Jan 30, 2016

WHY YOU REALLY NEED TO DIAL DOWN THE CRAZY WHEN YOU'RE ON A FIELD TRIP

You really can't take me anywhere.

Yesterday's adventure was completely uneventful from a medical standpoint (at least I hope so and will find out in about a week), but it did confirm the fact that, like Tylenol, I should have come with a warning label:

"Warning! Spinster should be taken in small doses.  Overexposure may lead to having to suffer through fits of hysterical blathering meant to deflect awkward situations, but really only add to the circus-like atmosphere of having to examine the pendulous attachments of one very giggly, shy, chatterbox idiot who can't stop muttering about field trips, amusement parks, and Happy Meals."

I was doing just fine..reading my book in the waiting room, then changing into the capelet and promising that I didn't slather on deoderant or powder, and even when I was signing the form that said this was  just a routine visit. (Hello?  You've met me.  Is anything I do ever routine?)

But the minute the technician came at me with the nipple stickers (I'm sure there's a term for them, but all I know is that taking the damn things off is more shades of grey than THIS portly gal ever bargains for)...I immediately burst into a fit of nutso and blurted out "Oh, look girls!  Party hats!"

Yeah...that definitely broke the ice.

The poor tech looked like she wanted to call for backup and it was all business after that.  They really should award her combat pay for having to deal with the likes of...me.

So today will be a lesson in being q.u.i.e.t. and getting back to some stitching.  The sun is shining and Stewey is snoozing happily in his little window bed.  At some point I'm going to have to ride the vacuum around this place and hit the market for provisions, but for now methinks a few hours of solitude might be just what I (and the rest of the world) needs.

Have a spectacular weekend!  Here's hoping YOUR party hats are the non-adhesive kind!


25 comments:

  1. Party Hats!!!! Love it! Made me laugh first thing this morning. Thanks. Love to Stewey

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  2. A factoid: the bra was invented by a frenchman. I wonder from which country the inventor of the 'party hat' for nipples comes.

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  3. Pendulous!! Haha. I stalk your blog and this post is hilarious! I just went through all that too this past Monday. I hope you have a good outcome. Me? I have to go back for more pictures, unfortunately. Thanks for the laugh, needed it.

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  4. Aw, I never get party hats....

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  5. Too funny! I didn't even know there were party hats! Love this blog!

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  6. Thank you for the chuckle, Coni! I hope your test results come back A-Okay. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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  7. You made me smile today Coni...I just got a reminder letter about a week ago that's it time for me to make my annual appt to have the girls checked. It's never fun but usually goes very quickly at least!

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  8. LMBO! What a great sense of humor you have!!! Love it! :D Cathryn

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  9. Party hats, huh? Laughed my way through Menards today after reading your post in the parking lot. LOL

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  10. Hi there spinster stitcher. I am a faithful reader of your blog. Yiou always manage to add a smile to my day. Today however, I laughed so hard I cried. The family thinks I have lost my marbles. I too have just had the annual mammogram festivies without the fun of party hats as a thought though. Next year I will think of you and chuckle.

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  11. I laughed out loud. Then I read that paragraph to my husband and he laughed out loud also! You are too funny!

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  12. I've never been offered party hats :( Clearly I do not hang out with the right crowd!

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  13. Reminds me, I must make "that" special appointment too! Now you know I will think of those stickers as party hats now!!!

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  14. Coni, as always you have brought a smile to our faces!! Thank you for taking the time to cheer our days!!

    Debbie in Kansas

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  15. I'm glad we don't get to wear party hats - ouchy!

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  16. Ach...my date for the mash 'em 'n flash 'em party is just around the corner...but they've never given out hats for my girls...is it a Hoosier thing, or are they just being stingy here? Hmmmm - must ask when I go in! Thanks for brightening up my dreary day! :D

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  17. You are too funny!! I hope you get good results back!

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  18. That is hilarious, and if the tech doesn't realize that she has no sense of humor at all!

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  19. Omgosh!! I never get party hats either...I'm in a meeting reading this and trying to keep myself under control!! Love you Coni!!

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  20. Omgosh!! I never get party hats either...I'm in a meeting reading this and trying to keep myself under control!! Love you Coni!!

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  21. You've just made it impossible for me to keep a straight face the next time I get the party hats slapped on me!!

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  22. You are way too funny! I can guarantee you that next time I go, I will make sure the girls know it is party time, hats and all!

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  23. Oh my that is so funny. If I was your tech, I would have laughed. When I worked in the medical field, I always enjoyed the patients that had a sense of humor.

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  24. OMG ! Hysterical ! Sitting at my desk reading your blog for lunch and now everyone thinks I'm a little nuts for sitting here laughing out loud !

    BTW, thank you for making me laugh next time I go for my annual appt. The girls NEVER enjoy it, but maybe this time they will !

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