Sep 14, 2009

MR. DERSHOWITZ, PAGING MR. DERSHOWITZ

My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's at the dry cleaners, picking up my fall clothing. I asked her to get my things ready for me over a month ago (I like to be prepared, don't you know), but as usual, she procrastinated until the last minute. So here we are on September 14th already, and I don't have one single sweater ready to go. Sheesh.

Now before you defend my mo-ther, please understand that I've had to put my little paw down on this whole situation. I feel that if the old lady is going to parade me about the neighborhood like some kind of trained monkey, then I should be able to look good doing it, n'est pai? And since it took me almost three whole years to get her to stop buying my clothes in the Target baby aisle, I feel justified in caring for my things as a proper gentleman should. (I've asked Santa Claus for a valet of my very own this year, so we'll see how that goes. I would prefer someone in the order of Sir Anthony Hopkin's character in "Remains of the Day", but I'll settle for any help I can get.)

Here's what she worked on yesterday:
This is a canvas that she bought all the way back in 2005 or 2006. She has futzed around with this darn thing for months and months each year since then, but has never been able to figure out what to do with it. Last February, she got the brilliant idea to pad the center hearts (which she did), and then POOF! on Sunday some inspiration came to her.

The lower right heart is stitched with Watercolors and two different colors of Splendor in a Burden stitch. This was pretty easy to do, but it took the entire screening of "A Few Good Men" for Mom to knock this out.

The upper left heart is combo stitch...Milanese with Giant Scotch. This one she's doing in Watercolors and DMC #5 perle cotton.

I suspect that she would have finished the heart on the left if she would have stopped pausing the DVR-thingie to watch the volleyball scene from "Top Gun" over and over and over again. I swear, I thought she was going to break the remote control. (And her lusty commentary on the whole thing was rather inappropriate for me to hear, I might add.)

Anywhoose, here are a few close ups of the stitches. First the Burden stitch:


And now for the Milanese with Giant Scotch:

I guess that will have to suffice for the report from Chez Spinster today. I've been barred from further detail by my mo-ther's legal team of late, so that would account for my sporadic blog posting. Sorry about that folks, but I'm afraid that she'll attach my assets if I do too much tattle telling. Don't worry, though, I've contacted several brilliant legal brains of my own, and I hope to be unfettered real soon.

In the meantime, please continue to read her drivel and make her feel welcome. It takes a tremendous burden off of my shoulders not to have to reassure her every ten minutes. I've got napping and peeing to do, after all, so I can't be bothered with her insecurities and needs 24/7.

Have a splendid day!

With love from your pal,
Stewey

15 comments:

  1. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THESE HEARTS OF YOURS, CONI!!! Great job with your very own stitch-guiding!
    (And hey, those photos of yours are top-notch, too!) All in all, a great project...keep up the terrific work. LAURA (I'm hoping this will be in your FINISHED PILE come Nov. 1st, eh?)

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  2. I LOVE your reports Stewey - keep up the good work!

    As for the stitching mom has done, those padded hearts are fabulous and I love the stitches you have chosen so far for the other hearts. YOU keep up the good work too!

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  3. Burden stitch--too lovely for such an ugly name. Looks great!

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  4. I love the colours! Padding those hearts is an inspiration. Looks fantastic.

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  5. The padded hearts are wonderful -- such beautiful colors and stitches.
    Stewey, you and your mom are the most delightful pair -- keep up the good work.

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  6. Well, all I can say is that this is beautiful! I can't say anything more - I'm tongue tied!! Gorgeous!

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  7. Stewey would your mo-ther be willing to share her technique for padding those hearts? my top long stitch threads separate and "slide open" - i was told to try using velvet or some non-slip fiber for the padding or use a round coets pad cut to size to pad but i wondered what was done here. they look so good

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  8. Stewey, I hope mo-ther has not given up on "Wandering" already. She is doing a lovely job of it and I especially like her idea of couching afterwards to give the curves more of a rounded feeling. The hearts are wonderful though, especially the Burden stitch.

    And Stewey, you had better treat mom with kid gloves. We {ahem} well-aged women can get mean when dealing with lawyers and such and she might just leave her vast quantities to Bosco and his mom. I know that I'm threatening that with my male-child cat who continues to "mark" his side of mom's sofa.

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  9. An absolutely beautiful piece of stitching, it's gorgeous!!!

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  10. Coni ...Love the Stitching on the hearts !!
    Stewey.... You keep up the great job of blogging!!!

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  11. Stewey -- chill! Mom's doing just great, and I know she takes very good care of you.
    Coni...the hearts are beautiful!

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  12. Oh, Stewey, you dog! You're such a naughty little guy when your mom is away.

    Coni, the hearts are too cool for words. Can't wait to see that one finished.

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  13. The hearts are great. Your ideas for backgrounds behind the padded hearts are working very well. Did you do the burden stitch before or after doing the padded hearts? Thanks

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  14. That is beautiful work that your mother does Stewey and sometimes it takes time and inspiration from other sources. I can understand why she forgot to get your wardrobe sorted while she was engrossed in her movies and stitching. Enjoy your fall clothes when they are back from the cleaners.

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