Jun 22, 2009

SPITTIN' NAILS

WARNING: This is a rant. If you don't want to read a rant from an angry spinster, then please look away. Regularly scheduled programming will resume momentarily.

I'm as peeved as a spinster can be at the moment. Like the rest of the free world, I somehow got sucked into the whole "John and Kate Plus Eight" mess. Now for those of you who haven't a clue as to what I'm talking about....J&K+8 is a show on the TLC channel about a family that has twin daughters and sextuplets. Tonight they announced to the world that they are divorcing after ten years of marriage, five years of a television series, and six months of tabloid reporting of their torrid affairs with anybody that has crossed their respective paths.

Let me first get a few things clear so that you don't think I speak from a position of authority:

1. I have never been married, so I have no idea of the daily pressures and stresses of sharing your life with another person and/or tripping over his/her socks every other minute.

2. I do not have children, so I do not understand the tremendous responsibility of being in charge of raising someone into a normal, healthy, grown-ass person who manages to stay out of trouble generally. You've met Stewey, so you know how successful I would be in the parenting department.

3. I have never had a reality TeeVee show, even though Stewey is convinced we could make millions and keep him the manner to which he has become accustomed.

4. I have never been followed by paparazzi, unless you count the early morning attempts by my neighbors to gather photographic evidence of me in my robe and duck books retrieving the mail (for the home owner's association board, don't you know).

5. And finally...with few exceptions, I rarely watch reality TeeVee unless it involves somebody hunky doing something that I'm interesting in, like cooking a five-course meal on a deserted island. Without a shirt on.

Having said all of that, please allow me to say with full-throated voice and fist shaking in air: SHAME ON YOU, TLC! SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR STUPID PRODUCERS WHO DID NOT HAVE THE DECENCY AND GUTS TO SAY "YOU KNOW WHAT? OUR FRIENDS JOHN AND KATE ARE IN TROUBLE AND WE THINK IT'S UNSEEMLY TO WATCH A MARRIAGE COLLAPSE ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. SO WE'RE GOING TO SUSPEND PRODUCTION OF THE SHOW AND LET THIS FAMILY GET SOME HELP AND GET OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT FOR A LITTLE WHILE SO THAT THEY CAN SEE IF THEY CAN PULL THIS BACK TOGETHER."

SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU, JOHN AND KATE FOR NOT HAVING THE GUTS OR DECENCY TO SAY "SORRY, FOLKS. WE'RE HAVING A REAL ROUGH SPOT AT THE MOMENT AND WE FEEL THAT THE HEALTH AND WELL-BEING OF OUR FAMILY IS WORTH MORE TO US THAN A TELEVISION SHOW. WE'VE DECIDED TO SUSPEND PRODUCTION OF THE SHOW FOR A LITTLE WHILE TO SEE IF WE CAN FIGURE THIS WHOLE THING OUT WITHOUT THE WHITE HOT LIGHTS ON. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING OUR PRIVACY AND NEED TO BE AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE. WE'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW THINGS WORK OUT."

I am disgusted. I am sick to my stomach that I just spent an hour of my life watching a marriage implode. I am sick at the thought of eight children looking at these tapes someday saying "Gee, that's when our parents got divorced on national television, but weren't our crooked houses and constantly matching outfits wonderful?" I'm p***ed that I went against my better judgement and turned this damn thing on tonight instead of reading a book. Or stitching. Or plucking every renegade eyebrow out of my head. I'm mad that I allowed myself to peek over the fence and then scan the tabloid headlines for the next salacious detail. I'm most upset, however, that I now have to take a moral stand and NEVER watch this damn channel again, despite the fact that they have a few shows that I find interesting. (I'll wait for the DVD's to come out, thank you very much, and I will not pay one damn dime for them, but will borrow them from the library like a person should).

I think what saddens me more than anything is the fact that our entertainment options have devolved to this level. Aunt Chrissy and I were talking about TeeVee shows the other day and we decided that there have been very very few truly original, well-written, well-acted shows out there. We've got cop stories, courtroom dramas, hospital soaps, and reality garbage coming out the ying yang, but when you want to see something that transports you or just takes your mind off of life for a lousy twenty-two minutes, you're completely screwed.

WHY???!!! Why did I have to think that something good would come out of that mess? Why do I constantly hope for the rosy outcome of something that I know to be beyond repair? Why did I think that the "IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT" would be that these stupid people on this stupid network had come to their stupid senses and had decided that their stupid reality was more important than the stupid public's access to it?

I'm not a drinkin' woman, but tonight I'm headed for the wine rack. It's either that or the Krispy Kreme drive through, and at this time of night I'm sure the resulting heartburn from the doughnuts would be worse than the potential hangover from a glass of vino.

So excuse me, fair readers, and thank you for allowing me to get this off of my heaving chest. I hope that I haven't offended anybody and that you'll come back to visit me soon. In the meantime...give the dog the remote and go pour yourselves a cocktail.

EDITED TO ADD: Now just so y'all don't think me chicken...here's what I've just left on the TLC Viewer Relations site (and no, it wan't AFTER the cork was removed from the bottle, but before):

Gentlemen: Please allow me to ask (respectfully, of course)..what the hell were you thinking? I've just watched the IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT on John and Kate Plus 8, and I hoped against hope that it would be that you decided to suspend production so that this family could regroup, get some help and see if they could get it together. Instead, we got to watch a marriage implode. Informative? Learning opportunity? Useful? Nope. Just salacious garbage that is not worthy of my time. Shame on you folks. Methinks you have many many apologies to make for exploiting this mess. (And yes, John and Kate are equally to blame.) I certainly expeced more from you. Sorry, but I won't be watching you or your sister channels in the future.

33 comments:

  1. I absolutely agree. AMEN.
    hugs
    Debs

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  2. I had to stop watching due to Kate being a pure and utter B*tch every single show. I also was sad to read (I didnt watch the show tonight) that they not only separated but had the show amended to share they had filed for divorce. Betting that the "sharing" of the house is for the better taping of the show...

    Sad that they (she?) just cant take a break and let family come first.

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  3. Having been one of those b...tchs to the world as mine collapsed around me....I would ask that everyone remember the adage....walk a mile in someones moccasins before you judge....why are we always so hard on the women who manage to hold it together instead of the insipid who are weak? I did not watch the show....nor do I slow for train wrecks.

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  4. You are so right! I want to watch programmes to take me away from real life, I've got a real life of my own, I don't need anyone else's.

    One thing to look forward to - there are going to be two feature length episodes of Cranford at the end of this year.

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  5. I don't watch the show (or that network, either), so don't feel that I'm in a position to comment.

    However, I took offense last week to the "entertainment" magazines publishing pictures of Kate spanking one of her children. That poor little girl was shown on the front page of magazines, with her dress yanked up to her waist, while her mother spanked her. How humiliating for that poor child. I was thoroughly disgusted by the "reporting" of this story.

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  6. I agree with what you said but would just like to add that it wasn't ever "reality". It could never be reality when there are tv cameras there and people directing/suggesting/lighting/arranging/filming/publicizing what you are doing. Reality TV isn't real!!!!

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  7. I've never watched it, but am disturbed that even with avoiding this series, I know far too much about John and Kate...

    I'd recommend The Big Bang Theory for your 22 1/2 minutes of escapist fun. First season is out on DVD now.
    I *heart* geeky guys.

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  8. I don't watch it, nor do I listen to all the reports about them. I see too much crappy reality in my workplace. I'm just not into reality shows, I guess. Good for you for sharing your thoughts with the network.

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  9. I do watch the show and have since the beginning, initially because I worked at the hospital where the kids were born and because when they were filming from Lancaster it was fun to see them at familiar places. I was very sad to see them split up but furious with both of them - mainly Jon - for the whole mess. Kate may be a beoutch but she always has been and Jon always has been what I would call "worthless". I do think he cares for his children but not enough to live up to his responsibilities....it is easy for him to leave his wife with the main responsibility for raising 8 children while he goes off to find himself....and as far as TLC goes...I will never watch anything on that network again. I agree they should have suspended the show to give them time to work on their marriage. Today is my 36th wedding anniversary - I love my husband but the entire 36 years has no been perfect. It takes a little work sometimes but is worth the effort.

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  10. I had really hoped the important announcement would be a suspension of the show too. :( I watched the show last night too, and it just really made me sad - and you're right it probably should not be aired for public consumption.

    I just also wanted to add that whiile we see Kate's "beoutchy" attitude, I can so relate to how once becomes like that with a mate who is seemingly indifferent and leaves all the adult responsibilites and decisions to their partner. That kind of "beouthchy" is all about the frustration.

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  11. rant on
    too right
    on all counts
    esp the junk on tv

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  12. BRAVA!!! Three cheers for the Spinster!!! and the Stew-inator of course!

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  13. having watched Kate on a talk show saying she did the TV show so she could support and raise her kids I wondered even then about them. Where was the We supporting and THEIR kids? I just can't help but wonder, while their marriage was falling apart and she was supposedly doing this for her children, why the contract for the next season was signed?
    I've been there, done that, at least as far as the divorce and kids goes. But when kids are involved, money isn't the most important thing, love, honor and commitment is. And the Gosselins didn't seem to have understand that when they committed to all of this. I feel so sorry for those 8 children. They will be the ones to suffer so much in the long run. Shame on both Jon and Kate.

    Try 18 and counting - the story of the Duggar family. A little old fashioned family - each one was born naturally, but they are being raised with love, honor and commitment. And their clothes never match. :)

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  14. At first I thought is was Kate, then like you I had not been watching the show and wanted to see the special announcement after watching the first episode this season, but tonight I sort of got the feeling Jon doesn't want the day to day responsibility.

    I feel really sorry for the kids, at five the youngest may have their memories of this time influenced when they grow up and google their parent's names.

    I understand the need for income, but I don't understand not trying to get some sort of counseling or something before divoricing. Honestly, to me it does not seem as if they have any extended family for support.
    Tammy

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  15. AMEN! I always thought Kate should find it beneficial to read Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" She has come across as so bi**y in the last couple of years. My heart and prayers go out to those precious children.

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  16. Bravo!! I commend you on your comments to the network!! I do not, nor do I intend to, watch ANY of the reality junk that's on any of the networks! The decline of the family in America is devastating enough without watching yet another one fold right before our eyes! Entertainment??? Not for me. I've been through it personally and I think it is deplorable that that is the type of show that is aired and called entertainment. I agree...shame on these networks for profiting from someone else's misery.

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  17. John said on the show last night that he wasn't sure he was going to do the taping but then decided to go ahead with it. Was he pressured into it because of contracts, etc.? The whole thing is so super depressing and I doubt anyone gets any thrills out of watching their marriage fall apart.

    The show in the past year has been very boring, so contrived and pre-arranged. Why would TLC even want to keep airing it? The family on Little People Big World actually has something worthwhile to offer us, while John and Kate offers us little except for matching clothes and product endorsements. Where's the joy?

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  18. Coni, I agree completly. I was wishing that they came to their senses and suspended the show too. But alas that did not happen. The only thing I thought about today was this: Those kids have worked with all those TLC people and have known them all of their lives. I imagine some relationships have developed with the TLC people. If they stopped the show the kids would be dealing with that loss also. Now I know that is not a good reason to keep doing the show....it was just something I thought of. They will have to deal with the breakdown of the family, Dad not being there etc. It is sad to say but for those little lives that show is the norm for them. So very sad.

    Also those darn crooked houses are over $1000.00 each, holy crud!

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  19. My do you have pull Ms. Spinster Stitcher! Just read about MSN.com that TLC has stopped production until at least August, possibly longer because they are starting to lose their fan base.

    Tammy

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  20. Woo, Coni, you've said it! In the realm of reality TV, I can only watch the Amazing Race. If I turn on any of the other "reality" shows, I just end up feeling embarrassed for the participants who don't have enough sense to act like decent humans in front of millions of people. Let us know if you get a response from TLC.

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  21. I can't speak to Jon & Kate, etc., because I've never watched it but to me "reality TV" is anything but. The programs are so contrived that there's no reality to them. I'll stick with HGTV and the History Channel!

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  22. I am so glad TLC gave them the chance to tell their side of the story in contrast to the one hour E show that trashed them both with nothing but speculation. I have loved watching this show and after my own failed marriage and raising two kids on my own I was proud to see that they are really trying to put the kids needs first. I always thought this type of joint custody arrangement would be the easiest on the kids. Mom and Dad jockey back and forth rather than the kids lives being in upheaval constantly. I hope they can make it work and I hope they can encourage others to give this option a try. FYI, doubt if TLC forced anything. It was obivous they both wanted to express their own feelings to counter act all the negative press shown on all the other networks. OK my rant is over, thanks for the chance for me to share too.

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  23. I can't stand this show. The only thing that they did was take fertility drugs to get pregnant and have a bunch of multiples (I speak as a mother of multiples) and parade them on TV. Both parents need a smack upside the head and to realize what is important--the kids they brought into the world, not the many things they got as a benefit of the process & TV show. It's ridiculous & I haven't watched it before and definitely won't watch it when it's back on in August.

    Give me Judge Judy anyday. That is quality TV, folks. :D

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  24. I'm a little late in leaving this comment, but WOW! I, living in The Netherlands where we obviously don't get this show, followed the entire 'will they or won't they divorce' on the bloody internet (it was everywhere: couldn't avoid it) and my thoughts were, from the beginning, the same as yours. Shouldn't these people have just left their show and concentrated on their real life instead? Definitely. Poor kids.
    These shows are the reason I don't watch TV (I really don't!), but even without a TV you can't avoid reality shows, as you see!

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