Aug 17, 2017

I'M NOT A GENIUS...I JUST PLAY ONE ON TEE VEE

The last few days of Spinster Aqua Therapy have been interrupted by a band (hoarde?) of unruly, obnoxious, UNSUPERVISED children.

Now before we go any further, I really need to point out the fact that although I do not have children,and I somewhat identify with the Baroness in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang who was terrified of them...I would do anything in my power to help a child or protect a child or love a child in need.

But these little bas$&:ds?  These children have run amok for the last three days...screeching, running, pushing, shoving, spitting, and vandalizing everything in sight.  They are the most terrible little beasts I've ever seen.  

And there's five of them.

The two oldest kids look to be about ten...the three little ones (WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM BY THE WAY) seem to be between three and four.

I left a nice message for the office manager...kind of a "Gee.  I know I'm new here, but it seems to me that it's dangerous for five little kids to be left alone at a swimming pool" but so far nothing has been done.  I guess they were kind of hoping that school starting would take care of the problem.

Not so much.

So today, as I was on my way home from my last appointment, I started fretting about my afternoon pool visit.  Maybe I'm crazy, but being there with these kids by myself has made me a nervous wreck, and despite the fact that the exercise I've been getting has literally changed my life...the aggravation of having to deal with getting spit on, jumped on, splashed, etc. was making me contemplate a nap instead.

But then a miracle happened.

I stopped at the Targets to pick up a prescription, and right there in front of me was the solution.

Sedatives.

Lots and lots of sedatives.

And a bottle of gummy candy that I could slip them into and feed to the little buggers...

OH COME ON, PEOPLE!  Do you honestly think I have the ability to be that devious or criminal or...smart?

No, what I bought instead was...

Books.

Lots and lots of books.

I bought a half cart full of children's books and brought them home and put them in my pool bag and then shoved myself into my old lady bathing suit and made the 104 steps to the pool.

Today there were seven UNSUPERVISED unruly obnoxious little children.  When I got there, two chairs and a trash can had been thrown into the deep end and the pool cover looked like it wanted to run screaming from the premesis.

So I walked over to one of the two older kids (who I hoped was the leader) and said "Hi.  My name is Ms. Spinster and I would like to do some exercising in the pool today.  I brought all of you some presents, so if you'll help me clean up the pool and will give me fifteen minutes of it to myself, you can have the presents and keep them.  Deal?"

This kid was no dummy...he wanted to know what the presents were before he negotiated a cease fire.

I don't know how, but I was smart enough not to cave.  "Sorry kid. You either agree to my terms or I take my presents and go home."

He stood there for a minute and finally decided to go for it, so he hollered for all of his little minions to get the crap out of the pool, he pulled the little ones away from what ever they were doing to the cover, and then pretty much demanded payment.

I broke out into a panic attack and prayed.  "Sweet mother of all that is holy, please let these kids like books and not decide to drown me in three feet of water."

Seven books.  Seven tiny little asses sitting quiety on seven chairs, and I had an entire half hour of doing my manatee prancydancing and cloud peeping in peace and quiet.  I swear...it's going to take a month of Sundays to wipe this grin off of my face.








54 comments:

  1. I would have drowned the little boogers, but it seems you're much kinder and more clever than I am.

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  2. Surely the Body Corporate of the building has rules and regulations about unsupervised children and vandalism.
    It might be good to familiarize yourself or better still, ask management to clarify how they are inforced.

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  3. Have to agree with MargaretP. There have to rules, and they should be enforced, as much for the fact that management wishes to mitigate any liability they might have for death or injury to the little beasts. And, you are a far better woman than I, Gunga Din. Such bribery would not have occurred to me. Having a serious conversation with the property manager would have, and would have been far less effective I am sure. Glad you got your pool time combined with peace and quiet.

    You should have a whole lot more confidence than you appear to have in your problem-solving skills. Wow.

    My Mr. Husband is spending the afternoon with one of his consulting clients, I am glued to the TV news, and looking forward to a lovely Italian meal tonight with good friends.

    Hope you have a wonderful evening.....prayers continue.

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  4. The point here is that a ten year old simply can't be expected to supervise six other kids. There's no excuse for vandalism at any age. Tell (don't ask) management to identify and speak to the supposed parents and post pool rules. A good one to consider: no child under the age of 13 is allowed in the pool area without an adult (age eighteen and older.) You are a renter and have a right to enjoy the amenities without harassment or assault. I would stress how worried you are for the safety of the children and suggest that children's services should become involved to protect them from careless or inattentive parents,grandparents or other caregivers. You are not being mean. You are acting as a responsible adult, and good for you.

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  5. Coni~ your awesome. I'm so glad the books worked. I've noticed more & more kids being left to fend for themselves. In my state kids have to have adult supervision or can be removed by HRS especially if they are lil heathens running amuck. It's so dangerous for little ones to be by them selves too many nuts out in the world & too many ways kids can get injured.

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  6. I'm with Judith. Children's services should be notified. Leaving small children unattended at a swimming pool is neglect (at best).

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  7. What a great idea & what could be a fun relationship with those kids! Maybe they might welcome some talking or reading with an adult. They obviously don't have anyone at home after school to guide them in the right direction. I'll bet those kids would love some attention, especially of the positive kind. This could turn into a win win for both parties Coni. ��

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  8. Brilliant! I think school MUST be starting soon and then you will get a reprieve. And I do think there should be rules somewhere. You always bring a smile to my face, Ms. Prancydancing! Keep cool!

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  9. Very cool beans!

    That said...moron parents probably see you at the pool and think that their kids are 'supervised'. I've had it happen to me at the school bus stop. No other parent wanted to be out early in all kinds of weather and I was there with a horde of kids each a.m.

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  10. Yahoo for you.Coni!! You really accomplished something wonderful not just for you but especially for those kids.

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  11. I have lived in my home for 13 years now. I don't have a pool. My neighbors, on either side do. I don't have a problem on one side - the guy that lives there is single and gives me no problems. The other side, geesee.... Three different families have lived there. The last two with children. To the point of me planting screening plants, dashing to the vet because I truly believe they poisoned my two dogs. This last family - their son shot one of my windows with a BB gun - $800 dollars later, I still have not received an apology, much less an offer of payment for the damage. People and their children are shameless and nasty. Don't get me wrong - I love kids - as long as they are raised correctly. I blame the parents - Okay, yeah, I blame the kids too. I have my own kids. Do you even think for a moment they would get away with this stuff. Parents need to take responsibility for their children's actions - since it totally reflects back upon the parents. Okay, I'm through with my rant.

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  12. You put a grin on my face as well! Congratulations for your cleverness. Me, I'm the scaredy type and would have stayed inside, scared of the kids and would have missed out on the pool time. Around kids, I tend to revert to being a 6 year old terrified of the other kids. You, on the other hand, were so much more clever and bully for you! What a great idea! Are you sure you weren't a teacher in another life? Whether or not they will admit it, that will definitely be a memory for them and a positive one using books!
    Nancy

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  13. You go girl!!!! I am thankful those friggin brats didn't chuck you in the water. I cannot believe that apartment complex allows such misbehavior going on. And like someone says"Where are a the parents???" I guess that is what the word BULLY means. Did you ever consider a stun gun???( just kidding)

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  14. Wow. I have no children by choice (mostly my choice), but this would have tested a saint! And I agree w/several of the other posters: management needs to be involved. Perhaps that's why more adults aren't utilizing the pool. Being the witch *itch I am I would have taken pics of the trash can in the pool as well as pictures of these unsupervised children. Utterly ridiculous. Where is the parent?
    MaryO1230

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  15. Hmm is this one of those "mostly true" stories?

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  16. If you start running out of book bribes, Coni, you might dip into your stash of PLS required reading (which I'm sure you are still holding onto) for bribes. That'll keep the little scholars at bay. Enjoy the pool!

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  17. oh my gosh that is so precious. Sorry I couldn't help but laugh. There is nothing more annoying though is there. Where on earth were the children's parents? In fact where were the pool supervisors stopping them throw things into the pool. Terrible security measures. I have 2 kids and if they had behaved like this at those ages they would have been most certainly pulled into line and taken home. Your patience is to be applauded, I would have yelled at the little blighters I think and probably told them in no uncertain terms what they should be doing.

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  18. This is one of your best posts! As a mom of two recent college graduates I can safely say you have passed parenting 101 with flying colors: bribery is the unsung hero here. I'm still laughing. You go girl!!!

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  19. PS I stopped chuckling long enough to offer you some advice: it's actually very bad parenting those kids are not supervised at that age. There is NO excuse. I will offer you, Coni, a word of caution. You really don't want to be the only adult with these kids. If something happens to them, you may be held accountable. Just watch those irresponsible parents show up if they think a pay day is involved! You don't need this additional liability.

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  20. Well done Ms Coni!!! Yes you are a genius!!! :D Love, hugs & prayers, Cathryn ♥

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  21. I have to agree with Mari. As the only adult on site, you might be held liable for their behavior. Perhaps you can change your pool times. Good thinking with the books though. I don't like being around unruly children either! Wonder what would happen if you called the police the next time you saw them being unruly and unsupervised!

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  22. Oh so much to say. First, it is a complex pool and one person's preferences and inhibitions shouldn't mean that other people can't use the pool. I also don't believe unsupervised kids using the complex pool is something for you to call children's services over. Certainly the management needs to be aware of the situation, and they should enforce the rules and speak to the families in question. And if children's services needs to be called, it is better if the complex management does it.

    Personally I applaud gifting books in all situations. But in this world, giving anything to a child you don't know and whose parents don't know you could get you labeled as a dangerous person. So I recommend you speak to the parent(s) yourself; ask the management to introduce you. And take that opportunity to say that they seem like nice kids (after all they responded positively to your request--bribe aside), but because of your health issues, you wouldn't be able to save one of the kids if something were to happen to them. (Don't make it sound like you don't want the kids there at all.) And say that you hoped they didn't mind that you gave the kids books--it's just in your nature to want to share your love of reading (or something similar). You might get a positive response from the parents. You might make friends with these families. You might even ask if you can hire the kids to help you carry items from time to time?

    And if you enjoyed sharing the books, you might be able to talk the management into having a sharing library in the complex. Some of our local parks have reading corners. There are waterproof boxes with books to share. You can leave a book or take a book or just read it while you're at the park and put it back in the box.

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    1. I forgot to say that you could ask the complex management to rope off part of the pool for adult-only use. That's what the management at our development pool has done. That way the adults who want to do laps don't have to dodge the kids playing marco polo or other games. It's a win-win for everybody.

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    2. WHAT PLANET ARE YOU LIVING ON? Coni never called child services nor did she expect others not to use the pool!?
      Coni, just ignore these twits. You did good girl.

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  23. Coni, good for you on coming up with a temporary solution! Books always rank up there in my book of bribery. Enjoy your Friday!

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  24. Coni, I applaud your patience and solution. I am very surprised that unsupervised children are at the pool. Is there a life guard on duty? If not, the complex may very well be at risk for a lawsuit if something goes south.

    I understand the concern about giving gifts to the kids, but make an effort to meet the parents if you can. (Gift giving is common tactic for predators.)

    I for one would never have let my kids go to the pool without a viable supervisor. But parents frequently take little or no responsibility for their kids. I see it when I travel and use hotel pools. I am always amazed.

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  25. BRILLIANT !!! Not only did you accomplish your goal, of Spinster Sticher Bliss - but you are helping for form young minds !!!!!

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  26. I might be one to say I love the laughter of kids and would close my eyes and enjoy it. But I'm also one who thinks there is nothing meaner than children who are on their own. So, I have to give you tons of credit for even getting in that pool with them. It looks like you're using your head though, and you deserve a whole lot of credit for the courage that takes.

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  27. Coni, What a brilliant idea! I would have never thought of that. It is a sad testament of our society that kids are so unsupervised today, especially ones so young. Maybe your "help" will be a positive influence. (I'll look at this positively and not as them learning bribery is great.)

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  28. I think I would have gone with the sedatives or stayed cowering and beating myself up in my room. So proud of you Coni you are an awesome human being.

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  29. Your solution worked....thanks to you the imps settled down to the possibilities that reading could bring...but this is an issue that must be settled by management (if they wish to avoid a possible law-suit) No one at any age has the right to disrupt or destroy.. that should be a given. Proper postings and warnings on the premises that
    such behavior has consequences should leave little doubt
    about what is expected and required. The lack of responsibility by these Parents is lamentable... no wonder the children responded to your positive attention...pudding proof...

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  30. BRIBERY .....it works every time!!!
    Glad you had your "spa time".

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  31. I'm glad your creative idea worked if even for that short time. I'm appalled that those kids are unsupervised at the pool just on safety issues alone. I'm surprised that the management isn't doing anything about it because they most likely would be held at least partially liable if/when someone gets hurt.

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  32. ...and don't get me started on the neglectful parents!

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  33. How can you not love watching children laughing and having fun? I mean this nicely, but can you please stop ranting about everything? You have a pool - how great is that? People sent you $25K.Please, please appreciate what you have. Would love to hear some gratitude, or change name of your blog to "Miss Cranky Pants."

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    1. This sounds like a troll. Begone.

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    2. Are you the same "Unknown" that chose to cast aspersions as to whether or not this story was true (up above)?

      I responded to that and then deleted my post because I decided to rise above it.

      But now, you have crossed a line. Coni has been NOTHING BUT grateful of all the kindnesses people have shown her.

      So don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you - no one is forcing you to read this blog, so go pound sand!!!!

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    3. Unknown - there is a big difference between children laughing and playing and children vandalizing property. And it's obvious your mother never taught you that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. I echo the others' sentiments: move along.

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    4. Unknown - You are a lousy human being. Anyone who posts anonymously is the lowest of the low. You don't belong in the group that reads this blog. Take a hike.

      Delete
  34. I'm sorry (nah not really) but throwing trash bins into the pool is NOT kids having fun. Destructo-tots are a PITA to be around. Period.

    For the record, Coni has thanked people multiple times. Don't know where you've been.

    -clapping hands- begone you have no power here...lol

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  35. I would not have been able to handle this as well as you did. I go straight to complaining to the management. I'm surprised they allowed these children at all, considering they would be sued if one got hurt. Just two months ago a boy died in the Niles pool area.

    My daughter and I were shopping at University Park Macy's yesterday, the shoe department. A so-called Mother allowed her 2 children to pull all the shoes off the clearance rack. They were in piles all over the floor. The Mother just sat there and watched. The staff were appalled but could only call security. Security couldn't do anything but hope she would leave. It was flat out awful.

    My daughter and I then went to the Olive Garden across the street. One table had two parents and four children. The children literally screamed the entire meal. They disrupted the meals of everyone near and not so near. My daughter and I don't get to do this very often and we could hardly hear each other talk. It was awful. I complained to the waitress, she said Management does not allow them to ask people like this to leave. So these screaming children held everyone in the restaurant hostage.

    Thanks for letting me rant. I raised a well behaved child. It's getting awful out there. And you are grateful, that "Unknown" creep needs to learn some manners too. If she is going to make nasty comments like that, she needs to sign her real name or remain a sniveling coward hiding behind anonymity.

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  36. Coni,
    My pastor says any writing of nastiness that he receives from the infamous Anonymous should be ignored, thrown away, gotten rid of with no concern whatsoever. If a person can't put a name to their complaint and stand behind it, it isn't worth the time of the person they are complaining to. I always believed him, but now that belief means even more. People doing things like that need to get a life and mind their own business in that life they chose. Just because they aren't f2f with a person doesn't allow them to spew whatever vitriol their small mind comes up with. I proudly use my name.

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  37. I love that you out-smarted the little angels!! Haha!! And with books none the less! But seriously where are their parents?!??

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  38. I'm sorry (nah not really) but throwing trash bins into the pool is NOT kids having fun. Destructo-tots are a PITA to be around. Period.
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  39. You were put in a crummy situation and handled it beautifully! You took lemons and made lemonade! it is not your responsibility to notify anyone, or put yourself into any relations with the parents. Too many kids are being left to be raised by the village while their parents are as cluless as the village idiot. Hugs

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