Apr 15, 2017

IN WHICH I DECIDE TO BE THE BOSS OF EVERYBODY

OK, first things first.

A very large and hearty THANK YOU to you all for my birthday wishes, happy thoughts, and greetings. I am so tickled by the number of you that wrote or called or sent your good vibes my way.  I had a positively wonderful, happy, happy birthday.

Now on to our order of business for the day.  Please bear with me while I climb atop my soapbox for a moment.  (Gentlemen in the front row there, would you be so kind as to lend me a hand?)

Thank you.

Now...if you will all repeat after me:

"I (insert your name, Instagram handle, Flosstube channel name, or however you choose to call yourself) do solemly swear that on this day, the 15th day of April, in the year 2017, that I will take and accept the OATH OF SASSY NESS.  This oath, which I undertake freely and with sound (ish) mind and whole heart means that heretofore I will STOP ALL STITCHY SHAMING if I have been engaged in such, and, more importantly, I will heretofore henceforce and forthwith STOP ALL SELF SHOULDING.  Forever and ever.  Upon my sacred vow.  By the powers vested in me.  Amen."

Enough is enough, kids.  I have been watching Flosstube videos, attending Guild meetings, and reading stitchy blogs like a crazy person, and last night the same thing kept hitting me right between the eyeballs:

"Forgive my lighting...my nose itching...the paper crinkles...my camera focus...my dog/cat/baby wanting attention...sorry for being away...the angle...I really shouldn't have bought all this haul...I really should finish a WIP...sorry, sorry, apology, apology, apology, should, should, should..."

Can I just say this once and for all?  This thing of ours and this community of like-minded souls is comprised of a lovely, gentle, wholesome, creative pastime loved by the kindest, most talented, bravest, smartest, and genuinely most wonderful people on the planet.  What in the name of all that is holy do we have to feel bad about?!  

Too much stash?  Sorry, but there's no such thing.  No, I agree with you that it's not a contest, but when it comes to spending money on something, I can certainly think of about eighteen things at least that are worse than beautiful linens and threads and needlepoint canvases. So you spent the rent money on cross stitch charts this month.  Instead of beating yourself up about it, why not think of the shop owner or designer who made a llittle something from your purchase, or the fact that you might have contributed nicely to a grandchild's college fund?

I get it.  I really do.  I have spent 51 years on this planet mired in guilt, shame, and humiliation for this, that, and the other.  If I could, I'm sure I would find a way to take the blame for global warming, the fall of Enron, and whatever mess is breaking out in another corner of the world that I have never been to, let alone find on a map.  I take crappy photographs, do stuff ass backwards, have more quirks and bad habits than I can list in a book, and I will probably never win the Nobel or Miss Anything.  Ever.

But why should all of that follow me into my stitchy world?  Why can't we all just grab our oversized bags full of our stitchy stuff, hold hands, sing Kum Ba Ya, and get on with it?  We're not running a crack den or selling puppies into slavery...we're stitchers for pity sakes!  And our stitching brings us joy and happiness and comfort and stimulation and peace in a world that could use a whole lot more of all of those things.

So you just get on with your stitchy self.  Don't you worry one little bit about any more silliness when you're making a video or posting a picture or writing a comment or stitching your stitching.  I, for one, love every single bit of it and every single part of you, and am just feeling incredibly lucky to have found a place here.

Enough.

No more shaming.

No more shoulding.

Thank you for your time.  We'll get back to our regularly scheduled programing as soon as we finish flitting about this rainbow on the back of our purple glitter unicorn.


40 comments:

  1. I'm humming Kum Ba Ya, softly, very softly. So happy you had a grand birthday! Carry on.

    Sandra from Texas

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  2. I just saw this as I was battling between 'paperwork' and stitching a couple of rows of background.
    Thanks to you, gentle woman, background wins--

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  3. Heh, heh, heh... Well, the first thought is the old claim - she who dies with the most stitchy things wins. My thinking is, if I still have stitching to do, I plan on stitching and finishing everything that I have... Love you Miss Connie and give Mr. Bosco a sweet kiss from me. Happy Easter everyone!

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  4. Your words sure made a difference in my life today. Thank you. Wishing you every good thing in this world and then some!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!!!

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  5. Thank you for your comments. I think a huge part of the problem is there are too many BETTYS out there who are shooting down the confidence of others.

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  6. I need a 'Like' button like they have on Facebook! Well said.

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  7. Today, for the first time in my entire life, I stepped foot in an actual Needlework Shop (I'm forced to buy everything online since there's no LNS within hours of me). I must admit I went a big hog wild...I saw all those opalescent linens (omg!), beautiful charts and silken threads, and pretty much died of happiness while doing two hours of blissful shopping. Then I got in the car and realized I'd spent $350 and the guilt started setting in. You know what? I can tighten my belt elsewhere...I will not spoil my happy day and my excitement with guilt. Thanks for that Connie! Happy belated b-day to you and a hugs to Bosco.

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    1. Loved your story. Didn't you have fun at the needlework shop? And you will have such a grand time creating beautiful stitching. Enjoy!

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  8. Golly this can apply to a LOT of things in our lives can't it?! Well said,Coni :)
    I'm in!!

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  9. All right! Count me in too! My kids are grown no grands yet so I'll pay my lil bit of bills & buy fabrics threads chocolate etc can't get a DUI/DWI for stitching stuff lol
    Happy Easter y'all
    Blessings Baa

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  10. I spent some of my tax refund on Mill Hill kits and other items. Didn't feel guilty. Cross stitch is my yoga and therapy.

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  11. 😂🌹🌻💓👍👏👯

    Words fail me!

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  12. You are such a wise woman! I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't have kids (apart from the 6 foot Scottish husband one!), I rarely socialise, life with MS can really get me down, so as of this very minute I'm going to stop feeling guilty about the time and money I spend on my stitching! It gives me total pleasure and that can only be a good thing! Coni, you rock!

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  13. Applause.... looking around. Yes, everyone else is giving you a standing ovation along with me! I do solemnly swear... Amen. I took the oath. Hugs & Prayers, Cathryn

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  14. Bravo, dear lady! Words of wisdom. Happy Easter!

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  15. Perfect post!! So well said. Thank you, Coni.

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  16. Kum ba ya, Kum ba ya,.............

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  17. Coni - Have I told you that you rock? YOU DO! Thank you for a lovely post. A most needed post when I didn't even know it was needed. I love our stitching craft/hobby/need to do it or I can't breath thing. And I love after my 8 hour job that I get to come home, to my husband, our son and my two dogs and I can stitch until my heart is content. We are lucky people to have such a wonderful "thing" to do - to be creative and just, like you say Coni, to have joy.

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  18. Thank you so very much!!!!!

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  19. Well said! I am a lurker but fully agree. No more apologizing!

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  20. I must tell you. I have pain in my hands and hate the day when I can no longer stitch. However, my husband bought me this crazy stand for Christmas that cost close to $200.00 and it has made all the difference in the world. Now that I'm not holding the Q-snap or circle hoop it's really not too much of a problem. I felt guilty about that price; but, it has made a huge difference. Thanks for standing up for us wimps.

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  21. This came at the perfect time for me. I bought 2, not one but 2, large needlepoint canvases on Saturday. But my LNS has a new owner due to the tragic death of the previous owner and Saturday was the grand reopening. So, I'm supporting her. And one of them is a Christmas stocking for my first grandchild due in August. The other is a canvas that I've had my eye on for over a year. I was feeling a bit of buyer's remorse, but you just got rid of it for me! I took the oath and I'm going forward! Thanks and happy birthday!

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  22. Thank you. I put up my first Flosstube video. No one I know stitches around me until I started teaching 2 ladies how to cross stitch. All these videos have made me a difference with my enjoyment of stitching. Thank you

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  23. Stitchers united we stand!! Coni, you are the best dose of medicine anyone could ever take. Everything you said is right on. I am so glad that I can follow you on your blog. Happy stitching, buying, coveting, etc..............

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  24. Very well said. I read your blog and love it. Wishing you a very happy birthday.. xxxx

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  25. Well said! And on a related note (maybe this is more for quilters & garment sewers?) Please stop pointing out errors on the finished works! When someone compliments you on your work, say "thank you!" or "thank you, it turned out pretty good" and stop.

    Now, I must whine...your writing of flosstube has induced me to go see what it's about. I really really don't need yet another internet distraction to keep me from working on my own projects. Harumph. :-)

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  26. Great perspective. I love every stitchy thing I own.

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  27. Great perspective. I love every stitchy thing I own.

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  28. Amen! I don't apologize because...who cares?! Not me!

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