Jul 17, 2017

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD...

I swear this could only happen to me.

After a lovely shower, some clean clothes, and the emptying of the dishwasher and trash, I was off to the grocery.  I chanted to myself the entire way there (which is basically across a parking lot) "Use the scooter.  Use the scooter.  Use the scooter."

I parked, grabbed my list and reusable bags, and made my way into the store.

No scooters.

Now a smart person would have turned right around and driven the four and a half seconds home (really...I'm not kidding about the distance, kids.  You can SEE the damn grocery store from my front window!), but this is me we're talking about.

So I made my way through the store and got what I needed and ended up making it home with five bags.

Five lousy bags.

I was sooooo careful to not overload myself, and on the first trip I nicely balanced a heavy bag and a light bag in my right hand and used my left to hold on to the handrail and pull myself right up the steps.

The second trip was two medium bags, and I made it up...slowly...but nevertheless got where I needed to go.

On the third trip, I only had one very light bag and a few pieces of mail that I retrieved from the box.  I was doing great...a little sweaty and winded...but I was being so very careful and taking my time when

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THAT PAIN IN MY RIGHT CALF AND WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY IS STABBING ME WITH A RED HOT POKER?!?!

I think I pulled a muscle.

Or several dozen muscles.

All I know is that my right calf hurts so bad that I think it's going to be a year and a half before I can walk on that leg again.

Good thing I got the darn groceries.

OK.  I'm going to go onto the Amazon to get the bloody cart thingie that you all recommended, and then I'm going to create a Match.com profile that says "Portly spinster looking for gentleman companion who will take her grocery shopping once a week and cart her bags up a flight of eighteen steps for her.  Must love needlework and oddballs who blather on endlessly about their deceased pets named Stewey. A resemblance to Jeffrey Dean Morgan is helpful but not mandatory.  Mental health professionals in need of test subjects strongly encouraged to apply."

It's not easy being me.

Tonight I am perched in the Happy Chair with ice packs and Tylenol and lots of ice water and stitching. I hope your Monday has been muscle pull free and that your needles are flying!

24 comments:

  1. Ouch! Coni- this is not your day! Take care of yourself!
    Luv
    MaryO1230 🤕😫

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  2. Gracious girlie! What are we going to with you??

    Now for a bit of advice, either the guy must look like Jeffery Dean Morgan or ........his twin brother. Never sell yourself short!

    Feel better soon!

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  3. Coni
    when my guys were little they used a piece of rope & a milk crate to host their goodies up to the treehouse.
    Sit back relax & enjoy your evening.
    Blessings
    Baa

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  4. Oh Coni, my goodness! It's always something, isn't it?! A cart or a good-looking fella may just be the answer to your grocery problems! Feel better.

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  5. Oh no :-( But was your bra on right side out at least?

    Susan (aka Anonymous)

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  6. Oh Coni, I am so sorry to hear this. You were just trying to get your groceries to eat healthy. What awful luck. I DO know the feeling however. I'm in a wheelchair and it's so very hard for DH to load it up sometimes we just go to WalMart and hope for a scooter. Sometimes we have turned around because there aren't any and we live about 1/2 an hour away. Ah well, such is life. We do the best we can with what we've got. Praying your calf will heal QUICKLY! Love, hugs & prayers, Cathryn ♥

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  7. OMG Coni! I am so sorry. Go back on Amazon and order some Biofreeze. Works wonders. Learned about it while in physical therapy for my knee.

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  8. In my part of Indiana, I can go online to my local Kroger, order my groceries and arrange a pick up time. Drive up to the front door and have they put into the car. Haven't tried it yet but friends have and love it. Your target delivers so the question is does your target have a grocery? One of mine does, one doesn't. Where are the BOy scouts when you need them?

    JHM

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  9. Oh Connie, I'm so sorry you are hurting! Please get a cart and also check if the will shop and either do free pickup or deliver to your home. Here Wal-Mart and Shop rite will do a curbside pick up and Shop rite will deliver to you home for a fee. Take care
    Hugs,
    Rose

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  10. Coni,
    Glad you got home ok. Sorry to hearabout your muscles hurting. I have tried the Walmart grocery on line order and pick up at the one near me and it went great. They also had a $10 off code for my first order. Take care and I hope you get to feeling better!

    Jennifer

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  11. Oh no, I do hope both the right calf and left arm are feeling much better by now. Amazon's pantry boxes are worth a look, although I do not what the local grocery stores or the local Target will do for you.
    Match.com. It is amazing what one can find on line these days. I met my marvelous husband on Match.com in May of 2000. By then, my therapist and I had managed to stitch me back together pretty well. I signed up one evening, and the next morning, there he was. 3 paragraphs that turned out to be perfection. Now way back in 2000, EHarmony did not exist. As we watch those commercials together, we look at each other and say "maybe we should give that a try", and laugh hysterically. Yeah, we are weird.

    By the way, I am rather fluffy....that didn't seem to be a hindrance.

    And on an entirely different subject, Go Arya. I am so relieved I was not playing the Game of Thrones drinking game last night, as I would not have seen anything after the first 5 minutes. As we move forward with a song in our heart and a rabbit on the spit, there is only one thing to do. Shall we begin?

    Prayers continue.....

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  12. Hugs and prayers, Coni. This, too, shall pass - but why on earth should you go through this when you're doing everything you can to be so careful????

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  13. Coni, two things--1) Did you call your doctor just in case it isn't a pulled muscle? With your health issues, I'm sure she'd want to know. 2) Take your perishables in first and let the rest wait until you feel up to going out to the car again. Sometimes it would take my mom a week to unload all her shopping from the car because she'd bring it in a bag at a time when she wasn't feeling well. (And she'd never ask for help! And it wasn't always safe to offer.)OK, I lied, three things--get to know a neighbor with a kid looking to make a couple bucks. And pay said kid to haul your groceries upstairs.

    Hope you're feeling a bit better.

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  14. I happen to be scooter expert. Here are my tips:
    1. Go out early in the day. There's lots of gimps out here and we all want a scooter.
    2. You can judge the availability of the scooter supply before you go into the store by how many handicapped parking spots are available. If they're all filled, chances are slim that a scooter is going to be available.
    3. You never have to ask for help to reach something. People are v happy to approach out of the blue and ask you if they can help you.
    4. In case there is no one around and you need something from a high shelf, carry a cane with you. take the cane and make like you are going to knock something down from the top shelf and people will come running out of nowhere to help you.
    5. Never drive the scooter out to the parking lot. Stop at the door, transfer your stuff to a regular cart and plug the scooter in for the next guy.
    6. If you see a scooter outside just waiting for you to climb into it DON'T DO IT. Those seats get hot pretty fast and you will have a new health problem called Roasted Butt Cheeks.

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  15. Hope your leg is feeling better today! Thinking of you!

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  16. Coni, you might look at this they are shoppers that deliver. Instacart
    https://www.instacart.com

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  17. NeedlesandBlackCatJuly 18, 2017 at 10:31 AM

    Bless your little brave, true heart. Some days simply pulling on those big girl panties is enough, can I get an amen? WE'RE PROUD OF YOU. But what was this about limitations and recognizing them? Okay, chastising over. Ditto to the Biofreeze. Double ditto to Amazon Prime Pantry. (And Honey, Prime is probably cheaper than the Targets.) In so far as muscle spasms, cramps, etc. go: tonic water. Drink it. It has quinine which was used as a medicine in the days of sea voyages. I have a lot of issues with cramps and spasms in the legs and that's what my doctor recommended--but check with your doctor first. Unfortunately, you have to drink it straight--no gin. We're all pulling for you girlfriend.

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  18. Hope your leg is much better. I love your humor and your way of making fun of a situation. You have the best attitude.

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  19. Rather than forge ahead in the market, pat an employee on
    the shoulder and say you would appreciate the next available scooter, sit down and usually in very little time one is driven up to you. Have refrigerated items packed separately, per Karen, out of car first. But the
    idea of scouting the neighborhood for a dedicated teen to
    be available on an appointed day, is a good one. Whatever
    happened to the prime solution:
    "Shopformeanddelivertomydoor.com"???
    Hope your leg calms down quickly.

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  20. I vote with whomever suggested contacting one of your medical doctors, about the leg pain -- you've got so many physical issues, the ex-EMT in me goes "ummmm..." -- just to be on the safe side, y'know. And also that you need to find a neighbor in the near future who can help cart stuff upstairs. And, if you're placing that match.com ad, hold out for -- if not a JDM look-alike -- at least someone who is "easy on the eyes"! ;->
    Lynn in southern NJ

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  21. Oh no! :( I hope you have a speedy recovery!

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  22. Hope you are on the mend! Please let me know if I can help out. I am not that far away.

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  23. Oh Coni...Your second-last paragraph says it all, and I quote: "It's not easy being me." No, Darling, it is not. It's very hard to be seriously sick.
    But think of you supportive friends who commented on this post, alone. Isn't Suzette a Sweetheart? Sharing her 'scooter tips', like that. And Lynn B., who wants you to make certain that all you have is a pulled muscle. And Laura who praised you for fighting back with your healthy attitude, and of course...your wonderful sense of humour. We love you, Coni!
    Seriously, Coni, please get your calf checked out. My sweet sister developed DVT back in January...a very serious situation! If you still find it hard to walk today, I would go to the doctor! Please?
    I wish we all lived in the same city...

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  24. You have been given good advice! Just sending my prayers, love, and hugs..

    Debbie in Kansas

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