May 27, 2011

I COULD HAVE THRIVED WITH A SMARTER OWNER

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's lying outside in the middle of the lawn muttering something about moving to a dee-luxe apartment in the sky-eye-eye.

We never should have gotten out of the big girl sleigh bed this morning. It all started when I was rudely disturbed from my sweet puppy dreams by the sound of semi trucks pulling up in front of the house. Mo-ther didn't budge an inch, but I immediately jumped off of the bed, ran to the front door, barked my little fool head off, and peed on the rug for good measure.

It would appear that we are getting new neighbors today and that they have a lot of furniture and things. They also have four huge dogs.

Trust me when I tell you that I am not at all amused.

I tried to get the old lady out of the bed so that I could have proper Friday breakfast, but she just kept saying "Mommie isn't finished sleeping yet, Stewey. What don't you go watch the Today Show or something."

As if.

She knows that I only watch things that are intellectually or culturally stimulating. As a matter of fact, with all of my free time this morning, I programmed the remote control to only click on those channels that I deem appropriate for viewing by someone with my discriminating taste.

We'll see how long she lasts without her New Jersey Housewives and her incessant need to re-watch the Sex And The City II movie to see if it gets any better.

It doesn't.

After I poured a few cups of coffee down her throat, she stuffed herself into sweatpants and an old Notre Dame t-shirt and went outside to plant the garden:Looks like we're going to have tomatoes, cucumbers, red peppers, purple peppers, banana peppers, hot peppers, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and cauliflower. (Yes, this is the part where we all look at one another and say "There's no way all of that crap is going to grow in that little space"), but I'm going to let her figure it out as she goes along.

We'll just call it a learning experience.

Things were starting to look up for the day, but then Mo-ther came inside to discover that I had peed on almost every single thing in the house. Surprisingly, she just stood there in disbelief and then headed straight for the liquor cabinet.

I figure if she passes out, I'll call my Aunt Chrissy and then head over there for a little pizza and movie night with she and Bosco.

On the stitchy front, I know that Mommie Dearest is determined to finish Spring Quakers this weekend so that she can work on Stars on Memorial Day. It's supposed to be beautiful for two of the three days this weekend, so methinks we might even manage to do a little outside stitching for the first time this year!

I hope that y'all have a splendid time of it, wherever you may be. Please don't fret about my Mo-ther Dear. She'll be fine and back to her perky little self as soon as I draw her a hot bath and pour her a little Tylenol cocktail.

Happy Memorial Day!

With love from your pal,
Stewey


12 comments:

  1. Oh, Stewey, you never fail to amuse me in your posts. Programming the remote? My favorite part. Your pic is wonderful! And the living room, fabulously awesome!!! Love the shelves way up, the bookshelves, the fireplace, all of it!

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  2. Great picture of you, Stewey. And don't worry. Your Mo-ther isn't about to move. She truly would end up wrapped up like a mummy and locked away. There's just way too much stuff to pack up and move. Tell Mo-ther I'm sending rain for her plants. We've had too much here in NE Iowa.

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  3. Stewey, you never know, you might make friends with your new neighbours! Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I hope you get some BBQ weather.

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  4. Have a great weekend Stewey, but be sure to take a moment to remember our service personnel who give so much so that we can have our freedom! (off my soapbox now)

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  5. Stewey, what a great picture!! You are one handsome fellow and I know you helped so much planting that garden. Make sure you put the flag out for the holiday, stay safe, happy stitching and enjoy!!

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  6. Oh Stewey, how I love your cute little self...what a fabby picture Mo-ther took of her faithful little companion!

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  7. Stewey, I swear, if you don`t stop peeing on everything in sight i`m going to send your mo-ther the plastic panties I had for my Min Pin when she was in heat! A small 'Depends' pad will fit in them perfectly. And you know they would ruin the line of your smoking jacket!!

    (((hugs))) to mo-ther

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  8. I KNOW those big dogs won't intimidate you, Stewey. You'll outsmart 'em!!! Be patient with Mo-ther. It's a holiday. :D hugs, Cathryn PS LOVE your pic.

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  9. lol this is too funny! I also started too many little poppy seeds in each planter....we shall see what kind of learning experience I wind up with!

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  10. I just love to read your posts Stewey. You are the cutest ever and remind me so much of my Sadie. She is a handful. =)

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  11. Dear Stewey: I feel it is my duty to address your somewhat lack of fashion sense. I realize canines must uphold certain sartorial standards. however, if you check with any GQ magazine you will see smoking jackets are never worn before 5 pm. I prefer a nifty neck scarf for daytime wear and soft slippers with a dandy stripped bathrobe for evenings, unless there is company present.
    Should you need further fashion information, please do not hesitate. I remain Toby Howe Warren, currently residing in Georgia.

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  12. Stewey, I don't know what I enjoy more your witty monologues or your Mo-ther's stitching. But all of Mo-ther's beautiful work is making me want to do some counted work. Thanks so much Stewey for the entertainment and Spinster for the inspiration.-K.B.

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