Aug 17, 2010

WHY I'M A TOTAL PUTZOLA AND WHY MY DOG SHOULD HATE MY FREAKIN' GUTS

I am hanging my head in shame today and feeling like the absolute worst person on the whole entire planet.

My little dog is injured and it's all my fault.

After telling the world that he was a little "ripe", I harnessed him up for the short ride over to the v-e-t for his pedicure and waited for Aunt Chrissy to pick us up. He was fine, but absolutely miffed that I had to tart him all up in that red contraption.

(When we take the boys in the car with us, we put them in their little harnesses and then clip them into their car seats for safety. We prefer to clip them via harnesses so that there is no danger of hurting their little tiny necks by clipping them into their seats via their collars.)

But I regress.

When Miss Nekka came out for the first victim, I happily handed Stewey over to her and took a seat in the waiting area. I knew that he wasn't too happy about it, since I caught sight of him pulling and tugging away from her as if she were going to do something awful to him.

And, rather than say "Oh, dear, Miss Nekka. Why don't I pick the little fellow up and carry him along to the exam room and then hold him tenderly while you clip his tiny little toenials?", I shook my head and muttered something about the damn dog being a big fat sissypants and that he had better just suck it up and be done with it or I was going to leave him there permanently.

When it was all over, Nekka said that he did very well and that she didn't have to muzzle him or anything, but she did say he kind of went into a tizzy fit at the end and became very snappy.

I, of course, didn't think anything of this, since my dog is usually snappy when it comes to anybody other than Aunt Chrissy or me getting all up in his grill.

But there I go....regressing again.

Long story short (I know, I know....too late for that)....I think that Stewey really hurt his little self during his freak out. When we got home he went directly to his fort and then spent the entire evening crying himself to sleep in his little bed. When I went to cuddle him, he winced and screeched and got big fat tears in his eyes and I wanted to go drag a butter knife across my throat for being such a putz.

Aunt Chrissy thinks that he might have bruised his little underside when he tugged on the harness, and I'm sure that whatever it is will be better after some rest and a few baby aspirins, but I still could just die from the shame of my neglect.

Can I just say that I am the most awful, sucky, dreadful, nasty, incompetent, lousy, stinkin Mommie on the planet? All I do is bitch and moan and complain about this little dog peeing on my drapes, and all I should be doing is telling him every single minute of every single day how much I love him.

I'll keep you posted on his progress. For now, I'm going to go soak my head and make him something special for dinner.

I wonder if I'll be able to fit under the bed to deliver it to his little fort?

19 comments:

  1. Coni, are you sure it isn't his toenails that are hurting? I once had a vet tech nick a cuticle on one of my cats and he walked around pulling his foot up and wouldn't go in the litter box. I hope poor Stewey is feeling better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. First off,about that Mommy-guilt thing - after umpteen years of the doggie-mommy guilt and even more umpteen years of mommy-guilt about how I'm raising my non-furry son ( well, he's mostly not furry!), sometimes, unfortunately, these "days" just sometime happen. (I once had to sit in an emergency room and explain to a Dr. that my precious 3-yr.old needed stitches on three of his knuckles because (out of my sight for a second, he had wanted to see if "safety" scissors (for pre-schoolers) really were "safe". (They AREN'T by the way! - they may be "safe" for cutting paper - not so 'safe" for cutting skin - go figure.)
    I've also had to hold a sick pup after I let her roll in the grass and she got stung by a bee and had an allergic reaction. I felt awful - for letting her do something that I thought would be fun for her). The vet just kept shaking her head and muttering (as she handed me tissue after tissue and tried to assess the situation through my tears.
    This mommy business is tough work, whether it's the furry or non-furry kind...once you sign up, I think we all should be entitled to free margarhita's for life or therapy...some of us...probably both!!!
    If you get the chance, give poor Stewey's toenail pads a look-see. My dog's cuticles actually got nicked once by a "professional". (I'm way too chicken to try to trim EITHER of my baby's nails- (fury or non-fury)at home - by-myself.)
    In the meantime, wrap Stewey in his smoking jacket, hand him some nice brandy and tell him that all his bloggy friends are pulling for him! (and hugs for his Mama too!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with Laura. I could be his toenails. Sammi had one of hers cut alittle to closely and it hurt like heck. Had to go to the vet for some stuff to put on it. Hope stewey feels better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes, it could definitely be the toenails, especially since the vet tech said he got snippy at the end. Maybe it was the last one she did? Poor Stewey. But don't beat yourself up too much. What's done is done. And the important thing is that you are taking care of him now. I agree with the smoking jacket and brandy. I am sure that will make whatever is ailing him go away quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awww. But it has happened to all of us. You WERE taking care of him...getting his little pedicure. An extra treat or two would not hurt. I feel worse for you because I know how you feel.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perhaps if Stewie could see you pretend to gas yourself in the oven, he wouldn't know for sure if it is gas or electric, he would realize how genuinely sorry you are and do little pee of forgiveness somewhere. Its worth a shot.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just as I got ready to type my little kitten fell out of the window. Scared me to death, but she must be OK. She just flew out of the room but not before I got the dirty look. After all, I PUSHED HER off that window sill. Attitude at 2 months. For the love of God! Anyway, Stewey will be just fine. But he is not going to let you know that until at least Thursday. So you may as well go buy a few cigars and a steak right now. Give him a big hug from Jersey. And while you are doing it, tell him he is lucky to have you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Are you sure his little leg isn't broken? or twisted? This happened to my Granny's dog. Take Stewey back and see a vet. The vet tech has to hold Stewey's little leg and what if he thru a fit and she didn't let go? I use to be a dog groomer and had to cut nails, dogs hate it. Hopefully it's nothing too serious!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poor Stewey!. I agree it might be his toenails. You shouldn't feel too badly, it wasn't you that hurt him. However, I know that feeling, both with furry and non furry loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Coni - things happen. The mommy guilt you are feeling is normal. But, don't kick yourself in the head about it. I agree with the others - if he doesn't show improvement - take him to see the vet and make sure he's ok.

    But let your guilt go - we know he's the man of your life!

    Smiles - Denise

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have read all the kind animal-loving comments before me and all I can think of is....HE PEES ON YOUR DRAPES???????

    Don't get me wrong...I love animals, when they're at someone else's house!
    I truly hope your little one feels better soon. Even though I choose not to have a pet of my own I do understand how they worm their way in to your heart and become "human" to you.
    Keep us posted!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm sure Stewey will forgive & forget - that's the great thing about dogs. You yell at them and 2 minutes later they are wagging their tails and your best bud again. Hoping he feels better soon - maybe just a bruise where he pulled on his harness. I think some extra time in Mommy's lap in the happy chair will help :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Don't be so hard on yourself. Afterall, it was Stewey who got himself into a tizzy fit. Anyway, just love him and make sure it's not any of his toes that's bothering him. If that is the case, take him to the vet to have it checked out.

    Here's to hoping Stewey has a speedy recovery and is up to his old tricks in no time...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Do check all his toes because maybe they nipped the 'quick'. That would make his toe very tender. God Speed Stewie! <3

    ReplyDelete
  15. Soooo sorry... Stewey, not Stewie.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poor little Stewey. Hopefully he will mend quickly (and not keep pretending just to make you feel worse than you already do).

    Keep us posted!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh you evil, evil mummy lol. Me thinks he needs his own little drapes around his fort for some privacy in his hour of need.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well, I certainly hope Stewey feels better soon. As for the guilt thing, just go back in your blog archives and read all the things he's written about you - it will cure the guilt. Nips of toe nails and tushie bruises happen - all will be well. And for goodness sakes, keep him away from the drapes!

    ReplyDelete
  19. When you said the technician told you that he freaked out toward the end, it sounds as though she may have cut a toenail(s) too short. This is very very painful for them, and often dogs will go hide or sulk after an event like this. Please give Stevie my wishes for his speedy recovery!

    ReplyDelete