Apr 12, 2012

A HAPPY BIRTHDAY MESSAGE TO MY AUNT CHRISSY, FROM MAASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP HIS VERY LITTLE SELF

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's in the kitchen swearing at the oven and wondering why she isn't bright enough to know how to make a cake from a box. Today is my Aunt Chrissy's birthday and all she asked for was a fudge marble cake with milk chocolate icing. That's all. Just a nice simple cake and a few good wishes from her idiot sister. You would think, from the sounds coming out of the old lady though, that Aunt Chrissy had asked for the moon instead.

So it's up to me to pull this little goat rodeo together and try to salvage what I'm sure will turn out to be a complete culinary disaster. I had suggested that Mo-ther try ordering a fancypants ice cream cake, but considering that she never listens to me and has a head like a rock, we're left with Duncan Hines and all his evil intentions. Phooey, I say to that. Next time I'm putting my foot down.

I don't talk about it often, but there hasn't been one day of my life that's gone by that I haven't wished that she was my mom instead. She is smart and pretty and funny and very very organized. She knows that pups like me require some intelligent discourse, a comfy pair of cotton pajamas, and several good tummy rubs during the day. She play with me and talks to me and calls me Twinklebutt just because she knows that I secretly love it. Whenever I've watered the drapes, she puts her hands on her hips and says "Stewey, I don't approve of you peeing on the drapes, but I'm pretty sure that your mo-ther had it coming. What did she do this time?". And then she listens as I pour my heart out and reveal all of the ugly truths about life here at Chez Spinster.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Chrissy. I love you with all my heart and hope you know how special you are.

With love from your nephew,
Stewey

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18 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday to Aunt Chrissy!

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  2. Shame on you, Stewey! Your mama is fabulous. Aunt Chrissy is also fabulous. We need to celebrate the fabulosity that is this dynamic duo of sisterhood. Best wishes to Aunt Chrissy, and - as the Dutch would say it - congratulations on the birthday of your sister. :)

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  3. Mm-mm, that cake sounds delish. Hope you can help your mo-ther pull it off! Happy Birthday to Aunt Chrissy!!!

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  4. A Great Big Happy Birthday from Tuscaloosa Alabama!!! I kinda like Duncan Hines. Anyhoo you need to meet my "Casey the Chi. from Heaven" Thank you for makeing me smile....

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  5. Cake sounds yummy. Happy Birthday to Aunt Chrissy!!

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  6. Dear Stewey: As my children will tell you, the Aunt Chrissy's of the world are all wonderful, but if you live with them, they're also expecting of certain behavior. Just be glad you are not in a pound, cage or shelter with no one to love you.

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  7. Stewey you are lucky to have Aunt Chrissy... but I do think your mom is special too. Now admit it...and happy birthday aunti Chrissy.

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  8. Duncan Hines...Betty Crocker's gay brother!! Honest!! Aunt Crissy sounds way to perfect for my taste..I like drama in my life so for me it's the spinster all the way(well at least until I get my hands on that cake!!)
    Happy Cake and Candle Day Aunt Crissy!!
    Hugs from Connie in Omaha NE

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  9. Happy birthday Aunt Chrissy, thanks for introducing stitching to Connie and making everyones world a brighter place. Enjoy the cake I am sure it will be a treat and even if it is not so perfect no one would dare to say bad things about birthday cake. Be good Stewey.

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  10. Stewie, please wish Aunt Chrissy a happy birthday from me! And you need to love on your mama...anyone that puts up with you peeing on the drapes is a saint! Something tells me your mama loves on you plenty!

    Debbie in Kansas

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  11. Happy Birthday Ms. Chrissy. As for you, Mr. Stewey, get up and kiss your sweet Mother's hide. After all, she's the one that brought you into this great big wonderful world,that you live in. I love your mother, Ms. Connie, and wish her and Ms. Chrissy, and you, all the best, for everything!!!

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  12. Happy birthday, Aunt Chrissy! Hope you enjoyed a lovely day. :)

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  13. Happy Birthday Aunt Chrissy! Belated though it is, I hope it was a lovely one :) Stewey, be nice to your Mama, you're a lucky little pup to have such a fabulous Mo-ther.

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  14. Please pass on some birthday wishes to Aunt Chrissy...we love hearing about the latest 'doings' with Stewey & Bosco. I hope she had some great birthday gifts!

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  15. Happy birthday to Aunt Chrissy.
    Stewy, the grass always looks greener on the other side, appreciate your mother.
    but, having 2 dogs myself I can see/hear what he is saying....one of mine tinkles on the floor when she is really mad at me, she did it on my bed twice until I threatened her with "the shot".
    Love your blog, I get such giggles from it, thank you.
    Judy in Kansas

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  16. Happy Belated Birthday Aunt Chrissy, and Happy Birthday Coni! Hope the cake was delish!

    Hugs,

    Marnie and Carmen

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  17. "goat rodeo"
    I love reading your posts for my morning giggle. I have a cat who demands tummy rubs several times a day, and more or less runs my life! Tommy.

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  18. I like this post! Very beautiful and touching!
    Such a nice and lovely birthday wishes for aunt Chrissy. Thumbs up to the blogger.

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