Apr 28, 2010

WHY I'M HIDING THE REMOTE CONTROL BY MASTER STEWEY ANGUS WILLOWSWAMP, HIS VERY LITTLE SELF

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's in bed sleeping off a stitchy hangover of epic proportions.

It all started after my Aunt Chrissy went home for the evening. Apparently, the two of them decided to go to Five Guys for burgers, because when they got home, I heard Mom muttering something to Aunt Chrissy about how they should call them Crack Burgers because they're so addictive. (This, of course, was said through a mouth-full of fries, which resulted in a malt vinegar and ketchup stain on her sweatshirt will be the bain of my laundry existence today.)

Just as I was about to snuggle in on my perch for a little light reading (I'm a little behind on my New Yorker issues), mo-ther started pacing about the house looking for something to do. So I got off of my perch, sighed heavily, and planted her in the Happy Chair with her stitchy project and a dietCoke for company.

Not three minutes went by before Mom had the remote control pointed in the general direction of the TeeVee armoire (I swear, she doesn't realize that you actually have to aim properly when you use the damn thing), and the OnDemand menu came up before I knew what hit me.

Yup. You guessed it. Tudors.

You do realize that she's already seen every single episode at least four times, right? And you also realize that I've caught her on the puter no less than ten times looking at amazon.com for the availability of the box sets...so much so that I've now activated a parental lock on the account so that it will take her the rest of her life to figure out why she can't shop in her underpants anymore.

Anywhoose...the hangover is a result of her re-watching the first six episodes while maniacally stitching away on her project. I think she managed to finish all of the lettering and now has only a few moteefs to go, but I'm concerned that instead of the lovely verse about Springtime, we'll end up with the words boinking, Henry, and your grace. (Not necessarily in that order, by the way.)

I understand that 2011 will bring us The Borgias, so I'm preparing myself now. But I have to tell you....if she re-decorates this house one more time to mimic the set decorations on these soap operas, I'm going to have to call somebody.

After all...I can only pee on so many drapes at a time.

Happy Wednesday to you all. If the old lady ever stops snoring and comes to her senses, I'll have her take some pics of her progress on Love the Spring. It's really quite pretty, actually, and I can hardly wait to see it in finished pillow form as a perfect little accessory to my boudoir.

With love from your pal,
Stewey

8 comments:

  1. Stewey,
    I really want to watch the Tudors too, however my cheap husband does not get the ON DEMAND that I want so we have the cheapest ON DEMAND and the darn Tudors aren't on there :(
    But there IS hope, in June we have to choose a new ON DEMAND package and I'm choosing - come hell or high water :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww Stewey, you really could learn a little something of history by watching The Tudors, at least I think you can. lol...don't be too harsh on your mo-ther. Afterall, things could be worse.

    As to the redecorating according to the show sets, yea that may be a bit much. But as long as she's happy, that's all that really matters, right?!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Stewey, I have to pull your ears here. If Coni gets her Tudors (or should I just say Henry?) you certainly get a peace and quiet night all for yourself. So please let her be - she might take your drapes away for good!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey Stewey! Good to hear from you, even if you are kind of crabby about your mother. I think I'll have to join her in my quest to watch the Tudors. Thanks for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I started watching the Tudors online at Netflix and have only seen a few episodes! I guess I need to get busy....must be missing some great stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm glad to know someone else who will stay up all night stitching while watching tv! Mornings are highly overrated!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah, Stewey you darling little poochy you... do you not know that your mo-ther is feeding her brain when watching Henry... er... the Tudors? Can't wait to see what came out of the stitchy seat!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stewey, Lily here, I've gotten control fo the computer for a moment-my mom has a flail leg and can't get to it to stop me!!! But, what are you thinking-redecorating in the Tudor style equals drapes-lots and lots of drapes, and they puddled them on the floor-so you don't have to lift a little leg so high to hit your target-come on-ENCOURAGE!! Hugs, Lily

    ReplyDelete