My mom can't come to the blog right now. She's out in the driveway driving the car back and forth over her Olympic Stitching Project. I told her she could use my scooter (given gas prices and all), but the old lady tore outta' here with her hair on fire. Man, I haven't seen her this mad since I peed all over the clothes hanging on the bottom part of her closet.
All I know is that the last several days around here have been miserable. Things got so bad that my Aunt Chrissy won't even come over for dinner any more! And that's the only time of the day that I can usually count on some kind of civilized conversation for cripe's sakes! I can do without my pesky little cousin Bosco coming over, but Aunt Chrissy is my salvation!
From what I gather, Mom thought that this book was going to be a stitch guide that would tell her how to make the flag picture on the front cover. She saw the book a few years ago at the needlepoint shop, and Aunt Chrissy bought it for her for Christmas. Mom was holding on to it to stitch at the "perfect occasion", and she figured the Olympics would work rather nicely. So she put together the huge-ass canvas (oops, I'm not allowed to say bad words), gathered up about a bazillion dollars worth of threads, and she even broke out the big floor stand to get ready. (By the way, I hate the floor stand. I scares me and I can't sit next to my mom in the Happy Chair when it's there....poop.) (Oooops, must be the stress that's causing me to lose my manners. Sorry.)
Well, when mom called Aunt Chrissy to complain about this thing tonight, she said that the book sucked in so many ways she didn't know where to start. I guess it doesn't tell her what thread goes where and then when she tries to figure out the stitch, some of the charts are all wonky.
I just don't know what to do. If she doesn't come inside soon, the neighbors are going to call the Mishawaka Police Department, and that will be very embarrassing. My mom is the Neighborhood Watch Captain so I can only imagine what will happen when they take her away in a "special van".
Uh oh. Looks like she's coming. I have to go now. I'm not allowed to use the 'puter without supervision.
Goodnight Cleveland! We love you!
P.S. I snapped a few pics of the Olympic Stitching Project before Mommie Dearest took it outside: