What can I say?
Sloth is a hard habit to break.
Anywhoose...there I was, snoring away in the big girl sleigh bed, when I saw Stewey prancing toward me across a field of daisies wearing his little smoking jacket. At first, I was so overjoyed to see him that I fell to my knees, broke into the ugly cry, and reached out to touch his furry little self and clutch him to my heaving bosom.
And then I saw it
His little clipboard.
"Mo-ther. You have indulged yourself in a lot of silly nonsense since my departure...not the least of which is a complete break down of any sort of homekeeping management organization that I worked so hard to put in place. The kitchen is untidy, the gardens are untended, and the list of items that you should be completing grows and grows while you futz about without any regard whatsoever for proper time management. YOU ARE MOVING SOON, MO-THER, AND DESPITE YOUR RECENT HISTORY OF MIRACLES DROPPING OUT OF THE SKY, NOBODY...AND I MEAN NOBODY...IS GOING TO COME PUT YOUR BIG GIRL OLD LADY UNDERCLOTHES IN A BOX AND TAPE IT SHUT."
I confess to gawping like a fish at him, because I expected that he would collapse into my arms smelling of baby shampoo and weeping copious tears over how much he misses me, but alas, it was not so.
"I've taken the liberty of drafting a comprehensive plan for you, Mo-ther. As you will see, it provides for a smooth and orderly transition to our new home and should result in very little last minute angst and hand-wringing fretting on your part, despite your Olympic medal winning status in both of those categories. It will, however, require you to actually DO SOMETHING besides sitting in our Happy Chair looking at pretty pictures on the Pinterest, so put on a support bra and some shoes, and hop to it!"
With that, he handed me a little book that looked remarkably like Erin, my day planner. In it were post it notes indicating the task for each week. This week and next are devoted to purging and donating, the week after is packing, and then the actual moving will take place the week of June 5.
Hmmmmm. All this time I thought "I'm not moving until June for Pete's sakes! I've got plenty of time yet to consider how I'm going to cram 10 pounds of crap in a 5 poind bag" but it would seem that (as usual) Stewey knows best and I better get a move on.
I didn't have time to ask him anything else or to thank him for sending you all to look after me, but I suspect that he will show up again as soon as I accompllish something worthy of a reward. Stay tuned for further updates. I have two appointments tomorrow afternoon, but promise to be good and get at least one drawer or closet sorted/purged before calling it quits!
Now, though, I'm off to the kitchen to make a baked potato with broccoli and a nice little salad. I resisted temptation last night at Grocery Guild and didn't partake in the birthday treats for Miss Charlene, and methinks it paid off! If my crappy scale is correct, I am down another two pounds for the week which means I am still on track!
Happy Wednesday evening, kids! See you tomorrow!