- Arise promptly at 7 for a pre-dawn power walk around the block, followed by an invigorating shower and post-shower application of proper hairstyle and makeup.
- Dress appropriately in a festive sweater, clean jeans, and shoes, along with all accompanying undergarments.
- Don coat, scarf, and gloves and head out for labwork, bank, library, and grocery.
- Return home to decorate the Christmas tree, dust all surfaces, and sweep and wash all floors.
- Prepare a healthy luncheon and eat it at the table like a human person who knows how to put a napkin in her lap.
- Tea time with Stewey. 4 o'clock.
- Await the arrival of Aunt Chrissy to Chez Little Spinster so that I can call her at 5:35pm to blather on endlessly about my day.
- Dinner. Salmon, broccoli, brown rice, apple crisp.
- Evening stitching and TeeVee watching.
- Bed for pre-sleep reading and discussion with Stewey. (This is usually the time he selects for an end of day analysis of my successes and failures as a Mo-ther, a person of somewhat limited homekeeping ability, and a complete disaster in the realm of efficiency and competence.)
Here's how the day has actually gone:
Fall out of bed in a daze and stumble to the back door to let Stewey out for his morning potty. Stub toe on the way to the treat closet and complain about the fact that it's dark and 47 degrees in the house and nobody in their right mind gets up at the crack of 9 am on a Monday if they don't have to. Give Stewey his breakfast, stumble back to bed for another hour and a half, and then make it to the kitchen without tripping over the several dozen toys in the dining room because "somebody" doesn't know how to fetch and leaves his crap all over the damn place. Make coffee, toss back a shot of cranberry juice like it's tequila, and then schlumpadink out to the mailbox to retrieve the newspaper. Read the paper, figure out the Jumble and the crossword puzzle, head back to the kitchen for eggs on toast. Check calendar to see what's on the agenda for the day. Realize that labwork was supposed to be "fasting" while glancing at the breakfast dishes. Shrug shoulders and push it to Wednesday. Collapse in Happy Chair. Look at meager progress on Stitching project. Head back to kitchen for dietCoke. Decide to run errands tomorrow. Try to remember if I've taken my adult gummie vitamin D and decide that since they taste like candy anyway, two more won't kill me. Check email, flip through 300 stitching blogs, lust over stitchy world's beautiful projects and marvel at its progress. Get sleepy. Head back to bed for a nap.
At least I have this to look forward to when I wake up from my nap, right? This is Laura J. Perin's Harvest Moon House.