Jan 5, 2010

STEWEY'S PREROGATIVE

OK, can I just begin by pointing out that it took me a full fifteen minutes to figure out how to spell "prerogative"? All this time I thought it was PER-ogative. Silly silly me. And, may I also point out how it took me the full fifteen minutes to sit here and wonder just how the hell I was going to figure out how to spell prerogative, since you actually have to know how to spell a word in order to look it up in the dictionary?

(This would be about the time that you are sitting in your chair madly waving your arms and pointing to the "SPELL CHECK" button on the blogger thingie, right?)

(What can I say? I'm a slow learner.)

One of the things I love about my little dog is the fact that he never passes judgement on me when I decide to eat a salami sandwich at 11:30 at night.

The thing I DON'T like, however, is how he insists on starting the day with a printed transcript of everything I've done the day before so that he can check for inconsistencies. Take this morning, for example:

Stewey: Mo-ther, yesterday you said that you were going to work on the BRD "It's Cold Outside" until you completed the stitching on the smalls portion of the project.

Mommie Dearest: Yeah? So what? Grmph. Mumble mumble mumble. (She struggles in vain to open a new container of Prairie Farms Half and Half).

Stewey: Well, may I point out to you that you did NOT stitch on said project, but rather, you fished about in your stitchy basket for the better portion of the evening until you finally settled on Aunt Laura J. Perin's "Lily of the Valley Collage"?

Mommie: Why the bloody hell do they have to make these things so hard to open? Don't they know that a person needs cream in the morning? What kind of sick and twisted freak of nature designed these damn....

Stewey (tapping his paw impatiently while peering over his reading glasses): Mo-ther. Pay attention to me, please. If you're going to have ANY level of integrity going into the New Year, you need to be more careful that you actually do what you've said you're going to do. You simply cannot decided to change things to suit you whenever the going gets tough or the task at hand doesn't suit you. You simply MUST persevere.

Mommie (looking blankly at the little dog while wondering if she's had some type of neurological "situation" that would result in her listening to a talking dog who insists on wearing reading glasses so that he can peer over them with a look of disdain carefully etched on his little face): Stewey, first of all, I was very clear that I was going to just enjoy my stitching this year and NOT get all wrapped up in my head about deadlines or "shouldas" or obligations. I told the world (well, at least the seven people who read my blog) that I'm going to stitch WHAT I want, WHEN I want. So you can just march yourself right back to whatever little perfectly designed hell you came from and...leave (grunt)....me (face reddening as she pulls furiously at the cap)...alone!

(The entire top portion of the carton EXPLODES into a shower of half and half as the little dog scurries away and the Mommie is left standing in the middle of the kitchen with droplets of cream in her hair. She glances up to the ceiling, calculates the best position, and places her cup under a particularly large rivulet of cream cascading down upon her. She waits patiently for the perfect amount to descend, takes an appreciative sip, and gets on with her day.)

Apparently, Stewey has decided that I need to be more careful about what I reveal on this here blog. He feels that I owe it to y'all to be carefully organized, meticulously adherent to a system, and mindful of my tendency to blather on and on without concern for the consequences. And, he apparently feels that it is his prerogative to have these little review sessions each and every morning, even if I haven't yet had my first sip of life-giving sustenance (otherwise knows as Starbucks French Roast with Truvia and half and half.)

Damn dog.

Last night I picked up Laura J. Perin's "Lily of the Valley Collage" and stitched away while watching "The West Wing". (Aunt Chrissy and I started the series again on Christmas, so now I'm back into full-on addiction mode and have just started Season Three.) (Aunt Chrissy, if you're reading this, don't fret. I marked where we left off and will happily go back so that you can catch up to where I ended up after a little mini-marathon that kept me up until 5am.)

Anywhoose....it seems that canvas was just what I needed to have in my grubby little paws, because every single stitch of this piece has been a joy to do! I had completed all of the borders previously, so now we're all about the interiors of each of the boxes. Fun fun fun!

Note to Stewey: Mommie's going to think out loud, Little, so get over it honeybuns! (Yup. I call him "Little". How cute is THAT?!).

I am thinking that I'd like to try my hand at ribbon embroidery for the center of this piece. As you might remember, I stuck an actual silk flower in the center of "Daisy Collage" and I still really love that, but wouldn't it be cool to do a lovely flower in River Silks? I'm assuming that they have books that would teach you how to make the individual flowers, so maybe I'll look into that today. The good news is that I can always rely on the actual chart for guidance on this, since Ms. Laura J. Perin Her Very Self knows a LOT about flowers and always charts them perfectly.

(This concludes the brown-nosing portion of our program).

So here's my progress after last evening's stitching:
Gotta go. Looks like Stewey's legal team needs me to sign off on our TO DO list for the day.

Next time, I swear I'm going to get a goldfish.

20 comments:

  1. Methinks there are more than seven of us to hold you up to a certain standard! For my part you are completely absolved of doing what you say.... just keep doing what you do. It looks gorgeous so far, and the idea of a ribbon flower is an amazing one. I wish you luck with that and will keep my eyes peeled for the results.

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  2. I love your piece so far. I know that you're definitely going to get me one day and I'll throw xstitch to the wind and start needlepointing. And I had to laugh about looking in the dictionary to find the spelling of a word. My kids point out that you can't find the word in the dictionary if you can't spell it (actually they're too lazy to get off their butts, get the dictionary and try to find it). Anyeay, it's a good point I guess, but I'm still trying to figure out how I managed to do it before computers came around.

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  3. I can't find the spell check button on my blog so you know more than I do!!!

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  4. there are definitely more then 7 people that read your blog....especially people like me....stalkers who never comment! I just want you to know that your blog is the first one I look at ever afternoon! you and stewey make me laugh so much ....and if you knew how depressed of a person I am... that is saying A LOT!!!
    I love your blog ..your work.. and you and your doggie!
    Thank you!

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  5. Tell Master Stewey, his very self, that it is a wonman's prerogative to change her mind. And as many times as she wants. SO THERE!

    LOL

    Beautiful stitching by the way.

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  6. Thank goodness you're doing your own thing, because that LJP is gonna be so pretty.

    Hope you got all cleaned up after your half and half incident. EW.

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  7. I agree with Alice...I think there's a few more than seven! Being addicted to my morning hot chocolate I have the same "little accident" every time I open a new container of heavy cream. There are ways of checking your spelling if you don't have a "spell check" button, I only know there is, not how to do it! (someone just told me you can highlight the word and right click, choosing "check spelling, but I don't have that program right now). I LOVE reading your (and Stewey's) blog. I've been crocheting a lot lately but you've inspired me to get back to stitching!

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  8. See, I'm the 8th comment so that just shows what Mr S. knows! Lighten up, Stewey, and give Mum a break (at least until after she's worked out how to open the half and half, at least). Coni, maybe some forward planning is needed and you open the container the night before?

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  9. Hi Coni and Stewey,
    I think you should feel privileged to have Stewey to keep you on the straight and narrow! No telling what would happen if he slacked off of you!
    Happy stitching!
    Amy for OK

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  10. Hi Coni and Stewey...
    I absolutely love reading your blog. Thanks so much for all the entertainment both of you provide :) Your stitching is wonderful.

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  11. Am I the only one who noticed the Rolaids Softchews in that photo? Guess you weren't kidding about the salami sandwich....LOL!

    Love the new start and I think the ribbon flower/flowers is a great idea.

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  12. I use dictionary.com when I can't figure out how to spell something. It's pretty good at guessing and it gives me the definition, so I'm sure it is the word I'm looking for.

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  13. I loved working on the Lily of the Valley piece. I can't wait to see your finished project.

    As for the goldfish... well, they don't last very long and aren't much for conversation. If you can deal with a cynical and condescending attitude, I would get a cat. Or three. I am currently owned by two. They don't say much, ignore me on a regular basis and pretty much let me do whatever I want as long as the food bowl is full and the litter box is clean. My pair do not pee on drapes but they have shred a chair or twelve in their day. It only took me five years to realize that if I cover everything in afghans they'll leave the furniture alone.

    Gods forfend they ever use the scratching pads and trees I provide them.

    Try Dunkin' Donuts, regular, without "sugar" or cream, for a better start to the day. Your cream mishap would have resulted in my trying to kick cats. I always miss and end up on the floor. That always makes them laugh. They love it when I loose my temper.

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  14. Dear Stewey (I can't remember how to spell your name......my paws don't do well on the keyboard) I enjoyed reading your post and thought maybe we could be Pet Pals. I am a 6 year old Maltese who runs my mom"s household....OOPS, I mean my household. I will have my 10 year old sister email you a picture of me since I usually try to help my mom and she has no clue how to email a picture of me. It is quite now, just took my brother (12) and sister (10) to school and I can take a nice nap in my sheepskin blanket. If your mom hasn't gotten one for you, you might think about reporting her to the animal patrol!!! The sheepskins are so toasty warm and cuddley. And with your short hair I think you would love it. Well, mom is out of the shower and will need her computer soon and I don't want her to know that I was on the computer....Hugs to you,
    Mini -- Beaverton, Oregon
    1koala@comcast.net

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  15. Once again you have managed to bring a smile to my face by sharing the wonderful moments in your life! Here's to doing what ever, when ever - and may you always have cream for your coffee!

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  16. I just discovered your amazingly funny and well written blog. As a fellow stitch addict who has at least enough unfinished projects to last 3 lifetimes you really hit a familiar chord. I also share your love of furry friends - mine is a 14 week old black kitten named Elvira who I suspect would lead Stewie on a merry chase. I can't wait for the next installment of your story!!!

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  17. Oh - now I feel proud! On New Year's Day I just took out the Lily of the Valley collage to gather the rest of the stuff and get onto stretcher bars. Why am I proud? Because CONI is stitching it!!!
    Now, I did needlpoint 112 years ago, no needlework for a long time and now counted thread for the last few years, so - I'm a bit intimidated but very excited!
    Thanks for your wonderful blog _ I experience true withdrawal when you don't write and now you've brought me back to needlepoint

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  18. Stewey needs to eat your to-do list!! LOL

    Have a great day : )

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  19. Coni: I really, really want to know if you write comedy routines for anyone famous?. Well, more famous than little Stewey himself. Your stuff is so funny (changed from hilarious which is too hard to spell). It has helped me more than once in a really depressed state. Please answer this question on the blog. I will be looking for the outcome!

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  20. Coni,
    I just wanted to say,
    "I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog!!!!!"
    Barb in Syracuse

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