in common. However, we share the love of making things with our hands and this connects us on a level apart from age, gender or background. Kindness abounds in this community. I'm glad to be a part of it.

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  35. Coni, I'm so sorry you have to deal with negative attacks. However, I love your rant! I hope it is ok if I share it with local stitch sisters! We need a dose of your indomitable spirit!
    You go, Girlfriend! Keep being you and sharing it on your blog! We, your loyal fan base, will keep checking in daily for another episode and will keep sending you our love!

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  36. Kudos to you Coni ~ you are always our inspiration. Go with the good ! Happiness, Jo Ann

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  37. Beautifully and perfectly stated. Thanks for stating what is in the heart of most people who join stitchy groups or blog (or read blogs) - we are allowed our happy place! Thank you for the joy you bring to so many...hugs.

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  38. Well said stitchy sister. I knit not stitch but figure it's just another sort of stitching! And I really really love your blog and you! Xx

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  39. This here post--just another reason to love you and your blog! Scripture tells us to overcome evil with good, so well done! I must also add that I now want a coffee mug the size of my head.

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  40. Fortunately for me I tend to be outside the loop when horrid drama happens. But then, the words "horrid" and "drama" are a bit redundant don't ya think. Anyway....you just go on with your bad self because we love you. I enjoy the heck out of the few flosstube videos I actually get to watch. And I personally think you need to consign all emails from Betty to the spam folder so you never have to read them again. Hugs Coni. Stitch when you want. And in the meantime, just pour another cuppa.

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  41. I think Betty must be jealous and have nothing in her life to look forward to. I love your blog and I love you. Betty, just leave. You aren't invited any more.

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  42. That’s one of the best things I’ve ever heard. It’s so spot on! We ARE a community and we look out for our own. Thank you.

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  43. Betty is a B! If she thinks so little of us then why in the world does she even bother to read? I agree with the others, she is J.E.A.L.O.U.S! And Sad and Miserable. I don't do much stitching, or felting, or spinning because...well Life. But I love cyber stalking those who do so I can oohhh and ahhhh and get my fix in for all things fiber. I'm just glad most people ignore the hate and continue on with their sharing so that people like me can live vicariously through them! Stich on Connie! I also love that you give us a little peep into your life - you are so very upbeat and positive that it brightens my days and helps me look at the world in a half full way.

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  44. You are wonderful! I hope you don't mind that I shared this post on a couple of facebook groups. More people need to read your words. Thankfully I have only ever dealt with one Betty and she was blocked before she knew it. The world needs more nice people and less Bettys.

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  45. Hi; a fellow stitcher in Canada posted your blog and I had to read. Boy, I had a good laugh and some tears i my eyes. I love being part of my stitching group. They don't know what they give me every day. I didn't have internet for over a month and sure missed them. Now I'm back and I feel back at home. Whoever this "Betty" is, tell them to get stuck in the place where the sun don't shine. I am a single woman and have no close family in my life; my cross stitching and knitting are very valuable to me as they keep me centered, humbled when I make mistakes and then I post something and I get "likes or hearts or whatever". Just knowing I am part of a group that loves what I love as much as I love it.....worth more than anything I could buy. Thanks for posting and keep up those blogs! This one is a great one and a keeper for me! Dorothy, Canada

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  46. What a wonderful post. Well said! In a world with so much ugliness, nobody wants to see it seep into the stitchy community.

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  47. Beautiful post :). Don’t let anybody get you down and keep on doing you :). I don’t know you but I’m a stitcher as well so I’ll have to start following you :)

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  48. Dear Coni,
    I am another one of your admirers. I don't comment much to you,but I love reading what you write. When someone writes something negative why don't you just skip it and hit the "delete" button? I don't understand why people have to be so nasty to others. They must live a very sad life, I can't even imagine! Thank you for all you do in making us laugh and love you. You have more people for you than against you !!! :)

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  49. This made me cry! and I am at work! What beautiful words. I don't comment very much, but I love your blog and hence, I love you! You are very talented in stitching and writing and in being an awesome human!

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  50. I'm seconding your rant, Coni! So well stated!

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  51. Dear Coni, I started following your blog around the time you were moving to CS2. I have enjoyed each post and I look forward to seeing them pop up in my reader. I fully agree with you that stitchers are the kindest, caring people around. All anyone has to do is watch a few FlossTube videos or read a few blogs to see that. I truly do not understand negativity, maybe because I'm so positive myself. Enjoyed your soapbox and your blog.
    Hugs,
    Sharon

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