Aug 11, 2009

THIS IS WHAT SIX DIET COKES WILL GET 'CHA

I'm fascinated by the speed with which y'all stitch. I myself am a very sloooooow stitcher, but then again, I do have the attention span of a humming bird. I'm not a slow stitcher because I'm methodical or neat and tidy....I'm just slow for the sake of slowness itself.

I sat down at approximately 3pm yesterday afternoon and after the full-length version of Casino, four episodes of Chopped, two viewings of the Sex and the City Movie, and countless other TeeVee drivel, I managed to get the inside design of "Garden Girl" completed. Now I'm on to the border and this one gets to go into the FUPPY box.

(Chopped, by the way, is the Food Network show that challenges chefs to open a basket containing obscure combinations of food to come up with a suitable appetizer, entree, and then dessert. And yes, I yell at the contestants that they're hacks, and I could certainly come up with an entree made of trout, turnip greens, Parma ham, and marshmallow cream or a dessert made with blueberries, red wine vinegar, caramel, and brussel sprouts.)

But I regress....

During my daily blog reading (which probably accounts for my lack of progress on actual stitching), I glue myself to the screen to see the latest updates on all of your projects. And the worst part of it all is that I actually get all a'flutter when I see that you're nearing the end of a piece! I wait with breath that is bated for the eventual happy dance and all of the joy that comes with it. Then, when the final pic is posted, I scream "WOO HOO" loud enough to make the dog pee on the drapes.

Sadly, after I run to the studio to fish through my stash for the project you've just completed, it doesn't jump onto the q-snaps and stitch itself spontaneously, so I must be doing something wrong. I try and try to tell myself that "it's the journey and not the destination", but I get all Violet Beauregard about it and find myself stomping feet and saying "I want it NOW". Then I spend hours and hours calculating the exact number of minutes it will take to get all of my current WIP's finished BEFORE I start the new thing that you've just completed, and the resulting figures depress me for a week and a half.

I really need to get a new hobby.

****Edited to add after reading the comment/question from Amy****

Hi, Amy!

Thanks so much for stopping by my silly blog and for leaving a comment! I believe that you had a quiestion about my eyesight....I am RIDICULOUSLY near-sighted, which means that when I take my contacts out (or my glasses off) I can see about two inches in front of my face. Usually, I put my contacts into my head first thing in the morning and I'm able to see the entire world in all it's technicolor wonderfulness without a problem. And for some wierd reason, I am also able to see realtively well close-up, even though my eye doctor tells me that this is sure to go away soon.

For stiching, I wear my contacts and then I perch a pair of 99cent magnifiers on my face. (I use the +1.50 magnification.) This allows me to see the TeeVee, as well as stitch on everything from mono canvas to 36-count linen pretty well.

All of this would be really simple if it were not for the fact that I just bought myself a new pair of glasses which cost more than my first car (or so it seemed). This traditional gal walked right into the fancypants eyeglasses boutique and asked for something that would be a little different than the eight year old plastic frames I had been clutching to my chest as though they contained the key to everlasting peace in the Middle East. So I am now sporting one-of-a-kind European custom funky frames that supposedly look simply fabulous. Alas, I cannot stitch with them for some reason, since the close-up distance is not as good as it is when I wear contacts. Heavy heavy sigh.

So on days that I have to put on somthing other than eighteen year old sweatpants and leave the house, I wear my fancypants glasses during the day (Who am I kidding? It's solely to impress people, and I know it) and then I put my contacts and magnifiers in place for all of my evening stitchy goodness.

I blame it all on Aunt Chrissy, who bought frames that were five times more expensive than mine and needed somebody else to fall down the rabbit hole with her.

Gee, arent' you glad you asked?! :-)

Woo Hoo!
Coni

17 comments:

  1. Don't you dare get a new hobby, Coni! I think your current one suits you just perfectly, though I do understand--oh, how VERY well I understand--feeling down when seeing all those lovely finishes on other stitchers' blogs. As I admire their finishes, I, too, realize that I can never possibly begin to stitch all of the lovely projects I want to, but it won't stop me from trying!!

    Perhaps you could teach Stewey to stitch, then he could finish all the projects you abandon while you embrace the neverending list of new starts.

    Just a thought.

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  2. Love Chopped! I love to watch the chef's faces when they pull out the one "gotcha" ingredient in every round... LOL

    You can't get a new hobby. I'm so enjoying this one :)

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  3. No, you don't need a new hobby. I think you're like the majority of us - stitching along happily and then some one's blog will throw you out of kilter because you want it NOW!!! Start all the ones you want now - they'll get done eventually!!!

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  4. If I could add all the time I spend reading great blogs I would be able to complete a finish a day. Wishfull thinking.

    I am also a very slow stitcher, maybe we should start are our club for people just like us :)

    Take Care

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  5. Hi Coni,

    No new hobby for you! Then I'd have to take up that hobby to follow you & Stewey!

    I am a fast stitcher, and I still am frustrated at my lack of progress. I am so annoyed by the necessity of having to come to work--WHY must I pay the mortgage & taxes??--it so interrupts my sttiching!

    Denise

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  6. You are so funny! I can only imagine if you changed hobbies, we would all have to change too! Of course, what ever you changed to and we changed to, it would make our LNS (or whatever the hobby maybe) very wealthy! Don't do that to us!

    One question, do you stitch on linen with a magnifying glass or can you see without any help? I am 55 and have to have a huge magnifier.

    amyfrazier @ hotmail.com

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  7. It's looking fantastic. And I am so wishing I could have had a day or an evening like yours, just watching all those fun things and stitching!!!

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  8. Keep the hobby you love it and do wonderful things with it, but 6 diet cokes would send me to the potty all night! Which would further confuse the dog who thinks she must get up with me and sit there for a petting!

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  9. Maybe that is what I need to start doing! It's one of those "Aha Moments". Drink 6 diet cokes - or 6 non-diet for that matter. I bet that would rev me up a bit. Maybe I could work faster, do more. Who needs insomnia. I could just drink cokes and stitch forever!!

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  10. I can't imagine how you can think you are a slow stitcher when it seems like you are finishing something every other day...slow stitching is when you finish something every other year...I, my darling, am a sloooooooow stitcher!!!!!

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  11. No you can't get a new hobby! You have so much stitching left to do! Every stitcher I've ever met wants to stitch more than they can. I don't think you are slow at all... you always have progress to show us and seem to have a lot of finishes too. I don't even take pictures because it would depress me to see how little progress takes place. I just show my husband every 30 or so hours of stitching and he tells me 'its coming along'. Just embrace that feeling of despair when you calculate how many hours of stitching you would need to finish your WIPs. That feeling could be what motivates you!

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  12. Coni, you & Stew make my day!! LOL!
    Such a witty pair!

    We feel your pain; I have accepted that I will probably NEVER finish all the pieces that I want, let alone just the ones I have actually purchased. But, it does give me a reason to get out of bed everyday and try my darndest (is that even a word?)!! Oh well, on with the "Battle of the Bulging WIP Basket" ...

    Good Luck with yours...and keep us posted!

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  13. Thank you, Coni, for answering my question! Keep the blog coming! Love it!

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  14. Oh, my gosh! Coni, you and I were blessed with the same eyesight. Since I'm much older than you are, I'm up to 2.75 magnifiers to help me see. The bonus is that if I take off my contacts, I can see perfectly enough to do 40-count over one! Once in a while it comes in handy.

    I sure wish we could finish every single WIP today. Damn, it's tough to be human!

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  15. I was trying to picture myself on 6 Mt Dews and decided it wasn't pretty. I'm guilty of losing myself on blogs, answering emails and posting on boards when I should be totally model stitching. It's not easy being us. LOL But you know, being a slow stitcher has it's adventures too and we'll get the finish done when it's done. Of course I have Market to stress over but it'll happen. I do well under last minute stress. ACK! I love checking on you and Stewey, don't you dare change your hobby. You almost have me back into canvas!

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  16. Hi, This is my first visit to your blog. You have really made me chuckle, see you soon!

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  17. oh Coni - I do love me some of your funny blog writing........

    thanks for the chuckle and I really like your finish - it's purdy!

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